No matter what “bad things” we have thought, believed, supported, done, or not done, time we have wasted, money we have squandered, or any addictions we have succumbed to, we can turn our life around and rise above what has held us in negative attitudes or patterns hurting our self or others.

Forgiving ourselves is vital to becoming our Best Self

To do so we must embrace the concept of unconditional love for ourselves. The Universe (God, Spirit, Source, or whatever we call the creative universal power) offers us only unconditional love, and within that premise is complete forgiveness.

It is OUR egoic thinking that we inherited from Humanity’s way of approaching life that causes us to blame and be unforgiving – of ourselves and others.

The understanding is that we only ever hurt our self, others, or act badly because we are disconnected from the love within our True Self, and are thereby misaligned from universal understanding.

This blog article is based on concepts in my new book  

(available in Print and E-book)

About Book found here 

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Even though at our core we are all pure love, most of us have been disconnected from that love – and unable to feel it or express it because we succumbed fear scenarios and defensive attitudes because of hurts put upon us, or situations we misunderstood or misinterpreted in our past.

These protective devices caused us to contract, close our hearts, and thus we become distanced from our True Self and the unconditional love within it. Not aligned with love, we are not attuned to the nuances of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness it holds – for our self and towards others.

Our hurts cause us to hurt others, or act in unloving, judgmental, and bullying ways.

Detached from these loving qualities we do not always act in our own best interests. This disconnect from the love within us causes us to see others through a clouded lens, which induces us to act negatively towards them.

  • We are all somewhat misaligned from our True Self and this shows up in the various ways we navigate life. This coupled with our various personalities, habits, preferences, upbringing, sexual identities, and our racial and cultural backgrounds make us all look, speak, and behave differently.
  • When we have a strong connection to our True Self and the love within it we do not see or focus on the differences – we see from a loving place and beyond the differences to the core of the other person – to the love within them.
  • When we have a weak connection to our True Self and thereby to the love within us, we see others through the clouded lens of the unconscious influences that run our lives and lie between us and our True Self. These causes us to judge, blame, shame, belittle, criticize, ignore, or act in other non-passionate ways towards others.

Most of us have somewhat of a connection to our True Self and therefore vacillate between being loving and being negative.

When we act in disapproving or hurtful ways towards others our inner being knows we are acting from our misalignment and still offers us unconditional love and forgiveness.

However, the filter of our unconscious influences does not allow these to get through to us, and our ego jumps on the chance to instill guilt and shame into our psyche.

For eons Humanity’s history has been based on blame, judgment, guilt, and shame, and so the premise of unconditional love and forgiveness is long forgotten.

Guilt and shame are now so ingrained into our psyches that we unknowingly hold onto them and are unaware of the effects they have on our lives. Our inner-being knows it is not good to hold onto these, or any, buried feelings and aims to dispose of them.

In attempts to rid ourselves of these unwanted buried and confusing feelings of guilt and shame we project them onto others or out into the world. This is actually counterproductive, as in doing so we actually amass more and guilt and shame, and a vicious cycle ensues.

This is why self-forgiveness is paramount to  overcoming negative responses, and is what allows us feel empowered and become our Best Self.

(In part 2, I will further explain these concepts and discuss some ways we can override this negative programming we unknowingly allowed to sneak into our psyche that now undermines our peace, happiness, sense of empowerment and cause upsets in our relationships).

© Rosemary McCarthy, May 2019.

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 Copyright © 2019 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this article (or the worksheet) simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website are included. You can contact me at: Blessings, and thank you kindly.