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Boundaries

Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, Allowing for Reflection

2021-11-05T12:48:49+00:00

As we start to get back into the swing of Fall activities (at least those of us in the Northern hemisphere are), let us remember to not get so caught up in all the various commitments and/or responsibilities that come along with this time of the year that may cause us to become stressed and overly busy. And although we have missed out on many of the fun things we were used to doing, many of us have also enjoyed the slowing down –and used the time to rejuvenate our mind, body, and soul.  And if you feel bored or listless, remember how uplifting feeling relaxed and "just being" is. "Just being" offers our mind, body, and soul the energetic space to recalibrate - without us even being aware of it. And it puts us in a state where we can reflect. Modern life has often led us to ignore the reflective and feeling parts of ourselves. Our forced slowdowns this past year and a half have given us more time than usual to be calmer, more reflective, and opportunities to "just be." Links to 3 companion posts are at the end. To be happy and feel good we need to attend to our body, mind, emotions, and spiritual connection – and it is the subtler parts of ourselves that nurture these. The subtler parts of ourselves are more in tune with love – with a connection to our True Selves – to others – and everything around us. They are more based on our true reality. Being in tune with love and connected to our true reality, we navigate life adhering to love's qualities: kindness, sharing, compassion, acceptance, equality, unity, etc. We feel empowered – not in a striving for power way (based on a false strength) but from a place of inner strength (based on our true reality). This allows us to embrace the concept of me-and-you.  Humanity’s history has been based on false realities. Of separate motivations grounded in fear, greed, competition – on me-against-you. Fighting for our survival became paramount in our existence. We were reactive, rather than responsive. Although today most of us do not have to fight for our physical survival, we have maintained the competitiveness and reactive states of that survival mode. This, along with the disconnect from our True Self, has created stress and uneasiness in our beings. This has translated into the business and getting ahead ways of navigating life that has become the norm for many of us. The reactive way of navigating life that we inherited from past generations causes us to aggressively approach situations  – often bringing in past issues or being influenced by unaddressed emotions from our past – rather than responding calmly and only addressing what is currently happening. Our business, competitiveness, focus on getting ahead, and our reactive states have left no room to connect to our subtler and reflective natures – that are so important to our sense of well-being. This article/blog post is based [...]

Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, Allowing for Reflection2021-11-05T12:48:49+00:00

Relationships: Partnering Up Consciously – Separating Consciously 2/3

2022-09-14T00:18:39+00:00

The more consciousness we bring to our dating, the better they turn out for us.  The more consciousness we bring to our current relationships, the more easily they flourish. And the more evolved and conscious we become - aware of our wants, needs, and expectations - as well as any ways of being that may be detracting us from getting what we want from our dating or relationships, the more confident and empowered we become. Being more conscious allows us to more easily trust our hearts - that they are showing us a true picture when choosing a spouse or life partner (or even friends or a business partner) - instead of one created from denial or neediness. Consciousness brings maturity to dating, and to relationships. Read Part 1     Part 3 The more evolved and conscious we become, the less we will have to be wary of our unconscious influences (hurt feelings, neediness, aggressive or overly-passive reactions, etc.) luring us into hurtful or chaotic situations. Nor will we have to be so vigilant at continuously examining our emotions, desires, or motives. Neither will we have to be so cautious of others’ motives. When we bring consciousness and the maturity it holds to our dating and relationships, we are be working at higher vibration capacities. Our radars become better attuned to the vibrations of others, and if something is off we will cue into it more easily. This article is based on  Ch 5, “Relationships” in my book, Your Journey to Peace …  and will be expanded upon in Relationship Intelligence;  Choose Your Ideal Partner, Improve Your Couple Relationship, Heal Your Family Relationships - Spring 2022.     About My Books  To stay updated, Sign-up for my free monthly publication 🔸 🔸 🔸 🔸🔸 My passion writing is in personal development, and spirituality genres, and   I am also a copywriter and offer various writing services to businesses and personal development and spiritual communities.  My Writing Services Page The more conscious we become, the greater our connection to our True Self, and the more we feel guided towards partners based on true soul pairings where both can thrive. Where there is equality, acceptance, and forgiveness - instead of confusion, hot then cold attitudes, jealousy, possessiveness, or flip-flopping about where the dating or relationship will go. In conscious relationships, we encourage each other to be the best we can be. And because our strength and self-confidence come from within, we are not invested in changing our partners or making them acquiesce to our desires. We also understand that our partner gets his or her strength and guidance from their True Self, and if that guidance is calling them to move on from the relationship we will not be so inclined towards drama, anger, revenge, or the plethora of negative responses breaking up has caused in the past. As we uncover and work through unconscious influences that affect how we think, react, and act, we will choose our partners, spouses, and life partners more consciously. We will become stronger in [...]

Relationships: Partnering Up Consciously – Separating Consciously 2/32022-09-14T00:18:39+00:00

Our Boundaries: Understanding Unhealthy Boundaries – Part 3/4

2021-07-27T22:18:14+00:00

Having healthy boundaries helps us be conscious and intentional, leading us to feel – and be empowered. I once read that,      🔹Having healthy boundaries is like windows and doors that we open and close, letting only those we want inside.      🔹Having unhealthy boundaries is like having all our windows and doors wide open where anybody can come through or closed off where nobody can come in. In Part 1, I discussed the importance of healthy boundaries – especially in times of stress, change, and uncertainty – like what we have recently been experiencing. In Part 2, I discussed the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, what causes us to adopt either, and their advantages and disadvantages. See HERE to read Part 1    HERE for Part 2 Unhealthy boundaries cause issues in all areas of our life. Unhealthy boundaries are either be too wide open or too closed off. Both come from a place of low self-worth, and they create havoc in our emotional world – and our relationships. Closed boundaries keep us emotionally distanced from others, and the range of possibilities life may offer us. Wide-open boundaries keep us too reliant on others or outside influences for our happiness and sense of self-worth. If too closed, we must open our boundaries a little so that we can live an emotionally satisfying life and are open to all of life's possibilities If too open, we must close our boundaries up a little, so we can live an empowered life relying on our strengths and sense of inner-self for our peace and happiness. (These blog posts are all based on my books. About My Books and purchase info is found here  (a list of my books is at the end) I am also a Copywriter and offer writing services. About my Writing Services see here) Recognizing Unhealthy Boundaries To address weak/unhealthy boundaries, we first look to what is causing us angst in our lives and our relationships. Here are a few clues that we have weak/unhealthy boundaries:     🔹We often become frustrated, get hurt feelings, or are angered when others do not acquiesce to our wants, desires, requests, or expectations.     🔹We do not feel loved or valued in our relationships     🔹We do not feel appreciated for all that we do for others     🔹We always seem to have the issues crop up with people     🔹We choose friends or partners and then become disenchanted with them     🔹We feel that others do not understand us     🔹We blame others for our unhappiness     🔹 We feel stuck in life and cannot seem to move forward. It Is More About Us than the Other Although we may feel that our hurts, pains, disappointments, and issues are because of the other person or that circumstances are always going again us, it is more of a reflection of us – and what we allowed – or didn't allow because … Whenever we rely on what another [...]

Our Boundaries: Understanding Unhealthy Boundaries – Part 3/42021-07-27T22:18:14+00:00

Our Boundaries: Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries – Part 2/4

2021-07-23T06:16:24+00:00

In Part 1 of this series on our boundaries, I discussed the importance of healthy boundaries – especially in times of stress, change, and uncertainty – like what we have recently been experiencing. I pointed out that this past year, some of us have been able to further open our boundaries and help others, while others of us have had to close our boundaries to maintain our sense of balance and equilibrium. And that it is ALL Good! See HERE to read Part 1 Here in this Part 2, I discuss the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, and how each affects us. Healthy Boundaries Healthy boundaries are open enough to let the good in, while closed enough to detract what is not good for us. They allow us to be open enough to those around us to let in what feels good, supportive, uplifting – and to what empowers us, while still being closed enough to avoid the undesirable, like criticism and blame, and what may make us feel bad, unsupported, put upon – or feel disempowered any way. With healthy boundaries, we know where we begin, and the other ends. And we ensure those around us know where we begin, and where they end. When reasonable and healthy boundaries are being respected, there are no blurred lines between what is comfortable – physically and emotionally – and what is not. When around others, we either feel normal, comfortable, and safe. Or we do not. With healthy boundaries, we innately know when to engage with others, and when to disengage we recognize what our responsibility is towards others – emotionally, physically, and psychically we understand – and adhere to what our comfort level is with individuals we sidestep – or withdraw from drama and from uncomfortable or inappropriate emotional entanglements we know when to say NO to unreasonable requests we recognize what is inappropriate for us to engage in or what will stress us– and we adhere to that internal guidance and we know – and respect our energy levels. It is our confidence, self-esteem, and ability to trust ourselves that influence our ability to create healthy boundaries. This confidence ensures we do not allow others to, suffocate us emotionally bombard us lure us into their arguments or dramas expect more than is appropriate – given the relationship or situation. Healthy boundaries come out of a sense of confidence and self-esteem. We innately know who to trust – and who not to trust – with our words, feelings, emotions, time, energy output, ideas, etc. We just sense it. With healthy boundaries, we also trust our ability to relate appropriately to others. We are confident enough to make requests and express our self fully with people – without overstepping their boundaries. (These blog posts are all based on my books. About My Books and purchase info is found here  (a list of my books is at the end) I am also a copywriter and offer writing services. About my Writing Services [...]

Our Boundaries: Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries – Part 2/42021-07-23T06:16:24+00:00

Our Boundaries: How They Can Shift In Times of Stress – Part 1/4

2021-07-23T06:15:12+00:00

Healthy boundaries allow us to preserve our individualism while sharing our lives with others. Maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to our sense of well-being. The health and strength of our boundaries are vital in allowing for easy flowing and healthy relationships with those in our lives, and pleasant experiences with the people we run into as we go about our days. This article is based on my books. They all focus on some aspect of "Our Journeys to Peace." Links to About Books is here When reasonable and healthy boundaries are being respected, there are no blurred lines between what is comfortable for us – physically and emotionally – and what is not. When around others, we either feel normal, comfortable, and safe. Or we do not. We don’t engage with people who criticize us. Suffocate us. Emotionally bombard us. Nor do we allow others to take advantage of us. Healthy boundaries set the groundwork for feeling comfortable around others and having satisfying give-and-take relationships. ~  With unhealthy boundaries, we are often frustrated and disappointed in our communications with others, as well as in our relationships in general. ~ Unhealthy boundaries are either too closed or too wide open. People with healthy boundaries are confident and well-balanced. They know themselves. And who or what they can deal with – without negative repercussions. Healthy boundaries act as sort of a protection mechanism, although confident and well-balanced people don’t really need protection. Their confidence and sense of self guide them to make good choices. We All Handle Life and Stress Differently We all have different energy levels, emotional strengths, abilities to handle change and stress, tendency and capacity to give, and response levels to those in need – emotionally or physically. For many of us, much of this has recently been taxed. I think we all feel the need for a nice long vacation.😎 At the same time, there is way more need around us than ever before. We have all been thrown for a loop, and we have all reacted in different ways. Some of us have been greatly affected, while others of us have taken it all more in stride. And some of us have even appreciated the extra quiet time. If we have been affected, we must ensure we remain healthy and emotionally balanced – even if that means reigning in activities or commitments to others. For those of us who have managed it all more easily, we may have been able to help others get through this past year. Being of service and helping others can feel wonderful and be very fulfilling. For others of us, we have needed all of our strength to look after only our self, as it has been a daily struggle to just stay afloat. And some of us have needed lots of help to get through it all. Thank goodness for the many angels on earth who had the extra energy to give and came to our rescue. 🌈 This pandemic has caused many of us to have [...]

Our Boundaries: How They Can Shift In Times of Stress – Part 1/42021-07-23T06:15:12+00:00

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