When we come from a place of It's Not Me – It's You, we project our fears and feelings onto the other. Ultimately, we are all responsible for the feelings that arise in us. Projecting our feelings back at the other is an attempt to deflect owning our feelings. And rather than get angry, defensive, or blame the other – it is more productive to respond calmly. When we come from a place of It's Not You – It's Me, we internalize how the other made us feel. We are also responsible for any feelings we internalize, bury, and hide from the other. And rather than allowing our emotions to stew and later erupt or morph into passive-aggressive attitudes or behaviors, it is more productive to speak up calmly – but confidently. Later, we can look to understand why we allow another to make us feel bad and how we allow them to treat us in the way they do. (Sign-Up to receive my Free Monthly Newsletter where I cover a variety of subjects related to our personal development). ✍?As well as my Spiritual and Personal Development Writing, I am also a Copywriter/Digital Marketing and I offer Various Writing Services. My Writing Services Page ✍? Whether we project or internalize, we take personally what the other said, did, didn’t say, didn’t do, or how they reacted or didn’t react. Don’t take things personally is one of the four agreements from ... My Recommended Book of the Month is The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. When People Disagree or One Feels Hurt, or Gets Disappointed or Disillusioned ?It's Both of Us: because when issues arise, both are coming from a place of misalignment from love. One is unaware that they are feeling bad because of their misalignment; the other is unaware that they are behaving in hurtful ways that stem from their misalignment. And ... ?It's Neither of Us: Our true reality is that we are love. However, we are disconnected from that love. So, when issues arise, both are coming from a place of misalignment from that love – unaware that they are simply feeling bad or acting out from that place of misalignment. With this understanding that It Is Both of Us – and – It Is Neither of Us – and knowing that each is unaware that they are feeling or reacting from this place of misalignment, it is easier to understand and forgive how the other is showing up. To shift from It's Not Me–It's You – or – It's Not You–It's Me” – to – “It’s Both – It’s Neither” we must … ? Come from a place of honesty and authenticity within ourselves ? Bring the qualities of love – calmness, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and harmony to the other. And to get there, it helps to … ? Remember that we are all somewhat misaligned from our true reality – from the love we are at our core ? Recognize that you cannot always feel love and [...]
As we start to get back into the swing of Fall activities (at least those of us in the Northern hemisphere are), let us remember to not get so caught up in all the various commitments and/or responsibilities that come along with this time of the year that may cause us to become stressed and overly busy. And although we have missed out on many of the fun things we were used to doing, many of us have also enjoyed the slowing down –and used the time to rejuvenate our mind, body, and soul. And if you feel bored or listless, remember how uplifting feeling relaxed and "just being" is. "Just being" offers our mind, body, and soul the energetic space to recalibrate - without us even being aware of it. And it puts us in a state where we can reflect. Modern life has often led us to ignore the reflective and feeling parts of ourselves. Our forced slowdowns this past year and a half have given us more time than usual to be calmer, more reflective, and opportunities to "just be." Links to 3 companion posts are at the end. To be happy and feel good we need to attend to our body, mind, emotions, and spiritual connection – and it is the subtler parts of ourselves that nurture these. The subtler parts of ourselves are more in tune with love – with a connection to our True Selves – to others – and everything around us. They are more based on our true reality. Being in tune with love and connected to our true reality, we navigate life adhering to love's qualities: kindness, sharing, compassion, acceptance, equality, unity, etc. We feel empowered – not in a striving for power way (based on a false strength) but from a place of inner strength (based on our true reality). This allows us to embrace the concept of me-and-you. Humanity’s history has been based on false realities. Of separate motivations grounded in fear, greed, competition – on me-against-you. Fighting for our survival became paramount in our existence. We were reactive, rather than responsive. Although today most of us do not have to fight for our physical survival, we have maintained the competitiveness and reactive states of that survival mode. This, along with the disconnect from our True Self, has created stress and uneasiness in our beings. This has translated into the business and getting ahead ways of navigating life that has become the norm for many of us. The reactive way of navigating life that we inherited from past generations causes us to aggressively approach situations – often bringing in past issues or being influenced by unaddressed emotions from our past – rather than responding calmly and only addressing what is currently happening. Our business, competitiveness, focus on getting ahead, and our reactive states have left no room to connect to our subtler and reflective natures – that are so important to our sense of well-being. This article/blog post is based [...]
BLACK FRIDAY BOOK SALE. 40% Savings. WAS $8.99(US) NOW $5.40(US) – for a limited time. E-book $2.99(US) Learn how to feel more peaceful and create more harmony in your life. (Reader reviews – and link to buy from Amazon are below) As you begin to understand your – and others – actions and reactions, angers, frustrations, and why you often feel bad and/or are disappointed by what another does – or doesn’t do, you pave the way to better create more harmony in your life. Reader Reviews: Why We Are the Way We Are: Buy at Amazon: My Other Book, Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science: (About my upcoming books on relationships below) Buy at Amazon: I am doing am Online Workshop Nov 30th at 7:30pm (EST on these themes. If you are interested, email me and I will send you the workshop link once the details are completed. Rosemary? firstname.lastname@example.org My upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, - due out Winter 2022-23, Relationship Intelligence – due out Spring 2023. I also offer a variety of Writing Services. Sending you peace and love on the Thanksgiving weekend?? November 25th, 2022. Rosemary ?