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Self Love

What Would Love Do?

2023-02-28T18:38:09+00:00

What Would Love Do? is a concept I came across when studying A Course in Miracles. We can ask What Would Love Do? regarding ourselves, others, and situations. Our responses to what happens to us, to situations with others, or to issues that crop up are what dictate how we will feel once whatever is happening is past. ? If we come from a place of love – and express love’s qualities (understanding, compassion, etc., there is a link below to my post on Love's Qualities) we will feel better. Calmer. And we will be able to deal with anything that needs our attention with more clarity. We will get on our day feeling light. ? If we allow our mind to focus on the negativity of it all:  he/she did – didn’t do xyz, it’s not fair, or this should not have happened and anger or frustration take over, or we resort to judgment, blame, or revenge - or any type of aggression we will carry the dense energy of this with us throughout the day. We are only ever coming from a place of Love, or a place of Fear. Read my related post, the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of  Fear.  If we want to better ourselves - or to feel better, we must approach life differently than we were. In my past and before I started doing personal development work (I didn't even know that term), I  just wanted to find peace in my life. A feeling had started to grow in me that there was something wrong with the picture of my life -  of how I was navigating life. That it was not others - but me - who were causing my unhappiness and frustrations.  Not me-me - but that somehow I was missing the mark. And so, my journey to peace (the name and themes of my books) began. Slowly, I began to realize that my frustrations and what I was feeling were not about the others - what they were or weren't doing. It was all coming from within me. I learned that my perceptions of others and situations were not reality - and that I brought past hurts, feelings, biases, and beliefs into present situations.   From these echoes of the past and their beliefs and biases, I created protection mechanisms and default ways of responding to life. I call these Our Unconscious Influences (see below for info on my upcoming book 2, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences ... in my "Our Journeys to Peace' Series). I had started to understand that based on what I experienced or witnessed when growing up, I had been projected my fears of what was or what might happen onto the present.  I allowed actions and innocent remarks to echo in my mind as proof that I would be criticized, wronged, stepped-on, and/or disempowered – just like my mother and many women of the 50’s generation were. All my Articles / Blog Posts are based on my [...]

What Would Love Do?2023-02-28T18:38:09+00:00

Love Is A Decision – Newsletter, November 2021.

2021-12-23T13:24:59+00:00

This month's theme, Creating Loving Feelings, is from an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Love Foundation, for which I received an honorable mention?. I have tweaked it a little to reflect the Holiday Season and the impact the current state of the world may be having on us and our emotional world. Sign-up to receive my future messages - and read past ones Most of us aspire to feel good, be positive, and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we cannot feel love in our hearts – at least not enough to be joyful, happy, and contented, or loving towards others. Even if we are usually calm, loving, and are a positive person, personal stress and stresses from outside sources – like what we have recently been experiencing with the restrictions put upon us – dull our senses. Feelings of joy and happiness and our sense of aliveness may weaken. For many of us, our ability to connect to loving feelings is fragile and can easily be upset. ??? All my blog posts are from themes in my books, Your Journey to Peace …, and Why We Are the Way We Are,- which offer the reader valuable insights that can help them feel more peaceful and contented and improve their relationships - as well as my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences – due out early 2022, and Relationship Intelligence – due out Spring 2022. ??? We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, at some point in humanity's history, negativity arose. As this played out, our connection to positive and uplifting ways of experiencing and expressing life weakened. As time passed, harmful and disempowering ways of approaching life and others became the norm: our default position. Because of what we experienced, or were exposed to in the past, our connection to loving feelings may be weak. or even blocked ?Some of us were victims of how the negativity played out in others. As they abused, criticized, or belittled us, or were unsupportive of us emotionally, mentally, or physically, our hearts hardened, and we unconsciously erected protective and defensive mechanisms to protect our hearts and emotional world. ?Others of us inherited the negative ways of being from our families and cultures. We learned to view the world through a lens of judgment, biases, and competition: to battle rather than be compassionate and cooperative. To be suspicious of others different than us. Whatever caused us to disconnect from loving feelings, the protective and defensive mechanisms we erected, or any judgment, biases, and competitive ways of approaching life we adopted, habitual reactions and limiting beliefs became entrenched in our being. I call these Our Unconscious Influences. These influences that run our lives – without our conscious consent – are based on fear. They are energetically heavy [...]

Love Is A Decision – Newsletter, November 2021.2021-12-23T13:24:59+00:00

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message

2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

Feeling contented helps us weather life's ups and downs more easily. ?Sign-up for My Newsletter - and  read my past messages at:  Sign up for My Newsletter ? I also offer a variety of writing services, see My Writing Services Page There are many ways to get to a place of feeling contented, with the most obvious one being from externals, such as ... - Getting the job, reaching a goal, or becoming successful. These give us a sense of accomplishment, bringing feelings of contentment. - Moving into a house, finding the perfect partner, or starting a family also brings feelings of contentment, however … For Most of Us, Feelings of Contentment  that Come from Outside of Ourselves Is Fleeting  ? ?  ? Contentment That Comes from Within – From the Depths of Our Being – Has More Staying Power Once the newness of what we accomplished or have gotten has worn off, we seem to need to reach for the next thing. The wanting, satisfying, and wanting again trap humans fall prey to is one of the major reasons that true and lasting contentment eludes us. ? ?  ? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on My Upcoming Books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences…, and Relationship Intelligence … ? ?  ? This month's message was inspired by a friend's recent question on a Facebook post – and my answer. Traci asked: "What is one good thing you are experiencing even with the times we are in?" My answer (which came to me quickly) was: "I'm feeling even more contented than usual – even though I've had some tough times lately, and I feel blessed for all those who helped me get there. And I realize that there is nothing much else that beats the feeling of being content." Since that day, I've been pondering where that sense of contentment came from. I realized that it came from a combination of: ? *Loving the Holiday Season ? **Making peace with recent disappointments ? ***Appreciating what was now good ? ****And partaking in three powerful meditations with Allison Carol Blackburn just before and between Christmas and New Year. ? ?  ? ? *Loving the Holiday Season (or any other Celebration) – is an easy one because … Embracing the Spirit of Celebrations Heightens Our Senses Allowing Contentment to Grow in Our Being ? **Making Peace with Disappointments (*or True Forgiveness as taught by A Course in Miracles. See below for a fuller explanation). I had been feeling disappointed that my extended family could not attend my usual brunch (it wasn't the numbers but more distance and the many commitments the young adults had). Slowly, as the week went on, I started to make peace with this, until suddenly, it felt ok. With the acceptance that they were all growing up and had their own lives, a huge shift occurred in me, and I realized [...]

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

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