As we start to get back into the swing of Fall activities (at least those of us in the Northern hemisphere are), let us remember to not get so caught up in all the various commitments and/or responsibilities that come along with this time of the year that may cause us to become stressed and overly busy.

And although we have missed out on many of the fun things we were used to doing, many of us have also enjoyed the slowing down –and used the time to rejuvenate our mind, body, and soul.  And if you feel bored or listless, remember how uplifting feeling relaxed and “just being” is.

“Just being” offers our mind, body, and soul the energetic space to recalibrate – without us even being aware of it. And it puts us in a state where we can reflect.

Modern life has often led us to ignore the reflective and feeling parts of ourselves. Our forced slowdowns this past year and a half have given us more time than usual to be calmer, more reflective, and opportunities to “just be.”

Links to 3 companion posts are at the end.

To be happy and feel good we need to attend to our body, mind, emotions, and spiritual connection – and it is the subtler parts of ourselves that nurture these.

The subtler parts of ourselves are more in tune with love – with a connection to our True Selves – to others – and everything around us. They are more based on our true reality.

Being in tune with love and connected to our true reality, we navigate life adhering to love’s qualities: kindness, sharing, compassion, acceptance, equality, unity, etc. We feel empowered – not in a striving for power way (based on a false strength) but from a place of inner strength (based on our true reality). This allows us to embrace the concept of me-and-you.

 Humanity’s history has been based on false realities.

Of separate motivations grounded in fear, greed, competition – on me-against-you.

Fighting for our survival became paramount in our existence. We were reactive, rather than responsive.

Although today most of us do not have to fight for our physical survival, we have maintained the competitiveness and reactive states of that survival mode. This, along with the disconnect from our True Self, has created stress and uneasiness in our beings. This has translated into the business and getting ahead ways of navigating life that has become the norm for many of us.

The reactive way of navigating life that we inherited from past generations causes us to aggressively approach situations  – often bringing in past issues or being influenced by unaddressed emotions from our past – rather than responding calmly and only addressing what is currently happening.

Our business, competitiveness, focus on getting ahead, and our reactive states have left no room to connect to our subtler and reflective natures – that are so important to our sense of well-being.

This article/blog post is based on concepts from my books

Your Journey to Peace    and “Why We Are the Way We Are

(Book cover images below)

I am also a Copywriter and I Offer various Writing Services. See  My Writing Services Page

When the reflective and feeling parts of ourselves are disregarded, we lead unbalanced lives. We have become disconnected from the subtleties of our True Self. This can cause us to be discompassionate. Selfish. Unable to see how our attitudes and behaviors affect those around us.

Being unbalanced undermines our peace and happiness, and the stress it creates within us hurts those around us and causes conflicts in our relationships. We are usually unaware or in denial that we are behaving in ways that hurt us or those around us – because we do not realize that Unconscious Influences are running our lives.

Unconscious Influences and an unbalanced life will derail us from what will ultimately make us happy.

One example of being unbalanced is a workaholic, who spends all their time focusing on success, money, and/or power and leaves no time for relaxation, family life, or spiritual growth.

Workaholics are usually unaware or in denial of the consequence of their single-mindedness on themselves and the effects of their pursuits on those close to them.

Or, they may have their eyes wide open and simply do not care about anything or anybody else at this point in their lives, which is of course their own choice. However, they likely will have to face the consequences – at one time or another.

Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, Allowing for Reflection

Another example of people being out of balance is being caught up in business – either to avoid their problems or emotions or simply because being busy has become a habit.

Either way, it is the unconscious driving forces from Humanity’s and our personal past histories that create a distorted picture of reality causing us to allow for imbalances in our lives.

When things go awry, many of us have defaults we automatically turn to.  Some of us turn to what will uplift us and make us feel better and more able to deal with what is going on. Others of us soothe ourselves with lower-energy things or activities. If we allow these to become habits they can turn into dysfunctions. And once a dysfunction takes hold of us, it is as if it has a mind of its own, and we become unbalanced.

The whole world has lately gone awry. And many of us have become unbalanced  – at least to some degree – even if we had led more or less balanced lives before. Becoming conscious of any harmful habits we may have fallen prey to – and working to override them is what will serve us best – even if they have become like a friend.

A habit that feels like a friend – but that will ultimately hurt us,

  or keep us from moving forward in life in a positive direction – is a false friend.

We are now starting to understand that:

?Staying balanced within ourselves is a vital part of our mental – and physical health.

This is usually related to health, family life, career, or our happiness and ability to connect to the subtleties in life. To feel joy. To feel peaceful. We need to ask ourselves whether or not our life choices and decisions will bring us peace of mind, contentment, and ultimately make us happy.

Most of us have – at least at one time or another gotten caught up in the business of life and/or feeling the necessity of being in competition with others. Reminding ourselves of the stress and awful feelings these bring us will help us override any tendency to revert back to them

?Being compassionate and fair towards others is also part of our mental – and thereby our physical health.

We do not need to be greedy or in competition with others. These bring down our being and cause fractures in our connection to Universal flow.

We now know that there is enough love, success, and material goods to go around – for us and everyone – and that the Universe operates under the principle of abundance.

However, to be open to the gifts of Universal flow we have to maintain a strong connection to our True Self – to the love it embodies. This connection is weakened when we become negative in any way or our life becomes unbalanced.

When we live unbalanced lives the important things that ultimately fulfill us suffer. 

Assuring we are balanced and attuned to the subtler parts of ourselves is vital to having a full, happy, and empowered life. In his transformative healing sessions, Gerry Clow reminds us that as a society we have tipped the scales way off-center because we have replaced the subtler aspects of life with the harsher ones:

“Most of our lives we are reactive, rather than reflective. We spend our time searching, not sourcing; looking, not listening; finding, but not feeling. We involve ourselves in life, forgetting often how to evolve ourselves in life, not realizing it’s essential – and healthy – to be on both pathways at the same time.” (1)

It is not our fault that we have adopted harmful and limiting ways of approaching life. We inherited them from our ancestors. We did not know. But now we do. We know how destructive they are to our personal happiness and spiritual growth – and we now know we should – and can override them. And there are many tools out there to help us do so.

We know we can – and should be mindful of where our thoughts go.

Be aware of how we feel. How our attitudes and reactions affect us – and those around us. 

Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, Allowing for Reflection

As we continue through hopefully what will be the last stretch of the restrictions put upon us, let’s use any quiet time that could be seen as a negative and turn it into a positive by Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, and Allowing for Reflection – so that we come out of this stronger than when we entered this crazy time.

Companion Post: Expressing Ourselves: to Avoid Depression, Dysfunctions, and Lashing Out at Others. This is the message of my August newsletter: Sign-up to receive my free monthly newsletter. 

Companion Post: Journaling: A Path to Peace, Happiness, and Harmonious Relationships

Companion Post: Understanding the Unconscious Influences that Run Our Lives

1) Gerry Clow, RPP, RCST (2014).

© Rosemary McCarthy September 2019, updated September 16 and  October 20, 2021.

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About My Books: (Cover Images below) 2 published Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Scienceand “Why We Are the Way We Are” –  2 upcoming “Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, like Anger Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness” due out early 2022, and “Relationship Intelligence …” – due out late Spring 2022

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Copyright © September 2019, updated September 16 and October 20, 2021, by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. You may only copy, share and distribute this article provided that the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website are included. You can contact me at: Blessings, and thank you kindly.?