While most relationships may be based on love and a commitment to experience life together, it is quite natural to experience conflicts.
We each hold distinct character traits and come from unique backgrounds and experiences. If we do not respect the differences these engender, or allow space for their expression, conflicts will ensue.
Within our familiar and intimate relationships, every-day life offers us many, many opportunities for our differences to clash, and for one or both parties to feel hurt, misunderstood, or be angered by how our differences play out.
Differences In Our Relationships that Create Conflict Actually Add Value
We are inclined to try to have our partners think, act, and feel the way we do. However, making a partnership work involves accepting our differences and embracing the qualities that each bring to the table.
Admittedly, this is easier said than done. Once the honeymoon phase is over and real life sets in, seeing the positive aspects of the other or the relationship often goes by the wayside. As with everything else in life, for our relationships to be harmonious we have to consciously focus on the positive.
This is an excerpt from chapter 5 “Relationships” in my book, Your Journey to Peace … About this – and my upcoming Books here
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When we focus on the positive in the other, those aspects have a fertile place to grow. During hard times or rough patches, we can draw on each others strength. So, helping the other to grow their innate gifts, benefits us as well.
Although throwing in the towel may seem like the best idea when the going gets tough, in fact, it’s only the easy way out. Our differences are meant to help us grow. (See below for information on my next post, where I further explain this).
We are often attracted to and marry or choose partners with opposite personalities, but with many qualities we like and appreciate. However, what we like – our differences, is only part of his or her personality make-up.
For example, the person who is organized and gets the bills paid on time may annoy us by being more focused on money, organization, or routine than we like. We might be drawn to a person who is more spontaneous and brings excitement to the family, although their inability to keep to schedules annoys us.
Either way, bills have to be paid and budgets adhered to or chaos ensues. Spontaneity keeps things alive and fun. Both types of personalities are needed for life to go smoothly with practical issues looked after, while at the same time having fun within the relationship.
We can choose to focus on the positive aspects of our partner and praise him or her for the valuable qualities he or she brings to the partnership, or we can berate our spouse for the aspects of his or her personality that annoy us.
We can uplift the other. Or we can tear them down.
Tearing them down does not benefit us – or the relationship – in the long run.
It is easiest to be accepting of our partner when we can see the differences as a blessing, recognizing that as he or she navigates life differently than we do it adds value to our partnership or marriage.
Instead of seeing our differences as sources of conflict, we can see them as sources of healing. Making peace and accepting the differences we share with our partners helps us grow spiritually, brings self-healing, and moves us closer to wholeness.
Next week my associate post will be “Relationships: the Perfect Vehicle to Heal Our Misalignment from Love” (See below for information link to my upcoming book “Relationships in an Evolving World”)
© Rosemary McCarthy, November 28, 2020
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See here for About Book 1 of my new series, “Why We Are the Way We Are” – and my website. Cover Image below
here for About my 1st book, “Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science.” Cover Image below
here for About Book 2, Overcoming Our Unconscious Influences like Anger, Hurt Feelings, Frustrations, Blame, etc.– due out December 2020. (Sign up for my newsletter to stay updated on release. Link here
here for About Book 3, Relationships in an Evolving World – due out winter 2020/21. (Sign up for my newsletter to stay updated on release. Link here
here for my blog page (with articles on various subjects related to our personal, collective, and cosmic journeys to peace.
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