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Our Needs

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 2022

2023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

This post is from my September 2022 Newsletter message.  Sign up or Read  my past messages. When we become frustrated, get hurt feelings, or another disappoints us, our default is often to react with anger or to lash out at the other in some way. And although we may feel some satisfaction at getting our frustrations out, reacting with anger, criticism, judgment, bullying – or any other aggressive way is counterproductive to giving us the ultimate results we are looking for. So is being passive-aggressive and burying our feelings. We all want to feel loved. And we all want to feel we matter to our loved ones. These are some of the many ways we feel the love and that our loved ones care about us. We all want to be understood, appreciated, listened to, and have our loved ones respect our wishes and do what they said they would do. When we feel frustrated or hurt and get angry at someone, one, some, or all of the above ways we might feel loved are not being met. However, rather than expressing how we truly feel in an attempt to get what we ultimately want, we lash out at the other. And often, we are not even in touch with our true feelings and have lost a connection to what we ultimately want. We are caught in a habitual pattern of reacting – and projecting our frustrations outward towards the other. Getting in Touch with Your True Feelings – and what You Ultimately Want For those of us not used to showing our true feelings – of being vulnerable, it is scary to step onto that ledge. Most of us who are used to hiding our true feelings, or no longer have a connection to them, have had our feelings trampled upon in the past to such a degree that we clammed up. We may have been bullied, belittled, shushed, or our feelings ignored. Maybe we were made to feel our feelings were unimportant or didn’t matter, or were told they were silly and childish when we expressed them. Physical or emotional abuse also makes our hearts close because our past experience tells us we cannot trust others and life. This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Relationship Intelligence ... – due out later this winter. See My Published and Upcoming Books Whatever happened in our past to turn our heart cold will cause us to keep our feelings to ourselves. Past hurts may also have caused us to unconsciously bury our feelings so that we cannot tap into them enough to find the words to express them. We unconsciously created a barrier to our heart, and its feelings nature, to protect it from further pain. When protecting our hearts, our default is to project our pain outward towards the other with anger, criticism, blame, etc. – rather than reaching out from our hearts and showing our true feelings. We are afraid to be vulnerable by putting our hearts [...]

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 20222023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

🎈Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 2022

2022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

Individuals – and our planet are on an upward evolutionary trajectory. We are reaching the pinnacle of our evolution. Up until recently, and for eons, we were in survival mode – concerned about our Physical and Safety needs: the bottom two rungs of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (See list of levels below). This is my July 2022 Newsletter Message. You can sign-up or read past messages HERE Maslow's basic premise in his hierarchy of needs is that we must satisfy the needs on one rung before we can concern ourselves with the needs on the next rung. We Have Stepped Off the 2nd Rung of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Starting in the last century, we have been moving past the everyday concerns of our physical and safety needs noted on the bottom two rungs. And as our natural impulse is grow, evolve, and better ourselves, we have been seeking more satisfaction and meaning in our lives. This impulse to grow is not just for ourselves, but extended out into the world. All my Writing is Based on Concepts in My Books 🎈I also offer a variety of writing services See My Writing Services Page (You can also find links to related posts at the end) We are starting to feel inspired to be fair, compassionate, and understanding of others, help the disenfranchised, be more considerate of our world's animals, and be gentler towards the planet. Just like us, our planet is a living, breathing organism. She is our home. Our mother. Our individual evolutions and that of the planet are related and intertwined. The Indigenous people of the world have always known this. We would be wise to listen to their take on our connection to Mother Earth and how to look after our home🌞 Satisfying Our Needs of the Top Levels of Maslow's Hierarchy Most of us are now living to satisfy the needs of one – or more than one rung – on of the top three levels of Maslow's pyramid. 🎈Level 1:  Our Physiological Needs 🎈 Level 2: Our Safety Needs 🎈Level 3: Loving/Belonging 🎈Level 4: Esteem 🎈 Level 5: Self-actualization Although we don't move fully into the next level until the current one is completely satisfied, many of the elements in the top three rungs are intertwined. This is why we can attempt to satisfy some of the needs on all three levels simultaneously. As we manage and arrange our lives and look for satisfaction and meaning, we may be attempting to satisfy our needs on, 🎈 Level 3: Loving/Belonging. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to meet the needs noted on this level – to become more loving and able to create a sense of belonging with others and within society. Life will be giving us opportunities – and challenging us to help us satisfy the need for love and belonging. 🎈Level 4: Esteem. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to satisfy the needs noted [...]

🎈Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 20222022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

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