Although we are not aware of it, all our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions stem from either Love, or from Fear.

When our mind is calm and we feel happy, light-hearted, worry-free, and able to embrace our passions we are aligned to our True Self. To Source. To the love within. Connected to this love within, our attitudes and behaviors reflect the qualities of love

(Below, illustration 4 shows some of the aspects of LOVE)

When our mind is in overdrive, we can’t focus or are consumed with worry, blame, judgment, or any other negative or disempowering thoughts or feelings we are disconnected from our True Self. Disconnected to this love within, our attitudes and behaviors reflect the qualities of fear

(Below, Illustration 5 shows some aspects of FEAR)

We are all born connected to this love within. To our True Self. However, over the years we have gathered impressions from our life experiences, or from what we have witnessed.

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If these were mostly positive and we experienced or witnessed mostly loving, compassionate, uplifting, non-judgmental attitudes and acceptance of others we will have a positive outlook on life as our connection to our True Self will have remained quite strong.

If growing up the attitudes and behaviors we experienced or witnessed were mostly unloving, and the people around us were controlling, judgmental, or cruel and their aim was to disempower, we will likely have a negative attitude about life as our connection to the love within will have been weakened. However, a negative past can be overcome.

Sometimes being around negative and unloving people creates such an impact on us that we reject the negativity and become positive and loving. Or, one person in our life may have positively influenced us so much so that the spark of love was kept alive within us

Unhealed emotions from past negativity still stuck within us need a voice. This is most often released in dysfunctional ways. Unaddressed emotions affect our self-esteem. Our level of confidence. The will to do. We are indecisive. Depression, lethargy, bad habits, or even addictions will surface. Or, we project our unhealed emotions out into the world as dysfunctional behaviors towards others.


Love is at the heart of all our peace, happiness, and harmonious living

All the joy and passion that we feel, and harmony that manifests in our life, and all the other positive attitudes (many shown in the illustration) stem from love. We are able to bring these about because we are connected to the spark that we emanated from.

There is a memory of that spark within all of us, and it is easily accessible if no roadblocks were erected in life to squelch the connection. In positive, loving people, that connection can show up in either overt or covert ways, depending on their personalities.

Even when the connection is stifled it can still be accessed with external reminders. A baby’s smile, a spectacular sunset, the abandonment that arises in us from the exhilaration of an extreme sport, or the passion that is reawakened within us from music, dance, art, or anything else that moves us can rekindle the spark of love, joy, and fearlessness we originally held. What we are feeling or how we are being stems either from love, or from fear.

Everything Stems from Either Love or Fear


Fear is at the root of all of our issues

We do not recognize it as such, as it masks itself in many different manifestations that aim to protect us, but they ultimately keep us from being able to access joy, find our empowerment, and become our Best Self.

They also create conflict in our lives thereby distancing us from others. We may get hurt feelings because someone ignored us, withheld a compliment, or didn’t include us. This stems from a fear that we are not loved, appreciated, or good enough.

Not having inner confidence, we may fear failure and in turn get defensive at an innocent comment about where we are in life.

When we are not in touch with our own power-base, we may fear pursuing what we want and become judgmental of the successes of others.

We may fear poverty because of long-held perceptions of the poor, and thereby strive tirelessly, ignoring the urgings of Spirit.

We may feel a lack of love or connection in our lives and be fearful of being alone and thereby fall into relationships that are unfulfilling or abusive in some way.

Everything Stems from Either Love or Fear

Experts suggest that children of parents with addictions often tirelessly aim to control their environment as their home life was never predictable. However, this often backfires as the controlling attitudes usually create disharmony in their current home life, as succumbing to the underlying fear of instability creates another bad situation.

As well as the results of our attitudes or behaviors that arise because of not addressing our issues, all these manifestations of underlying fears create more of a misalignment with our True Self, and this distancing creates more neediness that aches to be satisfied. A vicious cycle ensues.

We do not recognize these manifestations as fear, because the original hurts we are seeking to protect ourselves from, or the limiting attitudes we hold because of the outdated ideals or biases we grew up with, are buried deep in the recesses of our Emotional Bodies.

Our fears can manifest as neediness, or they may be played out through our Perceived Needs, Hidden Agendas, or Protective Mechanisms―all aiming to avoid further hurt or feelings of disempowerment.

As we attempt to protect ourselves from further onslaughts against our fragile psyches, we project the manifestations of these unconscious influences onto others, acting in aggressive ways.

These may manifest as us being judgmental, aggressive, controlling, manipulative, defensive, or passive-aggressive. If our reactionary states are passive, we turn any perceived onslaught inward and bury further hurts and angers.

However, when we honestly look at the issues in our lives and use tools that can uncover the original buried emotions, we can connect the dots between these outer demonstrations and the associated inner-fears they were derived from that manifested in unhelpful, inappropriate, or harmful ways.

Connecting the dots of unaddressed emotions to attitudes and behaviors that are not serving our highest good is the first step to shifting to more positive ways of thinking and of being in the world.

When we overcome the effects of unaddressed emotions our confidence grows. We find our passions. Our relationships improve. We have more energy. And our life becomes more harmonious.

~Rosemary McCarthy©  October 2018, updated September 23, 2021.

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Text and illustrations copyright ©Rosemary McCarthy October 2018, updated September 23, 2021. All rights Reserved. You may only copy, share and distribute this article provided that the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website are included. However, I would appreciate it if you would inform me of where or to whom it has been shared, using the email Blessings, and thank you kindly. Rosemary?