Shifting Our Mind-set Archives

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 2022

wvlju2023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

This post is from my September 2022 Newsletter message. Sign up or Read my past messages. When we become frustrated, get hurt feelings, or another disappoints us, our default is often to react with anger or to lash out at the other in some way. And although we may feel some satisfaction at getting our frustrations out, reacting with anger, criticism, judgment, bullying – or any other aggressive way is counterproductive to giving us the ultimate results we are looking for. So is being passive-aggressive and burying our feelings. We all want to feel loved. And we all want to feel we matter to our loved ones. These are some of the many ways we feel the love and that our loved ones care about us. We all want to be understood, appreciated, listened to, and have our loved ones respect our wishes and do what they said they would do. When we feel frustrated or hurt and get angry at someone, one, some, or all of the above ways we might feel loved are not being met. However, rather than expressing how we truly feel in an attempt to get what we ultimately want, we lash out at the other. And often, we are not even in touch with our true feelings and have lost a connection to what we ultimately want. We are caught in a habitual pattern of reacting – and projecting our frustrations outward towards the other. Getting in Touch with Your True Feelings – and what You Ultimately Want For those of us not used to showing our true feelings – of being vulnerable, it is scary to step onto that ledge. Most of us who are used to hiding our true feelings, or no longer have a connection to them, have had our feelings trampled upon in the past to such a degree that we clammed up. We may have been bullied, belittled, shushed, or our feelings ignored. Maybe we were made to feel our feelings were unimportant or didn’t matter, or were told they were silly and childish when we expressed them. Physical or emotional abuse also makes our hearts close because our past experience tells us we cannot trust others and life. This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Relationship Intelligence ... – due out later this winter. See My Published and Upcoming Books Whatever happened in our past to turn our heart cold will cause us to keep our feelings to ourselves. Past hurts may also have caused us to unconsciously bury our feelings so that we cannot tap into them enough to find the words to express them. We unconsciously created a barrier to our heart, and its feelings nature, to protect it from further pain. When protecting our hearts, our default is to project our pain outward towards the other with anger, criticism, blame, etc. – rather than reaching out from our hearts and showing our true feelings. We are afraid to be vulnerable by putting our hearts [...]

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 2022wvlju2023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

?Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 2022

wvlju2022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

Individuals – and our planet are on an upward evolutionary trajectory. We are reaching the pinnacle of our evolution. Up until recently, and for eons, we were in survival mode – concerned about our Physical and Safety needs: the bottom two rungs of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (See list of levels below). This is my July 2022 Newsletter Message. You can sign-up or read past messages HERE Maslow's basic premise in his hierarchy of needs is that we must satisfy the needs on one rung before we can concern ourselves with the needs on the next rung. We Have Stepped Off the 2nd Rung of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Starting in the last century, we have been moving past the everyday concerns of our physical and safety needs noted on the bottom two rungs. And as our natural impulse is grow, evolve, and better ourselves, we have been seeking more satisfaction and meaning in our lives. This impulse to grow is not just for ourselves, but extended out into the world. All my Writing is Based on Concepts in My Books ?I also offer a variety of writing services See My Writing Services Page (You can also find links to related posts at the end) We are starting to feel inspired to be fair, compassionate, and understanding of others, help the disenfranchised, be more considerate of our world's animals, and be gentler towards the planet. Just like us, our planet is a living, breathing organism. She is our home. Our mother. Our individual evolutions and that of the planet are related and intertwined. The Indigenous people of the world have always known this. We would be wise to listen to their take on our connection to Mother Earth and how to look after our home? Satisfying Our Needs of the Top Levels of Maslow's Hierarchy Most of us are now living to satisfy the needs of one – or more than one rung – on of the top three levels of Maslow's pyramid. ?Level 1: Our Physiological Needs ? Level 2: Our Safety Needs ?Level 3: Loving/Belonging ?Level 4: Esteem ? Level 5: Self-actualization Although we don't move fully into the next level until the current one is completely satisfied, many of the elements in the top three rungs are intertwined. This is why we can attempt to satisfy some of the needs on all three levels simultaneously. As we manage and arrange our lives and look for satisfaction and meaning, we may be attempting to satisfy our needs on, ? Level 3: Loving/Belonging. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to meet the needs noted on this level – to become more loving and able to create a sense of belonging with others and within society. Life will be giving us opportunities – and challenging us to help us satisfy the need for love and belonging. ?Level 4: Esteem. We may be on our way to mastering – or struggling to satisfy the needs noted [...]

?Our Evolution and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – Newsletter Message, July 2022wvlju2022-08-04T23:06:11+00:00

The Unfolding of Our Life Purpose

wvlju2022-02-15T05:10:07+00:00

From the highest perspective, our life purpose is to connect more fully to our True Self – to connect more fully to love. Connected to this love, we can feel love more deeply and can more easily express the Qualities of Love towards others and out into the world. Whether through a soul urging or we simply want to better ourselves, once we begin on our path to self-improvement we connect more fully to our True Self – and to the love it holds. We feel better, more peaceful, and become more empowered. We create more harmony around us. And our relationships improve. The Cavern between Us and Others Is in Direct Relationship to the Cavern between Us and Our True Self The path to bettering ourselves and becoming our Best Self is twofold” We must embrace what soothes and invigorates our soul – which allows the love within our hearts to grow. We must remove any blocks to the love that is held within our hearts. To soothe and invigorate our soul, we may start to meditate, do yoga, view, listen to, or partake in uplifting material, embrace what brings us joy, or spend time (or more time) in the comforting arms of nature, To remove the blocks to love, we must recognize, acknowledge, and address any Unconscious Influences that may be keeping us from accessing the love within. Connecting more deeply with love, we start to live life from a higher perspective. Our existence takes on more meaning, and our life purpose starts to unfold. Our ideas of how to live life start to shift. Being attuned to our True Self and keeping our minds open will allow us to hear what our soul is whispering to us and keep us open to new possibilities. And often, the path our life now takes and how our life purpose unfolds comes as a big surprise. Finding Our Life's Purposes Is Invigorating and Makes Us Feel Alive I spent most of my life having jobs to just get by or to keep myself sane from the perceived drudgery of being a housewife. As I moved along my journey to peace (the theme of all my writings) and started to let go of the Unconscious Influences that were holding me back from being my Best Self, my life purpose began to unfold. What I learned yearned for expression. And as I put pen to paper, words flowed out of me, and a new spark arose in me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself writing a book – especially one of a spiritual/self-help nature. My first book, Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science, was born out of my personal journey to peace – and all I learned along the way While writing Your Journey to Peace …, I had periods of great excitement as I realized I could share what I have learned on my journey to peace – and possibly help [...]

The Unfolding of Our Life Purposewvlju2022-02-15T05:10:07+00:00

Healing Ourselves Helps Heal Others, and Our Ancestral Lineages

wvlju2022-01-21T13:42:40+00:00

Individuals and Humanity are at a point where we can no longer brush things under the rug. It is our time to lift the rug – to reveal what was buried and hidden – so that we can heal anything that is not of love – and ensure that everyone feels empowered and in control of their life and destiny. As Individuals ?The impetus to look beyond our feelings, attitudes, and behaviors is upon us – so that we can heal the wounds that cause(d) bad, ineffective, inappropriate, or hurtful attitudes and behaviors. ?We are learning the importance of – and the necessity to – stand up for ourselves: for our freedoms, beliefs, and right to live life as our hearts and souls call us to. As a Collective ?We are being forced to look at the inequalities, injustices, and cruelty we have – and still do – put upon the poorer, marginalized, and disempowered individuals and groups, and … ?We are called to make restitution. ??? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …, and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences…, and Relationship Intelligence … As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer Writing Services see My Writing Services Page To stay updated on book releases (and to read my past messages) Sign up for My Newsletter ??? In this blog post, I will focus mainly on our individual healing. I have mentioned the healing of the collective to give a fuller understanding that this inner push to heal is part of Humanity’s current evolutionary process and that the healing of the individual and the collective goes hand in hand. Healing Our Emotional Wounds Has Far-Reaching Effects We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, Humanity's past caused emotional wounds within us and we disconnected from that love. Healing our emotional wounds can be done in many ways – but they all start with acknowledgment – with looking at the conscious or Unconscious Influences that cause(d) us to feel, react, or act out of context. Acknowledging how we feel, or what we have said or done that caused us or others pain or upsets, is the 1st step to healing. Once we acknowledge we then work to remove the blocks to love - to undo the Unconscious Influences that may be keeping us from accessing the love within. To go deep enough in the healing to make impactful shifts within us, we must be brave enough to be honest with ourselves.*** There are many simple and professional ways to do this. A few that have helped me are … ?Journaling*** our thoughts, feelings, and what comes to us as we sit to write about a hurt, our feelings, or try and understand why [...]

Healing Ourselves Helps Heal Others, and Our Ancestral Lineageswvlju2022-01-21T13:42:40+00:00

Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, Allowing for Reflection

wvlju2021-11-05T12:48:49+00:00

As we start to get back into the swing of Fall activities (at least those of us in the Northern hemisphere are), let us remember to not get so caught up in all the various commitments and/or responsibilities that come along with this time of the year that may cause us to become stressed and overly busy. And although we have missed out on many of the fun things we were used to doing, many of us have also enjoyed the slowing down –and used the time to rejuvenate our mind, body, and soul. And if you feel bored or listless, remember how uplifting feeling relaxed and "just being" is. "Just being" offers our mind, body, and soul the energetic space to recalibrate - without us even being aware of it. And it puts us in a state where we can reflect. Modern life has often led us to ignore the reflective and feeling parts of ourselves. Our forced slowdowns this past year and a half have given us more time than usual to be calmer, more reflective, and opportunities to "just be." Links to 3 companion posts are at the end. To be happy and feel good we need to attend to our body, mind, emotions, and spiritual connection – and it is the subtler parts of ourselves that nurture these. The subtler parts of ourselves are more in tune with love – with a connection to our True Selves – to others – and everything around us. They are more based on our true reality. Being in tune with love and connected to our true reality, we navigate life adhering to love's qualities: kindness, sharing, compassion, acceptance, equality, unity, etc. We feel empowered – not in a striving for power way (based on a false strength) but from a place of inner strength (based on our true reality). This allows us to embrace the concept of me-and-you. Humanity’s history has been based on false realities. Of separate motivations grounded in fear, greed, competition – on me-against-you. Fighting for our survival became paramount in our existence. We were reactive, rather than responsive. Although today most of us do not have to fight for our physical survival, we have maintained the competitiveness and reactive states of that survival mode. This, along with the disconnect from our True Self, has created stress and uneasiness in our beings. This has translated into the business and getting ahead ways of navigating life that has become the norm for many of us. The reactive way of navigating life that we inherited from past generations causes us to aggressively approach situations – often bringing in past issues or being influenced by unaddressed emotions from our past – rather than responding calmly and only addressing what is currently happening. Our business, competitiveness, focus on getting ahead, and our reactive states have left no room to connect to our subtler and reflective natures – that are so important to our sense of well-being. This article/blog post is based [...]

Staying Calm, Keeping Balanced, Allowing for Reflectionwvlju2021-11-05T12:48:49+00:00

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 2021

wvlju2021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

Our ultimate purpose is to return to love.* And as we start to see others and life through the eyes of love, we can … ?Overcome – and effectively deal with our issues and challenging situations ?No longer focus the differences we hold with others, ?Make peace with situations around us we disagree with. *A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson, was one of the first books that opened my eyes to the depths that we can perceive others – and situations through the eyes of love. We emerged from love. We were created out of love. We ARE love. And our purpose is to return to love. Our world is a classroom in that journey back to fully embracing love – in all its forms – with everyone, everything, and all situations. ??? My passion is writing in the personal development and spirituality genres. I am also a copywriter and offer various writing services to businesses and personal development and spiritual communities. My Writing Services Page Whether the Garden of Eden was real or metaphoric, it is clear that we once had a connection to unconditional love, but at some point, we lost it. Over time, Humanity's ways of dealing with others and life shifted to fear-based. We inherited fear-based concepts, ideas, perceptions, reactions, and habits from our past. These became ingrained in our DNA and developed into our current default ways of navigating the world. Many qualities encompass us feeling and showing love, and there are many qualities we express when we come from a place of fear. See my post: the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear (The links to all my related blog posts are also at the end). Fear-based ways of approaching life limit our connection to – and outward expressions of unconditional love. Coming from this constricted place, we may be reactive or emotionally distant, hurting those around us. When hurt, our default may be that we become defensive and over-reactive, or we become protective of our hearts and shut down. Coming from a place of love we exude light. Coming from a place of fear we exude darkness. The Masters came to lead us out of the "darkness" or "our sleeping state, but we were too stuck in our ways to understand or embrace their messages – at least enough for them to become the norm. It is now time for Humanity to come out of the darkness into the light: To awaken to embracing the love we are at our core and extend that love to others. Moving Beyond How Humanity Has Navigated the World Influenced by what we have been taught and shown, people are only ever doing what they think they need to do to feel good or safe, or do what they think is best, right, good, or necessary. We are all on different legs of our Journey to Peace (my 1st book?) to coming out of the darkness and awakening to seeing [...]

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 2021wvlju2021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00