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wvlju

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So far wvlju has created 152 blog entries.

Relationship Intelligence … ( Book 2 – Fall 2023

2023-06-27T16:55:18+00:00

Relationship Intelligence, Choose Your Ideal Partner, Improve Your Couple Relationship, Heal Your Family Relationships is the 2nd book in 'Our Journeys to Peace' Series - and is due out Fall 2023. You can stay updated on release date from My Newsletter or My Facebook Page It explains ... 💗he Importance of - and How to - Vet for Your Ideal Partner 💗?That You Can Alleviate the Friction in Your Current Partner Relationship 💗The Value of - and How to - Make Peace within Your Family Relationships. Relationship Intelligence …  also explains  ... ?The Importance of Healing / Making Peace with Our Difficult Relationships – Our Present or Past Ones ?That it Is Through the Quality of Our Relationships that We Find Peace, Happiness, and Contentment ?And it Is Through Our Connections to One Another that We Heal Our Self, Help Others Heal, and Ultimately Help Heal The World. 💗💗💗 About Book 1 – Why We Are the Way We Are – published. About Book 3 - Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, such as Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness - due out Winter 2023-24 To stay updated on when My New Books Become Available - and My Workshops Startup Again Sign-up for My Newsletter Updated, June, 2023. Rosemary 💕

Relationship Intelligence … ( Book 2 – Fall 20232023-06-27T16:55:18+00:00

Relationships: As We Evolve Our Relationships Improve – Part 1/3

2022-07-30T03:34:06+00:00

Relationships are the vehicle that best allows us to work out our issues. Our pains and fears. Our neediness. Our aggression. Our protective devices. It is where we most play out our reactionary or passive styles. This is especially true in our familial and couple relationships This article is based on ch. 5 "Relationships" in Your Journey to Peace ... Our Couple Relationships What most of us look for in our intimate relationships is companionship, and for the other to love, help, and support us in life.  In our younger days, we may look for the right person to build a family with.  We may also look for a partner to offer us security. And from a human perspective, this is all fine. However, from a higher, spiritual perspective, the purpose of all our relationships is for soul growth: to connect more fully to our True Self - so that we can live life coming from a place of LOVE. In fact, all our interactions with others offer us opportunities to come from that place of love: to offer the qualities of love to others.  (See my post The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear. The link is also at the end. Because of the intimacy required, our relationships are the best vehicle to work through our unprocessed hurts and pains from our past. In our day-to-day life, any  Unconscious Influences we may hold, like neediness, defensiveness, or aggressive, controlling, or passive tendencies. naturally arise. It is unprocessed hurts and pains from our past that caused us to create these Unconscious Influences to protect our hearts and psyches. These, along with our individual personalities, differing ways of approaching life, and the various defensive and protective mechanisms we created to protect our hearts and psyches are what creates hurt feelings in us and conflicts with others. Our couple relationships also often hold expectations that cannot be met. And our communication skills are often weak. With presumed, unvoiced, or misunderstood expectations and poor communication we may get hurt feelings or react badly in frustration, and our unconscious, habitual responses rear their ugly head, and instead of coming from a place of love and understanding, we unknowingly invite conflict into our relationships. Our relationships are actually set up to trigger our Unconscious Influences - by others pushing our buttons. This is why our relationships are often so difficult! Unconscious Influence create havoc in our relationships. They cause us to navigate life from a place of fear, protectionism, defensiveness, and suspiciousness. We are overly sensitive and prone to blame to other for how we feel and for not understanding us. The emotional instability and feelings of disempowerment created from past unhealed wounds or conflicting messages we received about love, create ineffective, habitual patterns of negative reactions and behaviors that cause hurt feelings for us and conflicts with others. Our unaddressed wounds get triggered in our communications with others as we erroneously bring echoes of past hurts or fears into present issues or situations with others. However, our sensitivities are [...]

Relationships: As We Evolve Our Relationships Improve – Part 1/32022-07-30T03:34:06+00:00

Relationships: Partnering Up Consciously – Separating Consciously 2/3

2020-12-03T19:28:35+00:00

The more consciousness we bring to our dating, the better they turn out for us.  The more consciousness we bring to our current relationships, the more easily they flourish. And the more evolved and conscious we become - aware of our wants, needs, and expectations - as well as any ways of being that may be detracting us from getting what we want from our dating or relationships, the more confident and empowered we become. Being more conscious allows us to more easily trust our hearts - that they are showing us a true picture when choosing a spouse or life-partner (or even friends or a business partner) - instead of one created from denial or neediness. Consciousness brings maturity to dating, and to relationships.  For Part 1 see  HERE For Part 3 see Here  The more evolved and conscious we become, the less we will have to be wary of our unconscious influences (hurt feelings, neediness, aggressive or overly-passive reactions, etc.) luring us into hurtful or chaotic situations. Nor will we have to be so vigilant at continuously examining our emotions, desires, or motives. Neither will we have to be so cautious of others’ motives. When we bring consciousness and the maturity it holds to our dating and relationships, we are be working at higher vibration capacities. Our radars become better attuned to the vibrations of others, and if something is off we will cue into it more easily. This article is based on  Ch 5, “Relationships” in my book, Your Journey to Peace …   About Book here This will be expanded upon in Relationships in an Evolving World, due out early Spring 2021. About Book  here To stay updated, sign-up for my free monthly Newsletter  here  The more conscious we become, the greater our connection to our True Self, and the more we feel guided towards partners based on true soul parings where both can thrive. Where there is equality, acceptance, and forgiveness - instead confusion, hot then cold attitudes, jealousy, possessiveness, or flip flopping about where the dating or relationship will go. In conscious relationships, we encourage each other to be the best we can be. And because our strength and self-confidence comes from within, we are not invested in changing our partner or making them acquiesce to our desires. We also understand that our partner gets his or her strength and guidance from their True Self, and if that guidance is calling them to move on from the relationship we will not be so inclined towards drama, anger, revenge, or the plethora of negative responses breaking up has caused in the past. As we uncover and work through unconscious influences that affect how we think, react, and act, we will choose our partners, spouses, and life-partners more consciously. We will become stronger in ourselves, and have more clarity. We will no longer be inclined to choose partners from a place of confusion, neediness, or to fill a void. This will soon become the norm. Separating Consciously Will Also Start to [...]

Relationships: Partnering Up Consciously – Separating Consciously 2/32020-12-03T19:28:35+00:00

Understanding Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactions

2021-04-16T20:13:26+00:00

When we have no true connection to the honesty of our feelings and the depths of the emotions they hold, we feel and react from unconscious influences that have no bearing upon current situations – rather than respond to what is presenting itself now. When our feelings and reactions are based on unconscious influences, they are ineffective at giving us satisfying results in the present; nor do they bring us ultimate peace and happiness. This post is from my upcoming book and Workshops: Overcome - Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, Impatience, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness (working title). About Book HERE It is also a companion post to Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactions,” See HERE to access. Connecting the dots between what we are feeling and how we are reacting is scary stuff. It requires that we face our self. That we admit our vulnerabilities. Our fears. Our hurts. Our sensitivities. However, doing so helps us to understand why our dealings with others may leave us feeling hurt, frustrated, or disappointed, or that our automatic reactions do not produce the results we want. Further connecting the dots between our feelings and reactions – to their root causes helps us to overcome any hurt feelings or ineffective reactions or behaviors that do not give us satisfactory results. Overcoming Our Unconscious Influences - is what my upcoming book is about. About Book  here  When we are frustrated, get our feelings hurt, or we react in ineffective ways like becoming angry, are critical, or blame another for how we feel, it is usually because  ... we held expectations of them that were unmet we are disappointed in them, or in a situation they created, our neediness caused us to be extra sensitive, we allowed their bad reactions to affect our state of mind Whatever caused us to feel bad, they are all still our feelings. And we can do something about shifting them – and shift them we must!, Because it is in doing so that we begin to feel empowered and in control of our life. Understanding our feelings, and why we react in ineffective ways is empowering. Unmet Expectations: We often think others think like us, that their focus is where ours is, and that they place the same level of importance on the subject at hand that we do. People do not; nor can they read our mind. Many of our issues with others are the result of bad communication, ineffective communication, or a lack of communication. People don't usually want to make us feel bad or disappoint us; they simply don't realize they are doing so. They may feel and navigate life very differently we do. No matter our differences, we all want to feel good and have peace in our life. And this not only looks different to us all, but we all also go about seeking it in different ways. Being Disappointed: When promises are broken, or what we expect of another does [...]

Understanding Our Feelings, Emotions, and Reactions2021-04-16T20:13:26+00:00

What Would Love Do? February 2023, Newsletter #56

2023-02-21T05:23:54+00:00

What Would Love Do? About Ourselves – and Regarding Others This text is from my February 2023 Newsletter Message. Sign Up to Receive Future Ones or Read Past Ones.  ?How we perceive and internalize what happens to us – dictates how we will feel afterwards ?How we respond to disappointments, misunderstandings, and others’ unwanted or aggressive attitudes or behaviors – dictates the atmosphere afterwards ?How we deal with unexpected or unwanted situations – dictates how satisfactorily they will be resolved And it Is How Much Love We Have for Ourselves that dictates how we perceive and internalize, how we respond, how we deal with situations – and how much we can express love to others – and out into the world. Self-Love Self-love means that we are accepting, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to ourselves – we are basically kind to ourselves. When we come from a place of love, we think, speak, act, and react from a place of love – and empowerment. Focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves and others is uplifting and empowering. Focusing on the negative aspects of ourselves and others is deflating and disempowering.  And it is from this place of empowerment that we can be accepting, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to others – we can basically be kind to those around us. Ensure Your Thoughts, Words, and Reactions Align with Self-Love Self-love requires being conscious and aware of what you are letting into your mind and life – and what you are putting out into the world. When we think, speak, react, and act unconsciously, we are at the beck call of Unconscious Influences. Based on unresolved past hurts and pains that we project into the present, these influences cause us to feel, react, and behave in habitual and protective ways that have no bearing on what is currently happening. This unconscious way of dealing with life and others causes unwarranted anger, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and conflicts. To get to a place of loving yourself, your thoughts, words, reactions, and behaviors must align with, ?The way you want to feel, ? How you want life to show up, and ?The kind of relationships you want to have. If you want to feel love in your life and have peace around you, you must come from a place of love – and extend Love’s Qualities to those around you. If your thoughts, words, reactions, and behaviors do not align with what you want, you have to exchange them with loving, compassionate, and forgiving ones – rather than berating yourself, complaining about a situation, or criticizing or blaming others. This is vital because how we think about ourselves and how we deal with others and situations dictates what shows up in our life and affects the quality of our relationships. Replacing negative thinking requires consciously training our minds to shift to positive thoughts about ourselves and others, and hopeful thoughts about the future. And replacing is really re-programming our habitual ways of approaching life. This article [...]

What Would Love Do? February 2023, Newsletter #562023-02-21T05:23:54+00:00

The Cavern Between You and Others – Is In Direct Relationship Between You and You – 3/3

2021-04-01T00:29:47+00:00

In part 1, I discussed how the hurts or conflicts that arise in our relationships are mostly due to Unconscious Influences  – to habitual thought and reactionary patterns that run our lives. In part 2, I discussed how our habitual thought and reactionary responses often do not get us the results we are looking for, and how they can create hurt feelings in us, and conflicts in our relationships. In this part 3, I explain how neediness and passive responses also affect us, and I sum this 3 part article up by explaining how we can become aware of – and override any conditioned unconscious responses that may bring us initial satisfaction, but do not ultimately give us the results we want or the sense of peace, happiness, and harmonious relationships we yearn for. You can read  Part 1 HERE   Part 2 HERE  But before I continue, I'd just like to mention that the main takeaway from this series is basically that: Improving our connection to our True Self improves – and deepens our connection to others. They are intertwined.  Passive Responses: Passive responses come from feeling disempowered. Although passive responses may appear to be neutral, as there are no blatant outward signs, they are very different because passive responses hold an emotional component – just like aggressive ones. Sometimes the hurts, feelings, disappointments, or perceived injustices are not voiced at all, while at other times they are, but are tinged with so much emotion and/or neediness that the other individual turns a blind ear. In both cases, we are not heard. Either way, the emotions are internalized affecting both the individual and the relationship. These internalizations harm us because buried emotions add another layer to the cavern between “us and us,” and our connection to our True Self is further weakened. This article is based on my books, “Your Journey to Peace … ” and “Why We Are the Way We Are” both are available in print and e-book from Amazon. Link to About Books       Link to Amazon. Passive responses harm the relationship because as our true feelings are not voiced (or heard) we have not addressed the hurt or disappointment we feel, and we remain inwardly angry towards the other for not understanding or taking into consideration our feelings, or seeing our viewpoint. And if we are do try to make ourselves heard but are ineffective, before we approach the subject again, reflecting on our approach last time and possibly adjusting it could help us getting heard this time. We can ask ourselves: Are we being needy – only thinking about our needs and perspective? Are we negative – only focusing on what is wrong or may go wrong? Are we overly emotional – crying at any perceived slight or criticism? Could we be acting passive-aggressively – sighing or putting on a sad face rather than sharing our thoughts or feelings? Whether we elect these attitudes because we don’t like to speak our mind, are unable to articulate or [...]

The Cavern Between You and Others – Is In Direct Relationship Between You and You – 3/32021-04-01T00:29:47+00:00

Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, such as … (Book 3 – Winter 2023-24

2023-06-27T17:28:29+00:00

(You can return to Journey's blog page here ) Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, such as Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, Neediness, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness ... ... is your guide - that helps you Overcome what is Keeping you Unhappy, Frustrated, in Mediocrity, or in Conflict with Others, by ... Explaining that the Path to a happy, peaceful, empowered, and conflict-free life requires that you see life and situations through a clear lens and others as who they really are - a lens unmarred by Unconscious Influences. Showing You that When You See Life and others through that clearer lens, you no longer bring echoes of the past into the present - echoes that caused you to feel bad, take things personally, think or act in disempower ways, or create disharmony with others by your reactions. Guiding You to Incorporate the Two Elements Needed to overcome the Unconscious Influences that run your life - without your consent - and keep you unhappy, in mediocrity, or in constant conflict with others. Firstly, you must ensure you are connected to the love, power, and wisdom of your True Self  – connected to your essence – who you are at our core. Secondly, you must dismantle any Unconscious Influences that are in the way of you accessing the connection. 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋 Other Books in this "Our Journeys to Peace Series" (To read more in detail about Overcome ... scroll down) Book 1 of  'Our Journeys to Peace ' Series - Why We Are the Way We Are - Published. See Book Covers at End Upcoming Books About Book 2 - Relationship Intelligence, Choose Your Ideal Partner, Improve Your Current Relationship, Heal Your Family Relationships  (Title was Relationships in an Evolving World) -  due out Fall 2023. About Book 3 - Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, such as Anger Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness- due out Winter 2023-24 To stay updated for when these become available, Sign-up for my Newsletter 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋 Overcome  Your Unconscious Influences  …  🦋Recaps concepts from Book 1, Why We Are the Way We Are, which helps you understand why people behave in the ways they do 🦋Offers deeper insight into why you may feel stuck in certain areas of your life 🦋 Guides you HOW to get unstuck 🦋Helps you to understand WHY you feel hurt, get angry, are constantly frustrated, and tend to blame others for your unhappiness - and for not being at your emotional beck-and-call. In this book 3 of my 'Our Journeys to Peace' series, ... you learn  how to better navigate life - so that you can have a more peaceful existence, and create more harmonious relationships. Overcome ...  shows you how to🔸 pinpoint 🔸acknowledge 🔸and override any attitudes or habitual patterns of behaviors or reactions – conscious or unconscious - you may unknowingly fall prey to - that are holding you back from ... ... becoming your happiest, most empowered, Best Self - in all areas of your life - including being able to create harmonious [...]

Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, such as … (Book 3 – Winter 2023-242023-06-27T17:28:29+00:00

Attaining Peaceful Honesty

2023-03-29T02:30:02+00:00

Most of us have at least encountered moments of peace and even pure bliss. Some of us feel peaceful most of the time. Others of us vacillate between feeling peaceful and being worried, stressed, or even fearful. While others of us can rarely access feeling peaceful – never mind feel blissful. Whenever we experience life from a peaceful place, we are living connected to our soul – to our True Self. Connected to our soul, we are in touch with our emotional world. Peaceful Honesty is a concept from my first book, Your Journey to Peace ..., Connected to our True Self we are in touch with our emotional world and are open, honest, and fearless. We are authentic. We have no need to hide our feelings, desires, dreams, hurts, pains, or fears. Nor do we feel the need to defend, react, or attack. We trust life and the insights that come to us. Disconnected from our True Self and our honest feelings and emotions we cannot tap into feelings of peacefulness, as we are living life at a surface level – and at the beck and call of our Unconscious Influences. Any negative or hurtful experiences we are still holding onto or any from our past we that we keep buried influence how we approach life.  Unconscious Influences cause us to live mind-centered and from a place of fear, suspiciousness, and protectionism. Living mind and fear-centered, we are disconnected from our TRUE feelings – and are afraid to show – or even acknowledge our vulnerabilities.  being mind-centered causes us to bring echoes of the past into present circumstances. These echoes of the past created stories in our minds about how life should be and how others should be towards us. We then create expectations based on these stories that have nothing to do with what is happening in the present. We may be afraid to show our vulnerabilities, but they come out anyway in covert ways – by our reactions and behaviors. We, therefore, navigate life from a closed, limited, superficial, reactionary, defensive, and dishonest place. To access that feeling of Peaceful Honesty, we must be open and able to express our fears and vulnerabilities. Once we acknowledge, look at, and work through the real cause of our current anxieties, disappointments, or anger and we clear away the cobwebs from our past that are causing these, our fears dissipate and we open the door to living in Peaceful Honesty. Peaceful Honesty The term Peaceful Honesty came to me one morning about 10 years ago, as I awoke with an intensely peaceful feeling. It was as though every breath I took that morning went deep down into the core of my being. For years I had worked on acknowledging, accessing, and releasing much of my old, buried hurts and feelings. By the time this feeling of Peaceful Honesty came upon me that morning, I had unraveled many layers that lay between me and my True Self, and the peace that was lying beneath them started [...]

Attaining Peaceful Honesty2023-03-29T02:30:02+00:00

The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear

2022-02-15T05:03:25+00:00

All thoughts, attitudes, and actions stem from either love or from fear. What we are feeling and how we are being has its basis either in love, or in fear. All unease and negative outward expressions are based on some sort of fear. From the highest perspective there is only love! Everything else stems from fear.  The underlying fears within us surface - one way or another - in the many negative or unproductive ways we deal with life. This concept is so hard to hear and even harder to believe. Our mind just cannot wrap itself around the idea that “I am angry because of a fear.” Of course, we think NO WAY! I am angry because he/she said/did this to me. However, if we peel back the layers of why we are angry, it boils down to some type of fear. (My Worksheet: Connecting the Dots can help us link what we are feeling or what is causing unwanted reactions - to a fear we may not be aware of.  A printout copy is available from my book). This blog article is based on concepts in my books:   About My Books   Why We Are the Way We Are; Your Journey to Peace ...   About My Books (You will also find information on this link for my 2 upcoming books: 1) Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, like Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness"  - due out early 2022."Relationship Intelligence ... " due out Spring 2022. To stay updated,  Sign-Up for my free monthly Newsletter ??? Our positive feelings and attitudes come from the love we feel within ourselves and from our being connected to our True Self and aligned with the love it embodies. Our negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions are based on fears amassed from the impressions and interpretations we have gathered from our life experiences now buried in our Emotional Bodies and played out through our Unconscious Influences. These fears need a voice and are usually released in dysfunctional ways as we project them out into the world. Below, Illustration 4 shows some of the aspects of love, and Illustration 5 shows some aspects of fear. Love All the joy and passion that we feel and the harmony that manifests in our lives, and all the other positive attitudes (many shown in illustration 3) stem from love. We are able to bring these about because we are connected to the spark that we emanated from. There is a memory of that spark within all of us, and it is easily accessible - as long as we have not erected roadblocks to squelch the connection. In positive, loving people, that connection can show up in either overt or covert ways, depending on their personalities. Even when the connection is stifled, as was in my case, it can still be accessed with external reminders. A baby’s smile, a spectacular sunset, the abandonment that arises in us from the exhilaration of an extreme sport, or the passion that [...]

The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear2022-02-15T05:03:25+00:00

The Indigenous ‘Secret of Enough’ – Part 1/2

2023-06-27T16:13:41+00:00

Even though there is still much need and poverty in the world, there is enough for all of us – to survive, to live with dignity, and even to thrive. We just have to use what our Planet has bequeathed to us wisely. Our ancient societies lived balanced lives. Our physical, emotional, and spiritual lives were in balance. And we understood the Concept of Enough.  Most native people worldwide, and other groups like the Mennonites, live off the land, free of most unnecessary material possessions. Links to 2 other associated blog posts are at the end I also offer a variety of Writing Services. The Indigenous peoples believe the earth will provide them with the basic necessities, and they take only what they really need to survive. Most still adhere to the concept of enough.  They love and revere the Planet and understand our deep connection to it. They appreciate that it nourishes us with water, air, and food: it supports us, and they understand that maintaining the purity of these is crucial. The Indigenous people around the world recognize the Planet as a gift from our Creator and that every molecule on it lives and breathes. Embedded in their histories is the belief that we are all its stewards. Throughout the world, most native peoples understand and maintain a reciprocal connection with Gaia. This connection is their spirituality. What is enough? Enough is different for everyone. Most of us in the Western world do want some luxuries and modern commodities and some of these can be supported by Mother Nature (if we are wise about it), but many of us have gone overboard. In The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight Thom Hartmann reminds us that our current society lives under the myth that “if some stuff will make you happy, then twice as much stuff will make you twice as happy, and ten times as much will make you ten times as happy, and so on, into infinity.” (1) This - and all my articles/blog posts are based on concepts in my book:  Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science.  And although greed has been around for eons, it has only recently extended to such abusive actions towards our Planet as to threaten her (and thereby our) very survival. Where did this current greed come from? In his essay, “The World of Wonder” in Spiritual Ecology, Thomas Berry explains that in North America this attitude of acquiring grew as a result of our lack of embracing or understanding the concept of “Earth-based spirituality” when we first came here from Europe. Barry reminds us that not only did the Indigenous people understand the relationship between heaven, earth, and its people, evidenced by their rituals and ceremonies to evoke the powers of the Universe/Mother Nature, most ancient cultures did as well. He also tells us that the pillars in India, China, Greece, Egypt, and Rome “were established to delineate a sacred center which provided a point of [...]

The Indigenous ‘Secret of Enough’ – Part 1/22023-06-27T16:13:41+00:00

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