fbpx

Being Vulnerable

? Saying “I Love You” – December 2022 Newsletter Message

2023-02-03T22:20:29+00:00

This is from my December Monthly Newsletter Message. ????? February's Message will be " "What Would Love Do." Sign-up to Receive it. You Can Read Past Ones there too. The words I love you are very powerful. They touch the heart of the recipient. However, not everyone can say the words. They may feel love for the other, but cannot bring themselves to express it verbally. Its as if the words are stuck in their throat. Saying I love you is often learned from our birth family as it may have been normal to regularly say the words. And even for those who grew up in a family where saying I love you wasn’t the norm, we may still be able to verbally express love later in life – if we have a strong enough heart connection. The stronger our heart connection, the more we can feel love in our hearts and come from a place of love, and the easier it is to express love – in all its ways, including verbally. The More Love We Feel in Our Hearts, the Easier it Is For Us to Express Love – Including Words The purest form of saying I love you comes from our heart-space and being unafraid to be vulnerable. Saying I love you makes us vulnerable because we are opening our hearts – and the other may not reciprocate the love we are expressing. But the purest form of expressing love to another requires no reciprocation. However, most of us get hurt feelings or confused if another does not reciprocate our expressions of love. Sometimes they may not feel it, but most likely, the other has not returned the feelings because they cannot. Still, even if it feels awkward to say the words or it makes you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable, uttering them will benefit you greatly. Our Words Are Powerful. They Are Like Mantras Mantras are valuable because they anchor the meaning of the words into our being – into our heart-space. The more often we make an effort to connect to or express love, the more we connect to our heart-space. And the more we connect to our heart-space, the easier it is to express love – in all its forms. (See my blog post The Qualities of Love) Words are most powerful when felt deeply in our hearts. But even words whispered to ourselves or forced words voiced have benefits – because we are making an effort. The “fake it till you make it” concept has value. So, if you are uncomfortable saying I love you to others, there are many ways to get the energy of it in you – so that you can override any blocks to verbally expressing your love. This - and my February message are excerpts from my upcoming book, Relationship Intelligence ... – due out later this Winter. See my Published and Upcoming Books Practice saying the words when alone – and repeat them many times, ?Out loud to [...]

? Saying “I Love You” – December 2022 Newsletter Message2023-02-03T22:20:29+00:00

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 2022

2023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

This post is from my September 2022 Newsletter message.  Sign up or Read  my past messages. When we become frustrated, get hurt feelings, or another disappoints us, our default is often to react with anger or to lash out at the other in some way. And although we may feel some satisfaction at getting our frustrations out, reacting with anger, criticism, judgment, bullying – or any other aggressive way is counterproductive to giving us the ultimate results we are looking for. So is being passive-aggressive and burying our feelings. We all want to feel loved. And we all want to feel we matter to our loved ones. These are some of the many ways we feel the love and that our loved ones care about us. We all want to be understood, appreciated, listened to, and have our loved ones respect our wishes and do what they said they would do. When we feel frustrated or hurt and get angry at someone, one, some, or all of the above ways we might feel loved are not being met. However, rather than expressing how we truly feel in an attempt to get what we ultimately want, we lash out at the other. And often, we are not even in touch with our true feelings and have lost a connection to what we ultimately want. We are caught in a habitual pattern of reacting – and projecting our frustrations outward towards the other. Getting in Touch with Your True Feelings – and what You Ultimately Want For those of us not used to showing our true feelings – of being vulnerable, it is scary to step onto that ledge. Most of us who are used to hiding our true feelings, or no longer have a connection to them, have had our feelings trampled upon in the past to such a degree that we clammed up. We may have been bullied, belittled, shushed, or our feelings ignored. Maybe we were made to feel our feelings were unimportant or didn’t matter, or were told they were silly and childish when we expressed them. Physical or emotional abuse also makes our hearts close because our past experience tells us we cannot trust others and life. This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Relationship Intelligence ... – due out later this winter. See My Published and Upcoming Books Whatever happened in our past to turn our heart cold will cause us to keep our feelings to ourselves. Past hurts may also have caused us to unconsciously bury our feelings so that we cannot tap into them enough to find the words to express them. We unconsciously created a barrier to our heart, and its feelings nature, to protect it from further pain. When protecting our hearts, our default is to project our pain outward towards the other with anger, criticism, blame, etc. – rather than reaching out from our hearts and showing our true feelings. We are afraid to be vulnerable by putting our hearts [...]

Show Your Vulnerability (True Feelings) Instead of Anger, Newsletter #54, Sept 20222023-01-12T00:59:01+00:00

Title

Go to Top