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Feeling Love

Relationships: As We Evolve Our Relationships Improve – Part 1/3

2022-07-30T03:34:06+00:00

Relationships are the vehicle that best allows us to work out our issues. Our pains and fears. Our neediness. Our aggression. Our protective devices. It is where we most play out our reactionary or passive styles. This is especially true in our familial and couple relationships This article is based on ch. 5 "Relationships" in Your Journey to Peace ... Our Couple Relationships What most of us look for in our intimate relationships is companionship, and for the other to love, help, and support us in life.  In our younger days, we may look for the right person to build a family with.  We may also look for a partner to offer us security. And from a human perspective, this is all fine. However, from a higher, spiritual perspective, the purpose of all our relationships is for soul growth: to connect more fully to our True Self - so that we can live life coming from a place of LOVE. In fact, all our interactions with others offer us opportunities to come from that place of love: to offer the qualities of love to others.  (See my post The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear. The link is also at the end. Because of the intimacy required, our relationships are the best vehicle to work through our unprocessed hurts and pains from our past. In our day-to-day life, any  Unconscious Influences we may hold, like neediness, defensiveness, or aggressive, controlling, or passive tendencies. naturally arise. It is unprocessed hurts and pains from our past that caused us to create these Unconscious Influences to protect our hearts and psyches. These, along with our individual personalities, differing ways of approaching life, and the various defensive and protective mechanisms we created to protect our hearts and psyches are what creates hurt feelings in us and conflicts with others. Our couple relationships also often hold expectations that cannot be met. And our communication skills are often weak. With presumed, unvoiced, or misunderstood expectations and poor communication we may get hurt feelings or react badly in frustration, and our unconscious, habitual responses rear their ugly head, and instead of coming from a place of love and understanding, we unknowingly invite conflict into our relationships. Our relationships are actually set up to trigger our Unconscious Influences - by others pushing our buttons. This is why our relationships are often so difficult! Unconscious Influence create havoc in our relationships. They cause us to navigate life from a place of fear, protectionism, defensiveness, and suspiciousness. We are overly sensitive and prone to blame to other for how we feel and for not understanding us. The emotional instability and feelings of disempowerment created from past unhealed wounds or conflicting messages we received about love, create ineffective, habitual patterns of negative reactions and behaviors that cause hurt feelings for us and conflicts with others. Our unaddressed wounds get triggered in our communications with others as we erroneously bring echoes of past hurts or fears into present issues or situations with others. However, our sensitivities are [...]

Relationships: As We Evolve Our Relationships Improve – Part 1/32022-07-30T03:34:06+00:00

Loving – Instead of Missing What Was

2021-05-19T18:09:37+00:00

Spring brings with it the promise of brighter, freer, and easy breezy days. However, this year that promise does not hold all it usually does. And even though we can see a light at the end of the tunnel, our patience may be waning, our nerves frayed a little, and our tempers raw. The continued restrictions, lack of freedom to do as we want, and reduced contact with our loved ones – are so counterintuitive to our sense of well-being.  And although we know we will shortly have more freedoms than recently, we also know that the free-as-a-bird easy-breezy feeling we all long for is still a way off, and is very tentative.  (This is a repost from last April, tweaked a bit to reflect this year's reality🌺 ). So, as we move through the Spring and possibly still feel the heaviness of the restrictions and long for light-and-breezy gatherings with loved ones, remembering what we have loved – and dream about what will come, helps keep love alive in our heart and a sense of lightness in our being. Even while missing the touch of our loved ones or longing for outings and regular get-togethers with friends and family, there are ways to help waylay the sadness, keep our spirits up, and our connection to them alive in us Life is ever-changing. With its ebbs and flows, things and people come into our lives and go out of our life. Circumstances change. It is human nature to miss what was – especially what we loved and were comfortable with. However, it is more helpful to us that we love what was, rather than miss what was. Remembering what was with love creates loving feelings within us. Loving feelings dispel sadness, longing, and loneliness. They create expansion in our being. When we live from an expanded place, we are connected to Universal love. Connected to Universal love, we more easily find contentment and happiness with whatever we are doing. Appreciation for what is. Our sense of belonging comes mainly from this connection; not so much from others or circumstances. Missing what was creates negative feelings within us. Our consciousness reads missing as lack. As despair – void of love, hope, and appreciation. This creates contraction in our being. When we live from a contracted place, we rely mainly on our human emotions for our contentment and happiness, where sadness, longing, and loneliness can easily thrive. Move to Loving What Was – from Missing What Was. Bring into your heart the feeling of what you miss created within Revel in the feeling. Hugging yourself – or a pillow help to create the feeling. Smile about it. Write about it. Bring to mind the details. The sights. The sounds. The smells. Dig out old pictures and lovingly gaze at them, embrace them, and hold them to your heart. Do, or bring to mind, whatever creates that positive and loving feeling you remember about what you miss. The more we connect to the feeling what [...]

Loving – Instead of Missing What Was2021-05-19T18:09:37+00:00

I Have Loved

2021-09-16T20:06:01+00:00

All Love We Feel Comes from Within Us. If We have Ever Loved – Anybody or Anything, We Can Recreate those Loving Feelings. Whatever love we have ever felt – whether for a child, lover, family member, or a pet – or anything that evoked a sense of love within us like our home, a walk, our garden, art, music, the sunset, or the exhilaration of a sport – the feeling came from within us, even though it was activated by something outside of us. If we have ever felt a deep sense of contentment – this feeling also came from within us, even though it may have been activated by outside circumstances that caused us to feel satisfied. If We Have Ever Felt Love Activated by Externals, We Can Feel Love from Within Our Self Some people actually live life feeling love all the time. However, for most of us, it is triggered by someone, something, or from a fond memory. Still, knowing/remembering that we have loved – that we have the capacity to feel love is a great comfort. Lately, it has been for me. To keep emotionally above board throughout the pandemic I upped my meditations practices. And since I use mostly guided meditations (I’m simply too hyper to meditate quietly on my own; I need assistance to get me in a quiet state 😊), I have discovered some new ones. One of these has been Louise Hay’s morning meditation, which focuses mainly on appreciation. About halfway through the 25 minutes, we are asked to spend a few minutes appreciating the people, things, and experiences we now have, or have had, in our life. Here is the link to Louise's meditation. (These blog posts are all based on my books. About My Books and purchase info is found here  (a list of my books is at the end) I am also a copywriter and offer writing services. About my Writing Services see here) Over time, my appreciation turned into remembering fondly; then it turned into really feeling the love for what I have, or have had – for people, things, and experiences in my life that brings or has brought me joy. At some point, I realized that I Have Really Loved – and have gotten pleasure from so much in my life. I LOVED having children – the fun of it all; I no longer remember any of the hard parts. I have loved my homes. I loved my dance classes, and I still love to dance. I love to paint. I have loved hopping on my bicycle at the end of the day and driving along the Lakeshore. Cooking for my family and hosting family/friend gatherings has always brought me great pleasure. I have loved all my gardens – creating them and enjoying them, and I now love my balcony and window boxes. I love waking up in the morning and looking out the window – whether rainy, cloudy, or sunny. Sitting in my solarium in [...]

I Have Loved2021-09-16T20:06:01+00:00

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message

2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

This post is taken from my December 2021 Newsletter Message. (Sign up to receive my monthly messages - and to read my past ones is below, as is the link to My Writing Services) The December theme, Creating Loving Feelings, was from an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Love Foundation, for which I received an honorable mention😊. I tweaked it a little to reflect the Holiday Season and the impact the current state of the world may be having on us and our ability to feel joy. 🎈🎈🎈 Most of us aspire to feel good, be positive, and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we cannot feel love in our hearts – at least not enough to be joyful, happy, and contented, or loving towards others. Even if we are usually calm, loving, and are a positive person, personal stress and stresses from outside sources – like what we have recently been experiencing with the restrictions put upon us – dull our senses. Feelings of joy and happiness and our sense of aliveness may weaken. For many of us, our ability to connect to loving feelings is fragile and can easily be upset. 🎈🎈🎈 All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences..., and Relationship Intelligence ... As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer Writing Services see My Writing Services Page To stay updated on book releases (and to read my past messages) Sign up for My Newsletter 🎈🎈🎈 We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, at some point in humanity's history, negativity arose. As this played out, our connection to positive and uplifting ways of experiencing and expressing life weakened. As time passed, harmful and disempowering ways of approaching life and others became the norm: our default position. Because of What We Experienced, or Were Exposed to in the Past, Our Connection to Loving Feelings May Be Weak. or Even Blocked 🎈Some of us were victims of how the negativity played out in others. As they abused, criticized, or belittled us, or were unsupportive of us emotionally, mentally, or physically, our hearts hardened, and we unconsciously erected protective and defensive mechanisms to protect our hearts and emotional world. 🎈Others of us inherited the negative ways of being from our families and cultures. We learned to view the world through a lens of judgment, biases, and competition: to battle rather than be compassionate and cooperative. To be suspicious of others different than us. Whatever caused us to disconnect from loving feelings, the protective and defensive mechanisms we erected, or any judgment, biases, and competitive ways of approaching life we adopted, habitual reactions and limiting beliefs [...]

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 2021

2021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

Our ultimate purpose is to return to love.*  And as we start to see others and life through the eyes of love, we can  … 🔸Overcome – and effectively deal with our issues and challenging situations 🔸No longer focus the differences we hold with others, 🔸Make peace with situations around us we disagree with. *A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson, was one of the first books that opened my eyes to the depths that we can perceive others – and situations through the eyes of love. We emerged from love. We were created out of love. We ARE love. And our purpose is to return to love. Our world is a classroom in that journey back to fully embracing love – in all its forms – with everyone, everything, and all situations. 🔸🔸🔸 My passion is writing in the personal development and spirituality genres. I am also a copywriter and offer various writing services to businesses and personal development and spiritual communities.  My Writing Services Page Whether the Garden of Eden was real or metaphoric, it is clear that we once had a connection to unconditional love, but at some point, we lost it. Over time, Humanity's ways of dealing with others and life shifted to fear-based. We inherited fear-based concepts, ideas, perceptions, reactions, and habits from our past. These became ingrained in our DNA and developed into our current default ways of navigating the world. Many qualities encompass us feeling and showing love, and there are many qualities we express when we come from a place of fear. See my post: the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear  (The links to all my related blog posts are also at the end). Fear-based ways of approaching life limit our connection to – and outward expressions of unconditional love. Coming from this constricted place, we may be reactive or emotionally distant, hurting those around us.  When hurt, our default may be that we become defensive and over-reactive, or we become protective of our hearts and shut down. Coming from a place of love we exude light.  Coming from a place of fear we exude darkness.                  The Masters came to lead us out of the "darkness" or "our sleeping state, but we were too stuck in our ways to understand or embrace their messages – at least enough for them to become the norm. It is now time for Humanity to come out of the darkness into the light: To awaken to embracing the love we are at our core and extend that love to others. Moving Beyond How Humanity Has Navigated the World Influenced by what we have been taught and shown, people are only ever doing what they think they need to do to feel good or safe, or do what they think is best, right, good, or necessary. We are all on different legs of our Journey to Peace (my 1st book😊) to coming out of the darkness and awakening to seeing [...]

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 20212021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

Newsletter #36, Dec. 2020, Feeling Blessed: I Have Loved Ones Who Usually Grace My Table

2021-02-06T02:31:29+00:00

My wish for you is that however you celebrate this Holiday season, that you can feel the love and spirit of it – even though our usual ways of preparing for and celebrating it is, and will be, greatly altered from what we are used to. (This was sent out Dec 20th, but I was only able to post here today, so my apologies if some of it seems outdated now;  the sentiments still remain :) Sign up to my newsletter here Link is also below). Myself, I’m focusing on feeling blessed because I do have loved ones nearby who I would be celebrating Christmas with, and will feel comforted that my son and his family who live far away are safe, doing ok, and have each other. I also have a few creative ideas to help me feel close to my family, and that will also help keep the spirit of the season alive in me. Sadly, not everyone does have loved ones to see during the Holiday season. Others do, but they live very far away and cannot ever get together, while some people are estranged from family members and never see them. Those of us who do have loved ones we usually celebrate with are truly blessed. Focusing on this, and getting creative in ways that help us  feel close to them, will help get us override any sadness or loneliness that may arise in us this Holiday season. This year we are all being called to dig deeper to feel the full spirit of the season. Our usual traditions will be altered, as well as our usual gatherings. Year after year, these bring a magical and mystical feeling to the season, and they reconnect us to loved ones in a special and spirited way no other time can. However, traditions and gatherings only create a framework for the magical feelings of the season to arise in us. The feelings actually belong to us. We all have the capacity to create wonderful feelings within us, and the warm feelings the Holidays bring with it are no exception. (My recent posts, I Have Loved, and Loving - Instead of Missing What Was, follow and expand on these themes. See HERE for I Have Loved, and for Loving - Instead of Missing What Was see HERE  Links also at end of message). To create the special and magical feelings our usual traditions and gatherings give us, we can: Bring to mind past celebrations/gatherings where we felt the love, connection, and spirit of the season, and focus on the feelings these created in us. Those feelings come from within us, and we can recreate them. So does dreaming of wonderful future gatherings. Both of these uplift us. Missing our loved ones, or focusing on what was or should be, depresses us. It is also helpful to let go of “the ideas of how things were – and should be,” Becoming more flexible in our ideas around how the Holidays should play out, helps us to [...]

Newsletter #36, Dec. 2020, Feeling Blessed: I Have Loved Ones Who Usually Grace My Table2021-02-06T02:31:29+00:00

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