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The hurts or conflicts that arise in our relationships are mostly due to Unconscious Influences that run our lives. I say mostly, because for some, conflicts with friends or in our intimate relationships are due to a mismatch, or the relationship has served its purpose and we are meant to take our cues and move on. For others, conflicts arise because one or the other is evolving more quickly, the relationship needs to shift and change to meet new circumstances, or one of the individuals is making life-altering changes that affect the relationship. When we do not heed the signals and make the necessary adjustments, compromises, do a bit of self-reflection, or seek help for a relationship that is in the throws of shifts and changes, the hurts and conflicts will continue and worsen, and both parties suffer unnecessarily. Sadly, sometimes a relationship even ends that could be saved and a family kept intact because of the inability of one or both or parties to face his or her part of its breakdown. Except for when a relationship has played out and is intended to end, we are meant to work through our hurts and conflicts with those in our lives. This is spiritual growth – and what this time in Humanity's evolution is asking of us. Because it is not by only making peace with ourselves, but with all (including people) that upsets us, or that makes us feel bad, frustrates us, or angers us, that allows  us to evolve. This article is based on my current and upcoming books, About Books HERE One of the higher purposes of relationships, whether it be with a life-partner, a sibling, a parent-child or child-parent bond, an extended family member, a friend, or even a long-term working partnership, is for the Unconscious Influences of both parties to surface – for healing. And except for the rare occasion where one party feels empowered in life and is the “light-holder” and stabilizer to the other as he or she works through a huge misalignment from their power base and feel and act from states of disempowerment, both in the relationship are usually misaligned to the same degree. These misalignments would not necessarily show up in the same way, but the degree of misalignment would be similar. Being/Feeling Empowered vs Disempowered Feeling empowered in life comes from being connected to our power base, which comes from a strong connection to our True Self – of “us-to-us.” (Our True Self is defined below, and I used the term as synonymous with Source energy, Spirit, higher Self, Creator, God, etc.). This connection gives us our confidence allowing us to reach for what we want in life, while doing so with integrity and creating harmony with others and around us. We are able to become our Best Self. (Book 2 of my new "Our Journeys to Peace' Series, Overcoming our Unconscious Influences– due out Fall 2020, helps us pave the way to becoming our Best Self. (About link [...]