January 2021 - Spirit Fawn

Our Boundaries: How They Can Shift In Times of Stress – Part 1/4

wvlju2021-07-23T06:15:12+00:00

Healthy boundaries allow us to preserve our individualism while sharing our lives with others. Maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to our sense of well-being. The health and strength of our boundaries are vital in allowing for easy flowing and healthy relationships with those in our lives, and pleasant experiences with the people we run into as we go about our days. This article is based on my books. They all focus on some aspect of "Our Journeys to Peace." Links to About Books is here When reasonable and healthy boundaries are being respected, there are no blurred lines between what is comfortable for us – physically and emotionally – and what is not. When around others, we either feel normal, comfortable, and safe. Or we do not. We don’t engage with people who criticize us. Suffocate us. Emotionally bombard us. Nor do we allow others to take advantage of us. Healthy boundaries set the groundwork for feeling comfortable around others and having satisfying give-and-take relationships. ~ With unhealthy boundaries, we are often frustrated and disappointed in our communications with others, as well as in our relationships in general. ~ Unhealthy boundaries are either too closed or too wide open. People with healthy boundaries are confident and well-balanced. They know themselves. And who or what they can deal with – without negative repercussions. Healthy boundaries act as sort of a protection mechanism, although confident and well-balanced people don’t really need protection. Their confidence and sense of self guide them to make good choices. We All Handle Life and Stress Differently We all have different energy levels, emotional strengths, abilities to handle change and stress, tendency and capacity to give, and response levels to those in need – emotionally or physically. For many of us, much of this has recently been taxed. I think we all feel the need for a nice long vacation.😎 At the same time, there is way more need around us than ever before. We have all been thrown for a loop, and we have all reacted in different ways. Some of us have been greatly affected, while others of us have taken it all more in stride. And some of us have even appreciated the extra quiet time. If we have been affected, we must ensure we remain healthy and emotionally balanced – even if that means reigning in activities or commitments to others. For those of us who have managed it all more easily, we may have been able to help others get through this past year. Being of service and helping others can feel wonderful and be very fulfilling. For others of us, we have needed all of our strength to look after only our self, as it has been a daily struggle to just stay afloat. And some of us have needed lots of help to get through it all. Thank goodness for the many angels on earth who had the extra energy to give and came to our rescue. 🌈 This pandemic has caused many of us to have [...]

Our Boundaries: How They Can Shift In Times of Stress – Part 1/4wvlju2021-07-23T06:15:12+00:00

Understanding Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactions

wvlju2021-04-16T20:13:26+00:00

When we have no true connection to the honesty of our feelings and the depths of the emotions they hold, we feel and react from unconscious influences that have no bearing upon current situations – rather than respond to what is presenting itself now. When our feelings and reactions are based on unconscious influences, they are ineffective at giving us satisfying results in the present; nor do they bring us ultimate peace and happiness. This post is from my upcoming book and Workshops: Overcome - Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, Impatience, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness (working title). About Book HERE It is also a companion post to Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactions,” See HERE to access. Connecting the dots between what we are feeling and how we are reacting is scary stuff. It requires that we face our self. That we admit our vulnerabilities. Our fears. Our hurts. Our sensitivities. However, doing so helps us to understand why our dealings with others may leave us feeling hurt, frustrated, or disappointed, or that our automatic reactions do not produce the results we want. Further connecting the dots between our feelings and reactions – to their root causes helps us to overcome any hurt feelings or ineffective reactions or behaviors that do not give us satisfactory results. Overcoming Our Unconscious Influences - is what my upcoming book is about. About Book here When we are frustrated, get our feelings hurt, or we react in ineffective ways like becoming angry, are critical, or blame another for how we feel, it is usually because ... we held expectations of them that were unmet we are disappointed in them, or in a situation they created, our neediness caused us to be extra sensitive, we allowed their bad reactions to affect our state of mind Whatever caused us to feel bad, they are all still our feelings. And we can do something about shifting them – and shift them we must!, Because it is in doing so that we begin to feel empowered and in control of our life. Understanding our feelings, and why we react in ineffective ways is empowering. Unmet Expectations: We often think others think like us, that their focus is where ours is, and that they place the same level of importance on the subject at hand that we do. People do not; nor can they read our mind. Many of our issues with others are the result of bad communication, ineffective communication, or a lack of communication. People don't usually want to make us feel bad or disappoint us; they simply don't realize they are doing so. They may feel and navigate life very differently we do. No matter our differences, we all want to feel good and have peace in our life. And this not only looks different to us all, but we all also go about seeking it in different ways. Being Disappointed: When promises are broken, or what we expect of another does [...]

Understanding Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactionswvlju2021-04-16T20:13:26+00:00

Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to Our Feelings, Emotions and Reactions

wvlju2021-06-10T19:10:53+00:00

This is a companion post to “Understanding Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactions,” See HERE to access. Always start with a small two-minute meditation/prayer/attunement. Invite in your Best Self, True Self, Higher Self, Spirit, Holy Spirit, Buddha, Jesus, or any other deity to join with you as you aim for self-understanding. This ensures we do so only for our highest good. When we feel hurt, or are angry or frustrated with another(s), it is our feelings of anger. So, we must address or deal with it. We either turn these inwards and allow the feelings to fester, or we project them outwards toward others, either way, both hurt us in the long run. You can use this worksheet for when you: 1) feel hurt or bad in any way in your dealings with another, or 2) when you react to people in ways that create conflict, or do not get you the results you want. Acknowledging and putting words to our feelings and reactions helps get to the crux of the matter – so we can effectively deal with it. You can use the few examples I give below as guidance or inspiration for your own self-understanding. Get paper and pen and try to pinpoint — with words how you felt: hurt, angry, frustrated, less than, etc., and/or how with another you reacted badly or in an ineffective way. We can only ever work on our part of any issue. Below, we will name the feelings and/or reactions that may be keeping us from feeling happy and peaceful, and from allowing for harmonious relationships. Later, we can connect the dots to the reason behind our feelings and reactions. Eg 1: Ways I May Feel Hurt or Frustrated: He/she forgot. He/she disappointed me – again. I feel hurt when others don’t keep their promises to me. I feel hurt when others don’t show appreciation for my efforts. I feel frustrated others don't meet my expectations. I get frustrated when he/she/they don’t listen to me. I feel hurt when he/she ignores my wants, desires, opinions. I feel hurt when he/she/they don’t say or show that they value, appreciate, or respect me. I feel less than when he/she yells at me, is impatient with me, or treats me badly. Fill in your own. Use the person’s name, and give a specific circumstance. Eg. 2: When I May React Badly or Ineffectively You can use any of the examples from above; here are a few others that focus more on not getting enough or proper help from another that may cause us to react badly or aggressively. He/she doesn’t listen to me. I don’t get enough help. I have to do everything. I don’t feel appreciated for all I do. There is never enough time for all there is to do. When I ask for help, they won’t help, or they don’t do it right. Fill in your own. Use the person’s name, and give a specific circumstance. Copyright © Rosemary McCarthy, Sept 25, 2020, [...]

Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to Our Feelings, Emotions and Reactionswvlju2021-06-10T19:10:53+00:00

Feeling Expanded, While Physically Restricted

wvlju2021-01-14T15:26:23+00:00

When we live life from an expanded place, our whole being feels loose and free. We are happy, contented, open, curious, and we feel unlimited in what we can do, or attain. Not feeling or living expanded, we are sensitive to – and focus mainly on physical and sensual cues. This causes us to internalizes them – mentally and physically, which creates contraction in our being. When we live from a contracted place, we may be overly serious and prone to focusing on the dramas of live. This causes us to feel tight and restricted. We are closed, cautious, fearful, and feel limited in what we can do, or attain. Living expanded we feel light, calm, contented, and trusting that our life will go well. And our life flows easily. Living contracted we feel heavy, concerned, and tentative about life and unsure that it will go well. Our life often seems like a struggle. We are meant to be happy, open, and feel unlimited. We now understand the importance of living in this way, but putting it into practice in difficult times is not always easy. Still, it is in challenging times like this that we have to make the extra effort to remain happy and open, so that we can live expanded – not contracted, and still able to reap the benefits of living from the higher states of consciousness living expanded bring to us. This article is a repeat from 2020, tweaked a little. It is derived from my upcoming book, Overcoming Our Unconscious Influences, like Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, Neediness, Impatience, and Control and Blame Tendencies - due out in early 2021. About this and my published books see here Living expanded we are aligned with Universal flow, which embodies love, trust, hope, co-operation, and fearlessness. Living contracted we are aligned with the limitations of our mind and the power of our emotions, which lure is into drama, fear, doubt, exaggeration, competition, suspiciousness, and limitation. The more we are conscious and connected to our True Self, the easier it is to live from an expanded place. Some of us live from an expanded consciousness most of the time. But most of us live life from an expanded consciousness some of the time – mostly when life is going well. When life is going well, it is so much easier to be positive and approach life with openness, and free of worry and restrictive and thinking. With a bump here and there along our path, most of us can weather life’s ups and downs, and easily return to being positive and open to life’s possibilities. However, when too many bumps or real concerns cross our path at the same time or consecutively, even those of us who are conscious and have a strong connection to our True Self, fall prey to worry, doubt, stress, and become tentative and distrustful of life, and our future. However, to lessen the blow, we must remain hopeful, instead of fearful. We must keep dreams of a good future [...]

Feeling Expanded, While Physically Restrictedwvlju2021-01-14T15:26:23+00:00

Peaceful Honesty: Clearing Away the Cobwebs of Our Past

wvlju2021-01-19T14:04:06+00:00

Most of us have at least encountered moments of peace and even pure bliss in our life. Some of us feel peaceful most of the time. Others us of vacillate between feeling peaceful and being worried, stressed, and even fearful. While others of us can rarely access feeling peaceful – never mind feel blissful. Whenever we experience life from a peaceful place, we are living connected to our soul – to our True Self. Connected to our soul, we are in touch with our emotional world. Peaceful Honesty is a concept from my first book, Your Journey to Peace ..., About book here We are open, honest, and fearless. We are authentic. We have no need to hide our feelings, desires, dreams, hurts, pains, or fears. Nor do we feel the need to defend, react, or attack. We trust life, and the insights that come to us. When we do not live connected to our soul, or cannot tap into feelings of peacefulness, we are living life at the beck and call of our mind. Any negative or hurtful experiences we are still holding onto, or any from our past we buried, influence our mind to work from a place of fear, suspiciousness, and protectionism. Living mind and fear centered, we are disconnected from Our true feelings – afraid to show – or even acknowledge our vulnerabilities. Being mind-centered causes us to bring echoes of the past into present circumstances. These echoes of the past created stories in our mind about how life should be and how others should be towards us. We then create expectations based on these stories that have nothing to do with what is happening in the present. We may be afraid to show our vulnerabilities, but they come out anyway in covert ways – by our reactions and behaviors. We therefore navigate life from limited, superficial, dishonest place. However, once we acknowledge and look at the real cause of current anxieties, disappointments or angers, and clear away the cobwebs from our past that are causing these, we open the door to living in Peaceful Honesty. A little later this winter, I will be holding online courses that help us uncover, deal with, and overcome what is keeping us away from Peaceful Honesty. For keep updated, stay tuned to my newsletters, or sign-up here if you are not already on my email list. Peaceful Honesty The term Peaceful Honesty came to me one morning about 10 years ago, as I awoke with an intensely peaceful feeling. It was as though every breath I took that morning went deep down into the core of my being. For years I had worked on acknowledging, accessing, and releasing much of my old, buried hurts and feelings. By the time this feeling of Peaceful Honesty came upon me that morning, I had unraveled many layers that lay between me and my True Self, and the peace that was lying beneath them started to reveal itself. My True Self and the inner peace it held simply [...]

Peaceful Honesty: Clearing Away the Cobwebs of Our Pastwvlju2021-01-19T14:04:06+00:00