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What Would Love Do? February 2023, Newsletter #56

2023-02-21T05:23:54+00:00

What Would Love Do? About Ourselves – and Regarding Others This text is from my February 2023 Newsletter Message. Sign Up to Receive Future Ones or Read Past Ones.  ?How we perceive and internalize what happens to us – dictates how we will feel afterwards ?How we respond to disappointments, misunderstandings, and others’ unwanted or aggressive attitudes or behaviors – dictates the atmosphere afterwards ?How we deal with unexpected or unwanted situations – dictates how satisfactorily they will be resolved And it Is How Much Love We Have for Ourselves that dictates how we perceive and internalize, how we respond, how we deal with situations – and how much we can express love to others – and out into the world. Self-Love Self-love means that we are accepting, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to ourselves – we are basically kind to ourselves. When we come from a place of love, we think, speak, act, and react from a place of love – and empowerment. Focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves and others is uplifting and empowering. Focusing on the negative aspects of ourselves and others is deflating and disempowering.  And it is from this place of empowerment that we can be accepting, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to others – we can basically be kind to those around us. Ensure Your Thoughts, Words, and Reactions Align with Self-Love Self-love requires being conscious and aware of what you are letting into your mind and life – and what you are putting out into the world. When we think, speak, react, and act unconsciously, we are at the beck call of Unconscious Influences. Based on unresolved past hurts and pains that we project into the present, these influences cause us to feel, react, and behave in habitual and protective ways that have no bearing on what is currently happening. This unconscious way of dealing with life and others causes unwarranted anger, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and conflicts. To get to a place of loving yourself, your thoughts, words, reactions, and behaviors must align with, ?The way you want to feel, ? How you want life to show up, and ?The kind of relationships you want to have. If you want to feel love in your life and have peace around you, you must come from a place of love – and extend Love’s Qualities to those around you. If your thoughts, words, reactions, and behaviors do not align with what you want, you have to exchange them with loving, compassionate, and forgiving ones – rather than berating yourself, complaining about a situation, or criticizing or blaming others. This is vital because how we think about ourselves and how we deal with others and situations dictates what shows up in our life and affects the quality of our relationships. Replacing negative thinking requires consciously training our minds to shift to positive thoughts about ourselves and others, and hopeful thoughts about the future. And replacing is really re-programming our habitual ways of approaching life. This article [...]

What Would Love Do? February 2023, Newsletter #562023-02-21T05:23:54+00:00

It’s Not Me–It’s You. It’s Not You–It’s Me. It’s Both. It’s Neither – Newsletter October 2021

2021-12-07T13:19:25+00:00

When we come from a place of It's Not Me – It's You, we project our fears and feelings onto the other. Ultimately, we are all responsible for the feelings that arise in us. Projecting our feelings back at the other is an attempt to deflect owning our feelings. And rather than get angry, defensive, or blame the other – it is more productive to respond calmly.  When we come from a place of It's Not You – It's Me, we internalize how the other made us feel. We are also responsible for any feelings we internalize, bury, and hide from the other. And rather than allowing our emotions to stew and later erupt or morph into passive-aggressive attitudes or behaviors, it is more productive to speak up calmly – but confidently. Later, we can look to understand why we allow another to make us feel bad and how we allow them to treat us in the way they do. (Sign-Up  to receive my Free Monthly Newsletter where I cover a variety of subjects related to our personal development). ✍?As well as my Spiritual and Personal Development Writing, I am also a Copywriter/Digital Marketing and I offer Various Writing Services. My Writing Services Page ✍? Whether we project or internalize, we take personally what the other said, did, didn’t say, didn’t do, or how they reacted or didn’t react. Don’t take things personally is one of the four agreements from ...  My Recommended Book of the Month is The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. When People Disagree or One Feels Hurt, or Gets Disappointed or Disillusioned ?It's Both of Us: because when issues arise, both are coming from a place of misalignment from love. One is unaware that they are feeling bad because of their misalignment; the other is unaware that they are behaving in hurtful ways that stem from their misalignment. And ... ?It's Neither of Us: Our true reality is that we are love. However, we are disconnected from that love. So, when issues arise, both are coming from a place of misalignment from that love – unaware that they are simply feeling bad or acting out from that place of misalignment. With this understanding that It Is Both of Us – and – It Is Neither of Us – and knowing that each is unaware that they are feeling or reacting from this place of misalignment, it is easier to understand and forgive how the other is showing up. To shift from It's Not Me–It's You – or – It's Not You–It's Me” – to – “It’s Both – It’s Neither” we must … ? Come from a place of honesty and authenticity within ourselves ? Bring the qualities of love – calmness, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and harmony to the other. And to get there, it helps to … ? Remember that we are all somewhat misaligned from our true reality – from the love we are at our core ? Recognize that you cannot always feel love and [...]

It’s Not Me–It’s You. It’s Not You–It’s Me. It’s Both. It’s Neither – Newsletter October 20212021-12-07T13:19:25+00:00

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 2022

2023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

This post is from my September 2022 Newsletter message.  Sign up or Read  my past messages. When we become frustrated, get hurt feelings, or another disappoints us, our default is often to react with anger or to lash out at the other in some way. And although we may feel some satisfaction at getting our frustrations out, reacting with anger, criticism, judgment, bullying – or any other aggressive way is counterproductive to giving us the ultimate results we are looking for. So is being passive-aggressive and burying our feelings. We all want to feel loved. And we all want to feel we matter to our loved ones. These are some of the many ways we feel the love and that our loved ones care about us. We all want to be understood, appreciated, listened to, and have our loved ones respect our wishes and do what they said they would do. When we feel frustrated or hurt and get angry at someone, one, some, or all of the above ways we might feel loved are not being met. However, rather than expressing how we truly feel in an attempt to get what we ultimately want, we lash out at the other. And often, we are not even in touch with our true feelings and have lost a connection to what we ultimately want. We are caught in a habitual pattern of reacting – and projecting our frustrations outward towards the other. Getting in Touch with Your True Feelings – and what You Ultimately Want For those of us not used to showing our true feelings – of being vulnerable, it is scary to step onto that ledge. Most of us who are used to hiding our true feelings, or no longer have a connection to them, have had our feelings trampled upon in the past to such a degree that we clammed up. We may have been bullied, belittled, shushed, or our feelings ignored. Maybe we were made to feel our feelings were unimportant or didn’t matter, or were told they were silly and childish when we expressed them. Physical or emotional abuse also makes our hearts close because our past experience tells us we cannot trust others and life. This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Relationship Intelligence ... – due out later this winter. See My Published and Upcoming Books Whatever happened in our past to turn our heart cold will cause us to keep our feelings to ourselves. Past hurts may also have caused us to unconsciously bury our feelings so that we cannot tap into them enough to find the words to express them. We unconsciously created a barrier to our heart, and its feelings nature, to protect it from further pain. When protecting our hearts, our default is to project our pain outward towards the other with anger, criticism, blame, etc. – rather than reaching out from our hearts and showing our true feelings. We are afraid to be vulnerable by putting our hearts [...]

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 20222023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

?Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 2022

2022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

Individuals – and our planet are on an upward evolutionary trajectory. We are reaching the pinnacle of our evolution. Up until recently, and for eons, we were in survival mode – concerned about our Physical and Safety needs: the bottom two rungs of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (See list of levels below). This is my July 2022 Newsletter Message. You can sign-up or read past messages HERE Maslow's basic premise in his hierarchy of needs is that we must satisfy the needs on one rung before we can concern ourselves with the needs on the next rung. We Have Stepped Off the 2nd Rung of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Starting in the last century, we have been moving past the everyday concerns of our physical and safety needs noted on the bottom two rungs. And as our natural impulse is grow, evolve, and better ourselves, we have been seeking more satisfaction and meaning in our lives. This impulse to grow is not just for ourselves, but extended out into the world. All my Writing is Based on Concepts in My Books ?I also offer a variety of writing services See My Writing Services Page (You can also find links to related posts at the end) We are starting to feel inspired to be fair, compassionate, and understanding of others, help the disenfranchised, be more considerate of our world's animals, and be gentler towards the planet. Just like us, our planet is a living, breathing organism. She is our home. Our mother. Our individual evolutions and that of the planet are related and intertwined. The Indigenous people of the world have always known this. We would be wise to listen to their take on our connection to Mother Earth and how to look after our home? Satisfying Our Needs of the Top Levels of Maslow's Hierarchy Most of us are now living to satisfy the needs of one – or more than one rung – on of the top three levels of Maslow's pyramid. ?Level 1:  Our Physiological Needs ? Level 2: Our Safety Needs ?Level 3: Loving/Belonging ?Level 4: Esteem ? Level 5: Self-actualization Although we don't move fully into the next level until the current one is completely satisfied, many of the elements in the top three rungs are intertwined. This is why we can attempt to satisfy some of the needs on all three levels simultaneously. As we manage and arrange our lives and look for satisfaction and meaning, we may be attempting to satisfy our needs on, ? Level 3: Loving/Belonging. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to meet the needs noted on this level – to become more loving and able to create a sense of belonging with others and within society. Life will be giving us opportunities – and challenging us to help us satisfy the need for love and belonging. ?Level 4: Esteem. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to satisfy the needs noted [...]

?Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 20222022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

?Understanding Our Hearts; Understanding Others’ Hearts – Newsletter #52, May 2022.

2022-08-24T16:46:14+00:00

I've created t his post from my May 2022 Newsletter message. Link to sign up or read past messages is below? ????? When we are connected to our heart we are in tune with our true feelings. In tune with our true feelings, it is easier for us to understand another’s heart and how they are feeling, being, and their motivations. How we feel affects our attitudes and behaviors and how we navigate life, how we show up in the world, and where we are coming from. Sometimes we come from a place of honesty within ourselves. Sometimes we don’t. We all have a little denial within us that we fall victim to – at least from time to time. The degree of honesty or denial within ourselves dictates whether, ?We live life coming from a place of true feelings.    Or, ?We live life coming from a place of surface feelings. ????? All my Writing is based on my published and upcoming books About My Books I also offer a variety of   Writing Services Sign-up to receive my Free Newsletter.   You can also read past ones on the link. ????? True Feelings vs Surface Feelings Feelings are complicated and many elements affect how we feel. The closer we are to our true self and the higher level of Peaceful Honesty we live from or have attained, the truer our feelings are. ?In Their Truest Form, Our Feelings Show Us an honest picture of what our heart, or soul, is whispering to us. What we feel and what we show to the world are pure and honest feelings that come from our heart. ?If Tainted, Our Feelings Show Us a false picture of what our heart is whispering to us. Our true feelings are buried and remain below the surface. How we feel and what we show to the world are surface level feelings that mask our true feelings. We are afraid to scratch below the surface.  Unconscious Influences Cause Tainted / Surface Feelings Unconscious Influences are the barriers we erect over our hearts and feelings. We erected these barriers as a result of buried, unacknowledged, and unaddressed hurts, pains, confusions, or unresolved or conflicting events from our past. When unconscious influences are at play in our life, our feelings are marred with the fears or confusion of the original event they grew out of. Unconscious influences run our lives – without our consent. Buried hurts or pains (emotional or physical) or unresolved conflicts or confusing events from our past caused us to put up protective mechanisms to protect our hearts and psyches. These protective mechanisms cause us to be reactive and they play out as negative, harmful, or bad attitudes or behaviors. We either, Turn them Inwards – and we are tentative, needy, are easily frustrated, often get hurt feelings, are passive-aggressive, disempowered, unable to make decisions, or become dysfunctional (or addictive) in some way, or Turn them Outwards – and we are critical, judgmental, controlling, defensive, blame others, or [...]

?Understanding Our Hearts; Understanding Others’ Hearts – Newsletter #52, May 2022.2022-08-24T16:46:14+00:00

Love Is A Decision – Newsletter, November 2021.

2021-12-23T13:24:59+00:00

This month's theme, Creating Loving Feelings, is from an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Love Foundation, for which I received an honorable mention?. I have tweaked it a little to reflect the Holiday Season and the impact the current state of the world may be having on us and our emotional world. Sign-up to receive my future messages - and read past ones Most of us aspire to feel good, be positive, and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we cannot feel love in our hearts – at least not enough to be joyful, happy, and contented, or loving towards others. Even if we are usually calm, loving, and are a positive person, personal stress and stresses from outside sources – like what we have recently been experiencing with the restrictions put upon us – dull our senses. Feelings of joy and happiness and our sense of aliveness may weaken. For many of us, our ability to connect to loving feelings is fragile and can easily be upset. ??? All my blog posts are from themes in my books, Your Journey to Peace …, and Why We Are the Way We Are,- which offer the reader valuable insights that can help them feel more peaceful and contented and improve their relationships - as well as my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences – due out early 2022, and Relationship Intelligence – due out Spring 2022. ??? We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, at some point in humanity's history, negativity arose. As this played out, our connection to positive and uplifting ways of experiencing and expressing life weakened. As time passed, harmful and disempowering ways of approaching life and others became the norm: our default position. Because of what we experienced, or were exposed to in the past, our connection to loving feelings may be weak. or even blocked ?Some of us were victims of how the negativity played out in others. As they abused, criticized, or belittled us, or were unsupportive of us emotionally, mentally, or physically, our hearts hardened, and we unconsciously erected protective and defensive mechanisms to protect our hearts and emotional world. ?Others of us inherited the negative ways of being from our families and cultures. We learned to view the world through a lens of judgment, biases, and competition: to battle rather than be compassionate and cooperative. To be suspicious of others different than us. Whatever caused us to disconnect from loving feelings, the protective and defensive mechanisms we erected, or any judgment, biases, and competitive ways of approaching life we adopted, habitual reactions and limiting beliefs became entrenched in our being. I call these Our Unconscious Influences. These influences that run our lives – without our conscious consent – are based on fear. They are energetically heavy [...]

Love Is A Decision – Newsletter, November 2021.2021-12-23T13:24:59+00:00

Celebrating Valentines – and Galentines Day – February 2022 Newsletter

2022-03-03T19:33:05+00:00

Welcome to my 50th Newsletter Message? I can hardly believe that I have written 50 newsletter messages. Putting them all together might just be another book?Sign-up and Read Past Messages link. And in case you are not aware, I also offer a variety of  Writing Services I recently became aware of Galentines Day (February 13th ), and the funny thing is that the theme of my 2nd newsletter (February 2018) is somewhat similar to what Galentines Day is about. February 13th Galentines Day was put forth by the show Parks and Recreation, and it was declared as a day for girls to celebrate their female friendships and support systems. My February 2018 Newsletter message suggested that on Valentine's week, we show all whom we know – and any whom we think may be lonely – some love and appreciation. Below is some of that 2018 message. You can read the entire 2018 Happy Valentines Week message in the post I created. We all want to be happy. We all want to feel loved. And we all feel good when someone SHOWS they care about us Even though Valentine's Day is known and promoted for couples expressing and showing their Love and appreciation to each other, let's use this day/week deemed for LOVE – to express love out into the world. First, let's ensure we Love ourselves. Loving ourselves – forgiving ourselves and being authentic and attentive to OUR soul's desires ups the love quotient in our being. We can then more easily be loving and generous of spirit towards others. During Valentine's week, let's spread that Love – wherever we can, with whoever crosses our path, and with those we know who would benefit from an expression of Love – or simply a little bit of attention. ❤️❤️❤️ ?All the beautiful – and delish looking sweets you see here were created by Scott Taylor – baker extraordinaire. If you are in the Montreal area, you can order your own Valentine or Galentine treats. Check out his links below to see his wonderful Birthday and Wedding creations. Scott’s Website   Scott’s Instagram  Although many of us look forward to and experience wonderful Valentine's Days, many do not – and for many reasons. With Valentines Day being so hyped up, it brings with it mixed feelings for many of us. Because Valentines is deemed for sweethearts, people who are not in a relationship – or not in a loving one, often feel bad. Valentine's week may bring a sense of loneliness for people not in a relationship – even if they usually do not feel lonely or are alone by choice. The commercial build-up is so in-your-face that it's hard not to feel any effects from all the hype. For people in a relationship who are not getting along, this week promoted for loving couples may bring with it sadness – for what is not. Let's use this day to ensure we feel good; our loved ones feel loved, and extend simple expressions of [...]

Celebrating Valentines – and Galentines Day – February 2022 Newsletter2022-03-03T19:33:05+00:00

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message

2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

This post is taken from my December 2021 Newsletter Message. (Sign up to receive my monthly messages - and to read my past ones is below, as is the link to My Writing Services) The December theme, Creating Loving Feelings, was from an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Love Foundation, for which I received an honorable mention?. I tweaked it a little to reflect the Holiday Season and the impact the current state of the world may be having on us and our ability to feel joy. ??? Most of us aspire to feel good, be positive, and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we cannot feel love in our hearts – at least not enough to be joyful, happy, and contented, or loving towards others. Even if we are usually calm, loving, and are a positive person, personal stress and stresses from outside sources – like what we have recently been experiencing with the restrictions put upon us – dull our senses. Feelings of joy and happiness and our sense of aliveness may weaken. For many of us, our ability to connect to loving feelings is fragile and can easily be upset. ??? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences..., and Relationship Intelligence ... As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer Writing Services see My Writing Services Page To stay updated on book releases (and to read my past messages) Sign up for My Newsletter ??? We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, at some point in humanity's history, negativity arose. As this played out, our connection to positive and uplifting ways of experiencing and expressing life weakened. As time passed, harmful and disempowering ways of approaching life and others became the norm: our default position. Because of What We Experienced, or Were Exposed to in the Past, Our Connection to Loving Feelings May Be Weak. or Even Blocked ?Some of us were victims of how the negativity played out in others. As they abused, criticized, or belittled us, or were unsupportive of us emotionally, mentally, or physically, our hearts hardened, and we unconsciously erected protective and defensive mechanisms to protect our hearts and emotional world. ?Others of us inherited the negative ways of being from our families and cultures. We learned to view the world through a lens of judgment, biases, and competition: to battle rather than be compassionate and cooperative. To be suspicious of others different than us. Whatever caused us to disconnect from loving feelings, the protective and defensive mechanisms we erected, or any judgment, biases, and competitive ways of approaching life we adopted, habitual reactions and limiting beliefs [...]

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message

2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

Feeling contented helps us weather life's ups and downs more easily. ?Sign-up for My Newsletter - and  read my past messages at:  Sign up for My Newsletter ? I also offer a variety of writing services, see My Writing Services Page There are many ways to get to a place of feeling contented, with the most obvious one being from externals, such as ... - Getting the job, reaching a goal, or becoming successful. These give us a sense of accomplishment, bringing feelings of contentment. - Moving into a house, finding the perfect partner, or starting a family also brings feelings of contentment, however … For Most of Us, Feelings of Contentment  that Come from Outside of Ourselves Is Fleeting  ? ?  ? Contentment That Comes from Within – From the Depths of Our Being – Has More Staying Power Once the newness of what we accomplished or have gotten has worn off, we seem to need to reach for the next thing. The wanting, satisfying, and wanting again trap humans fall prey to is one of the major reasons that true and lasting contentment eludes us. ? ?  ? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on My Upcoming Books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences…, and Relationship Intelligence … ? ?  ? This month's message was inspired by a friend's recent question on a Facebook post – and my answer. Traci asked: "What is one good thing you are experiencing even with the times we are in?" My answer (which came to me quickly) was: "I'm feeling even more contented than usual – even though I've had some tough times lately, and I feel blessed for all those who helped me get there. And I realize that there is nothing much else that beats the feeling of being content." Since that day, I've been pondering where that sense of contentment came from. I realized that it came from a combination of: ? *Loving the Holiday Season ? **Making peace with recent disappointments ? ***Appreciating what was now good ? ****And partaking in three powerful meditations with Allison Carol Blackburn just before and between Christmas and New Year. ? ?  ? ? *Loving the Holiday Season (or any other Celebration) – is an easy one because … Embracing the Spirit of Celebrations Heightens Our Senses Allowing Contentment to Grow in Our Being ? **Making Peace with Disappointments (*or True Forgiveness as taught by A Course in Miracles. See below for a fuller explanation). I had been feeling disappointed that my extended family could not attend my usual brunch (it wasn't the numbers but more distance and the many commitments the young adults had). Slowly, as the week went on, I started to make peace with this, until suddenly, it felt ok. With the acceptance that they were all growing up and had their own lives, a huge shift occurred in me, and I realized [...]

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 2021

2021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

Our ultimate purpose is to return to love.*  And as we start to see others and life through the eyes of love, we can  … ?Overcome – and effectively deal with our issues and challenging situations ?No longer focus the differences we hold with others, ?Make peace with situations around us we disagree with. *A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson, was one of the first books that opened my eyes to the depths that we can perceive others – and situations through the eyes of love. We emerged from love. We were created out of love. We ARE love. And our purpose is to return to love. Our world is a classroom in that journey back to fully embracing love – in all its forms – with everyone, everything, and all situations. ??? My passion is writing in the personal development and spirituality genres. I am also a copywriter and offer various writing services to businesses and personal development and spiritual communities.  My Writing Services Page Whether the Garden of Eden was real or metaphoric, it is clear that we once had a connection to unconditional love, but at some point, we lost it. Over time, Humanity's ways of dealing with others and life shifted to fear-based. We inherited fear-based concepts, ideas, perceptions, reactions, and habits from our past. These became ingrained in our DNA and developed into our current default ways of navigating the world. Many qualities encompass us feeling and showing love, and there are many qualities we express when we come from a place of fear. See my post: the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear  (The links to all my related blog posts are also at the end). Fear-based ways of approaching life limit our connection to – and outward expressions of unconditional love. Coming from this constricted place, we may be reactive or emotionally distant, hurting those around us.  When hurt, our default may be that we become defensive and over-reactive, or we become protective of our hearts and shut down. Coming from a place of love we exude light.  Coming from a place of fear we exude darkness.                  The Masters came to lead us out of the "darkness" or "our sleeping state, but we were too stuck in our ways to understand or embrace their messages – at least enough for them to become the norm. It is now time for Humanity to come out of the darkness into the light: To awaken to embracing the love we are at our core and extend that love to others. Moving Beyond How Humanity Has Navigated the World Influenced by what we have been taught and shown, people are only ever doing what they think they need to do to feel good or safe, or do what they think is best, right, good, or necessary. We are all on different legs of our Journey to Peace (my 1st book?) to coming out of the darkness and awakening to seeing [...]

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 20212021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

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