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Becoming our Best Self

🎈Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 2022

2022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

Individuals – and our planet are on an upward evolutionary trajectory. We are reaching the pinnacle of our evolution. Up until recently, and for eons, we were in survival mode – concerned about our Physical and Safety needs: the bottom two rungs of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (See list of levels below). This is my July 2022 Newsletter Message. You can sign-up or read past messages HERE Maslow's basic premise in his hierarchy of needs is that we must satisfy the needs on one rung before we can concern ourselves with the needs on the next rung. We Have Stepped Off the 2nd Rung of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Starting in the last century, we have been moving past the everyday concerns of our physical and safety needs noted on the bottom two rungs. And as our natural impulse is grow, evolve, and better ourselves, we have been seeking more satisfaction and meaning in our lives. This impulse to grow is not just for ourselves, but extended out into the world. All my Writing is Based on Concepts in My Books 🎈I also offer a variety of writing services See My Writing Services Page (You can also find links to related posts at the end) We are starting to feel inspired to be fair, compassionate, and understanding of others, help the disenfranchised, be more considerate of our world's animals, and be gentler towards the planet. Just like us, our planet is a living, breathing organism. She is our home. Our mother. Our individual evolutions and that of the planet are related and intertwined. The Indigenous people of the world have always known this. We would be wise to listen to their take on our connection to Mother Earth and how to look after our home🌞 Satisfying Our Needs of the Top Levels of Maslow's Hierarchy Most of us are now living to satisfy the needs of one – or more than one rung – on of the top three levels of Maslow's pyramid. 🎈Level 1:  Our Physiological Needs 🎈 Level 2: Our Safety Needs 🎈Level 3: Loving/Belonging 🎈Level 4: Esteem 🎈 Level 5: Self-actualization Although we don't move fully into the next level until the current one is completely satisfied, many of the elements in the top three rungs are intertwined. This is why we can attempt to satisfy some of the needs on all three levels simultaneously. As we manage and arrange our lives and look for satisfaction and meaning, we may be attempting to satisfy our needs on, 🎈 Level 3: Loving/Belonging. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to meet the needs noted on this level – to become more loving and able to create a sense of belonging with others and within society. Life will be giving us opportunities – and challenging us to help us satisfy the need for love and belonging. 🎈Level 4: Esteem. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to satisfy the needs noted [...]

🎈Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 20222022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

Relationships: As We Evolve Our Relationships Improve – Part 1/3

2022-07-30T03:34:06+00:00

Relationships are the vehicle that best allows us to work out our issues. Our pains and fears. Our neediness. Our aggression. Our protective devices. It is where we most play out our reactionary or passive styles. This is especially true in our familial and couple relationships This article is based on ch. 5 "Relationships" in Your Journey to Peace ... Our Couple Relationships What most of us look for in our intimate relationships is companionship, and for the other to love, help, and support us in life.  In our younger days, we may look for the right person to build a family with.  We may also look for a partner to offer us security. And from a human perspective, this is all fine. However, from a higher, spiritual perspective, the purpose of all our relationships is for soul growth: to connect more fully to our True Self - so that we can live life coming from a place of LOVE. In fact, all our interactions with others offer us opportunities to come from that place of love: to offer the qualities of love to others.  (See my post The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear. The link is also at the end. Because of the intimacy required, our relationships are the best vehicle to work through our unprocessed hurts and pains from our past. In our day-to-day life, any  Unconscious Influences we may hold, like neediness, defensiveness, or aggressive, controlling, or passive tendencies. naturally arise. It is unprocessed hurts and pains from our past that caused us to create these Unconscious Influences to protect our hearts and psyches. These, along with our individual personalities, differing ways of approaching life, and the various defensive and protective mechanisms we created to protect our hearts and psyches are what creates hurt feelings in us and conflicts with others. Our couple relationships also often hold expectations that cannot be met. And our communication skills are often weak. With presumed, unvoiced, or misunderstood expectations and poor communication we may get hurt feelings or react badly in frustration, and our unconscious, habitual responses rear their ugly head, and instead of coming from a place of love and understanding, we unknowingly invite conflict into our relationships. Our relationships are actually set up to trigger our Unconscious Influences - by others pushing our buttons. This is why our relationships are often so difficult! Unconscious Influence create havoc in our relationships. They cause us to navigate life from a place of fear, protectionism, defensiveness, and suspiciousness. We are overly sensitive and prone to blame to other for how we feel and for not understanding us. The emotional instability and feelings of disempowerment created from past unhealed wounds or conflicting messages we received about love, create ineffective, habitual patterns of negative reactions and behaviors that cause hurt feelings for us and conflicts with others. Our unaddressed wounds get triggered in our communications with others as we erroneously bring echoes of past hurts or fears into present issues or situations with others. However, our sensitivities are [...]

Relationships: As We Evolve Our Relationships Improve – Part 1/32022-07-30T03:34:06+00:00

What Would Love Do?

2022-08-01T02:25:50+00:00

What Would Love Do? is a concept I came across when studying A Course in Miracles. We can ask What Would Love Do? regarding ourselves, others, and situations. Our responses to what happens to us, to situations with others, or to issues that crop up are what dictate how we will feel once whatever is happening is past. 💚 If we come from a place of love – and express love’s qualities (understanding, compassion, etc., there is a link below to my post on Love's Qualities) we will feel better. Calmer. And we will be able to deal with anything that needs our attention with more clarity. We will get on our day feeling light. 💚 If we allow our mind to focus on the negativity of it all:  he/she did – didn’t do xyz, it’s not fair, or this should not have happened and anger or frustration take over, or we resort to judgment, blame, or revenge - or any type of aggression we will carry the dense energy of this with us throughout the day. We are only ever coming from a place of Love, or a place of Fear. Read my related post, the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of  Fear.  If we want to better ourselves - or to feel better, we must approach life differently than we were. In my past and before I started doing personal development work (I didn't even know that term). I just wanted to find peace in my life. A feeling had started to grow in me that there was something wrong with the picture of my life -  of how I was navigating life. That it was not others - but me - who were causing my unhappiness and frustrations.  Not me-me - but that somehow I was missing the mark. And so, my journey to peace (the name and themes of my books) began. Slowly, I began to realize that my frustrations and what I was feeling were not about the others - what they were or weren't doing. It was all coming from within me. I learned that my perceptions of others and situations were incorrect - and that I brought past hurts, feelings, biases, and beliefs into present situations.   From these echoes of the past and their beliefs and biases, I created protection mechanisms, and default ways of responding to life followed. I call these Our Unconscious Influences (see below for info on my upcoming book 2, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences ... in my "Our Journeys to Peace' Series). Based on what I experienced or witnessed when growing up, I started to understand that I projected my fears of what was or what might happen onto the present.  I allowed actions and innocent remarks to echo in my mind as proof that I would be criticized, wronged, stepped-on, and/or disempowered - just like my mother and many women of the 50's generation were. All my Articles / Blog Posts are based on my books. About My [...]

What Would Love Do?2022-08-01T02:25:50+00:00

Attaining Peaceful Honesty

2022-05-26T12:55:19+00:00

Most of us have at least encountered moments of peace and even pure bliss. Some of us feel peaceful most of the time. Others of us vacillate between feeling peaceful and being worried, stressed, or even fearful. While others of us can rarely access feeling peaceful – never mind feel blissful. Whenever we experience life from a peaceful place, we are living connected to our soul – to our True Self. Connected to our soul, we are in touch with our emotional world. Peaceful Honesty is a concept from my first book, Your Journey to Peace ..., Connected to our True Self and in touch with our emotional world, we are open, honest, and fearless. We are authentic. We have no need to hide our feelings, desires, dreams, hurts, pains, or fears. Nor do we feel the need to defend, react, or attack. We trust life and the insights that come to us. When disconnected from our True Self and our honest feelings and emotions we cannot tap into feelings of peacefulness, as we are living life at a surface level - and at the beck and call of our Unconscious Influences. Any negative or hurtful experiences we are still holding onto or any from our past we that we keep buried influence how we approach life. Unconscious Influences cause us to live mind-centered and from a place of fear, suspiciousness, and protectionism. Living mind and fear-centered, we are disconnected from Our true feelings – afraid to show – or even acknowledge our vulnerabilities. Being mind-centered causes us to bring echoes of the past into present circumstances. These echoes of the past created stories in our minds about how life should be and how others should be towards us. We then create expectations based on these stories that have nothing to do with what is happening in the present. We may be afraid to show our vulnerabilities, but they come out anyway in covert ways – by our reactions and behaviors. We, therefore, navigate life from a closed, limited, superficial, reactionary, defensive, and dishonest place. To access that feeling of Peaceful Honesty, we must be open and able to express our fears and vulnerabilities. Once we acknowledge, look at, and work through the real cause of our current anxieties, disappointments, or anger and we clear away the cobwebs from our past that are causing these, our fears dissipate and we open the door to living in Peaceful Honesty. Peaceful Honesty The term Peaceful Honesty came to me one morning about 10 years ago, as I awoke with an intensely peaceful feeling. It was as though every breath I took that morning went deep down into the core of my being. For years I had worked on acknowledging, accessing, and releasing much of my old, buried hurts and feelings. By the time this feeling of Peaceful Honesty came upon me that morning, I had unraveled many layers that lay between me and my True Self, and the peace that was lying beneath them started to [...]

Attaining Peaceful Honesty2022-05-26T12:55:19+00:00

The World Needs Our Gentle Touch – Part 2/3

2022-06-24T20:40:52+00:00

In Part 1, I discussed how we all emerged from love, and at our core we are all still connected to that love, but that many of us need a rekindling of the love that is inherent within all of us. Read Part 1  This is why we need to be gentle with each other - and why the world needs our gentle touch - especially these days as our world and lives have been disrupted to a degree we were not prepared for, and that has stressed us and changed our lives so completely. (This is an article/post I wrote a couple of years ago and repost from time to time - tweaked to reflect the world's current situations). Because of what we inherited from Humanity’s history, most of us have, or have had, a weak connection to our True Self – to the love we all hold within our hearts, and therefore have been unable to experience the full benefit of this connection – or to express it fully out into the world. We have all come from the same history of what Humanity perpetuated, but were unaware we were carrying forward baggage that created attitudes and behaviors that either hurt our self or others. Most of us have experienced hurts, pains, or unwelcome repercussions or circumstances – either from generational or cultural influences, our own bad choices, or at the hands of others. And because of this, many of us have been the perpetrators and hurt others. So, we need to forgive ourselves for what we have done, or not done – to ourselves and to others. Being Generous; Offering Gentleness; Extending Love And we need to be generous to each other and extend true and authentic forgiveness to those who have acted badly towards us, others, or the world. We need to offer the gentle hand of reconciliation – an olive branch – whenever possible. Being the recipient of a gentle gesture can open our hearts so that we too can forgive. When we are offered gentleness, it helps us to heal the wounds of hurts or unwanted circumstance that caused us to be disconnected to the love within. The more we offer gentleness and other qualities of love to others, the faster we will all be able to reconnect to the love within and embrace its benefits for ourselves. The more of us who extend love out into the world, the faster we will be able to create the world we all want. As well as offering gentleness to people, we also have to offer it to the animals on our planet. 💜💜💜💜💜 All my Writing is based on my books: Cover Images Below About My Published and Upcoming Books I also offer a variety of   Writing Services 💜💜💜💜💜 The Animals Who Share the Planet With Us Animals share the planet with us to help us, to feed us, to offer us love, and help us grow spiritually. But just like with us, many have [...]

The World Needs Our Gentle Touch – Part 2/32022-06-24T20:40:52+00:00

💜“I Choose Me” A Mantra to Help Us Overcome …. March 2022 Newsletter

2022-04-25T18:59:30+00:00

I Choose Me is the theme of my  March 2022 Newsletter Message.  Sign up to Receive or to Read Past Messages 💜💜💜💜💜 To be happy, balanced, in control of our emotions, and feel empowered in life it is vital that we consciously choose what will support us maintaining – or bringing about – our sense of peace, happiness, contentment, balance, and empowerment. Some of us almost always innately choose what will support our peace and happiness:  We are adept at choosing ourselves. Others of us fall into disempowering attitudes and behaviors amidst change, disappointment, or when life gets difficult, and we no longer choose what will support us being our best self. We allow outside forces to dictate our life. There are many ways we can Choose Me. And there is more than one level of Choosing Me.  The is a Surface Level of “Choosing Me;” There is also a More Subtle Level of “Choosing Me” The Surface Level of “Choosing Me”  Most of us have now learned that to be happy and contented we must … 🔹Do what WE want in life – not what others or society decides is right for us. 🔹Say NO – when what others or society expects from us stresses or depletes us 🔹Align ourselves with positive and supportive people and uplifting activities so that we maintain or attain a positive mind frame 🔹Remove ourselves – from others who are negative or embrace drama that mess with our energy/vibration – and from situations out of our control that bring us down. *** ***(We can still act to help others, but to stay positive and light-hearted we must do so without blame, judgment, or drama). 💜💜💜💜💜 This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, such as Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness (Book 2 of my ‘Our Journeys to Peace’ Series) – due out Summer 2022.  About My Books And as well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer a variety of   Writing Services 💜💜💜💜💜 The More Subtle Level of “Choosing Me” We all have days when a quick-fix-pick-me-up is just what the doctor ordered. Small indulgences like: 🔹Spoiling ourselves with that special desert 🔹Cozying up all day on the couch with a book 🔹Splurging on an extravagant meal 🔹Going on a shopping spree 🔹 Binging a tv show  🔹Having an all-night gaming session 🔹Soaking leisurely in the bathtub Spoiling ourselves just a little is often all we need to improve our mood when we have had a bad day or a disappointment. It is empowering. Of course, turning to meditation, prayer – or any spiritual practice, talking to a loved one, or spending extra time in nature is the healthiest way to deal with unexpected disappointing events. Still, spoiling ourselves – just a little is usually harmless and can be a simple pick-me-up. Spoiling our self – giving our self a little love – when something unwanted has happened makes us feel good. Plus, it allows our unconscious to work in its subtle ways to heal the negative energy attached to whatever has happened. And as long as this is a one-day (or [...]

💜“I Choose Me” A Mantra to Help Us Overcome …. March 2022 Newsletter2022-04-25T18:59:30+00:00

Individuals – and the World Need Our Gentle Touch – Part 1/3

2022-06-24T19:49:43+00:00

We are now living in a time of huge social change that is affecting all of us – and in various ways. And we are all feeling the fatigue and stress of the past few years. No matter our thoughts and beliefs about it all, our best option is always to be loving, hopeful, compassionate – and forgiving towards others – and the world ... because ... We – and the World Need a Gentle Touch! None of us have liked the restrictions of the past few years that have been put upon us. Some of us have made peace with them. Others of us feel they are a huge imposition on our human rights and freedoms – and they are. However, they are attempts to keep people safe. And most of us are doing a magnificent job staying positive, compassionate, and loving – at least most of the time 🌞 There are good arguments for both sides. Either way, time has heightened the frustrations and stress levels for all of us. Many are baffled or angered with the divisiveness this has brought to the forefront – especially with the protests now going on (in Canada). Many are concerned on the disruptions. Others feel the protests are necessary so that individual freedoms are respected. Most of Us Are Managing Our Emotions – Most of the Time. Most of us are doing a magnificent job staying positive and being kind and compassionate towards others. However,  as frustration and fatigue has grown, some of us may have become more reactive, or even grumpy and argumentative. And some people may even have become distant as being reclusive feels more comfortable to them. NO matter the circumstances of the day, our beliefs, and how well or badly we have acted or reacted these past few years – we are all only ever just doing our best to deal with how life has, or is now, playing out. As well as my spiritual / personal development writing, I also offer writing services.  See my Writing Services Page It helps us, others, and Humanity to extend kind gestures – general goodness, which may often just be a nod or smile towards all who cross our path – even those we disagree with. I see this happening much of the time, but it is easy to fall into the "poor me" head down rut these days and forget to extend to others– especially when we are tired of it all and feeling frustrated by what is now going on. The thing is, when we feel a little down we often forget that when we extend any of the expressions of love, we feel better. It raises our mood. It's a win-win. This is a post from a few years ago that I re-post from time to time – with a little tweaking to address the current energy and situation. It's a reminder that no matter what is happening around us, it's a time to be ... 💜especially kind,  gentle, loving, and compassionate towards everyone we [...]

Individuals – and the World Need Our Gentle Touch – Part 1/32022-06-24T19:49:43+00:00

Understanding Our Emotional Links With Others

2020-11-11T13:47:09+00:00

There is an invisible link between everyone we have an emotional connection with. This is such a wonderful thing – especially these days, as more than ever we are drawing on established links with our friends and loved ones so that we can stay connected in this time of forced alienation. Our emotions have a drawing power. Our thoughts have a drawing power. They both draw others to us emotionally. The closer we are to another emotionally, the stronger the link. The more we engage emotionally with someone, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and the ins and outs of our life, the more we anchor in that emotional connection. And as we continue to share with one another in the upcoming months, we will further strengthen our emotional links. We don’t necessarily have to engage with another to strengthen our connection to them. Going over past events or emotional experiences with them in our mind – be they good or bad, strengthens our emotional link to the other. So does simply thinking about them. Depending on what we are thinking about and the health of the relationship, this may be good for us, or emotionally bad for us. They may feel it, or they may not. Below is a little practice "Cutting an Emotional Link with Another" to use if we are having trouble doing so on our own. This blog article is based on my books - published and upc0ming  Your Journey to Peace ... (2016) Why We Are the Way We Are (2018) Overcoming: Anger, Frustrations,  Hurt Feelings, ,Neediness, Blaming Others for Our Unhappiness (Dec 2020) Relationships in an Evolving World (March 2020) About My Books here    To stay Updated, Sign-up for my Newsletter  here The stronger the emotional link is between two people the more easily we can draw the other in and affect them emotionally. How this all plays out depends on our innate natures, our attitudes, and how we view and navigate life. Some people are emotional by nature: they live through their feelings, and easily express them. They can sometimes pick up on others feelings and emotions. Others are less emotional: they may feel, but do not express their emotions easily or regularly. They are less likely to pick up on others feelings or emotions. Some of us thrive on closeness: we need to share our feelings, emotions, and what is happening in our life with those close to us. Others of us keep things to our self: we have no need to share our inner world with others, nor do we feel the need to tell others what is going on in our life. Many people are positive and light-hearted: they feel positive, their outlook on life is light and positive, they aim to feel good - and they make those around them feel good. Others are stuck in negativity they are heavy-hearted: they have a negative and/or dark outlook on life and issues, may regularly focus on the dramas of life, and making [...]

Understanding Our Emotional Links With Others2020-11-11T13:47:09+00:00

The Unfolding of Our Life Purpose

2022-02-15T05:10:07+00:00

From the highest perspective, our life purpose is to connect more fully to our True Self – to connect more fully to love. Connected to this love, we can feel love more deeply and can more easily express the Qualities of Love towards others and out into the world. Whether through a soul urging or we simply want to better ourselves, once we begin on our path to self-improvement we connect more fully to our True Self – and to the love it holds. We feel better, more peaceful, and become more empowered. We create more harmony around us. And our relationships improve. The Cavern between Us and Others Is in Direct Relationship  to the Cavern between Us and Our True Self  The path to bettering ourselves and becoming our Best Self is twofold” We must embrace what soothes and invigorates our soul – which allows the love within our hearts to grow. We must remove any blocks to the love that is held within our hearts. To soothe and invigorate our soul, we may start to meditate, do yoga, view, listen to, or partake in uplifting material, embrace what brings us joy, or spend time (or more time) in the comforting arms of nature, To remove the blocks to love, we must recognize, acknowledge, and address any Unconscious Influences that may be keeping us from accessing the love within. Connecting more deeply with love, we start to live life from a higher perspective. Our existence takes on more meaning, and our life purpose starts to unfold. Our ideas of how to live life start to shift. Being attuned to our True Self and keeping our minds open will allow us to hear what our soul is whispering to us and keep us open to new possibilities. And often, the path our life now takes and how our life purpose unfolds comes as a big surprise. Finding Our Life's Purposes Is Invigorating and Makes Us Feel Alive I spent most of my life having jobs to just get by or to keep myself sane from the perceived drudgery of being a housewife. As I moved along my journey to peace (the theme of all my writings) and started to let go of the Unconscious Influences that were holding me back from being my Best Self, my life purpose began to unfold. What I learned yearned for expression. And as I put pen to paper, words flowed out of me, and a new spark arose in me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself writing a book – especially one of a spiritual/self-help nature. My first book, Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science, was born out of my personal journey to peace – and all I learned along the way While writing Your Journey to Peace …, I had periods of great excitement as I realized I could share what I have learned on my journey to peace – and possibly help [...]

The Unfolding of Our Life Purpose2022-02-15T05:10:07+00:00

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message

2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

Feeling contented helps us weather life's ups and downs more easily. 📣Sign-up for My Newsletter - and  read my past messages at:  Sign up for My Newsletter 📣 I also offer a variety of writing services, see My Writing Services Page There are many ways to get to a place of feeling contented, with the most obvious one being from externals, such as ... - Getting the job, reaching a goal, or becoming successful. These give us a sense of accomplishment, bringing feelings of contentment. - Moving into a house, finding the perfect partner, or starting a family also brings feelings of contentment, however … For Most of Us, Feelings of Contentment  that Come from Outside of Ourselves Is Fleeting  🦄 🦄  🦄 Contentment That Comes from Within – From the Depths of Our Being – Has More Staying Power Once the newness of what we accomplished or have gotten has worn off, we seem to need to reach for the next thing. The wanting, satisfying, and wanting again trap humans fall prey to is one of the major reasons that true and lasting contentment eludes us. 🦄 🦄  🦄 All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on My Upcoming Books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences…, and Relationship Intelligence … 🦄 🦄  🦄 This month's message was inspired by a friend's recent question on a Facebook post – and my answer. Traci asked: "What is one good thing you are experiencing even with the times we are in?" My answer (which came to me quickly) was: "I'm feeling even more contented than usual – even though I've had some tough times lately, and I feel blessed for all those who helped me get there. And I realize that there is nothing much else that beats the feeling of being content." Since that day, I've been pondering where that sense of contentment came from. I realized that it came from a combination of: 🦄 *Loving the Holiday Season 🦄 **Making peace with recent disappointments 🦄 ***Appreciating what was now good 🦄 ****And partaking in three powerful meditations with Allison Carol Blackburn just before and between Christmas and New Year. 🦄 🦄  🦄 🦄 *Loving the Holiday Season (or any other Celebration) – is an easy one because … Embracing the Spirit of Celebrations Heightens Our Senses Allowing Contentment to Grow in Our Being 🦄 **Making Peace with Disappointments (*or True Forgiveness as taught by A Course in Miracles. See below for a fuller explanation). I had been feeling disappointed that my extended family could not attend my usual brunch (it wasn't the numbers but more distance and the many commitments the young adults had). Slowly, as the week went on, I started to make peace with this, until suddenly, it felt ok. With the acceptance that they were all growing up and had their own lives, a huge shift occurred in me, and I realized [...]

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

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