Because we have been unaware of being under the influence of unconscious authority and that the separation we feel toward each other is an illusion, we have gone about life mindless to the effects of these false premises.
When we operate from a mindless state we act impulsively, foolishly, or single-minded, often blind to other possibilities and the effects our decisions will have on our ultimate happiness or on others.
We are not concerned with others or maintaining harmony in situations. We are acting from impulses aiming to either protect us, or get what we think we need to be happy or feel empowered.
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An example of this might be a spouse who, without consulting his or her partner, takes a job that makes more money but means less time for family. The partner making this decision may have been influenced by a disadvantaged background and be blind to the effects this decision would have on the rest of the family.
By making this decision on his or her own they are being mindless to the reasons they want the job as well as to the effect on those around them. Being mindless usually causes conflict with those around us.
Conversely, if we are mindful when making decisions or taking action we are not in denial of the reasons for our desires or choices, and we consider their effects on others. We instinctively maintain harmony in situations..
When we decide to shift to becoming more aware and away from the negative and/or being mindless a conscious effort is required. However, we don’t have to examine every thought or attitude we hold.
We can start by examining our general focus, thoughts, motives, and reactions and consider how our choices impact ourselves and those around us. We still get to live normal life, but we just do a bit of self-reflection.
Our minds can decide whether our emotions are showing us true pictures or are based on false created Self that does not guide us to ultimate satisfaction. Unless we are mindful, we will fall prey to emotions influenced by our unconscious.
For example, it is our neediness which speaks through our emotions―that wants us to overeat or indulge in something that is not good for us. We can engage our conscious minds to override those emotions by using self-talk.
We can say something like, “I have decided to eat healthily, but I now feel the urge to eat something unhealthy. I can overcome this urge. And I will.” We take a few deep breaths to anchor in this intent. If the urge is still there, we can have a healthy snack, a cup of tea, or go and do something that will distract us.
When someone is rude to us, our tendency might be to take it personally, and we feel hurt or get angry. Instead of focusing on how we feel or reacting in some way, we can switch our focus from ourselves to the other person.
Maybe they are having a bad day, are dealing with a stressful life event, or have had a difficult, unfair, or even abusive life situation. This will shift our focus from anger to compassion and we will feel more peaceful.
Anger keeps us in our mind, which keeps us on edge or frustrated, whereas compassion brings us to our heart space, which bring us peaceful feelings.
Mindfulness is about being aware of where our minds are going, and shifting the focus if necessary, so that we can be happier and live better, more peaceful, and harmonious lives.
Although being mindful holds a Zen quality to it, we do not need to be or look like a holy person in perfect meditation or prayer pose to become mindful.
Connecting to our True Self, being spiritual, and becoming more mindful
does not mean we walk around in robes or take up esoteric practices.
We live normal lives.
It just means that we are more loving, respectful,
and accepting―towards ourselves and others.
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~ Rosemary McCarthy© April 12, 2019.
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