Dealing With Anger Archives

The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear

wvlju2022-02-15T05:03:25+00:00

All thoughts, attitudes, and actions stem from either love or from fear. What we are feeling and how we are being has its basis either in love, or in fear. All unease and negative outward expressions are based on some sort of fear. From the highest perspective there is only love! Everything else stems from fear. The underlying fears within us surface - one way or another - in the many negative or unproductive ways we deal with life. This concept is so hard to hear and even harder to believe. Our mind just cannot wrap itself around the idea that “I am angry because of a fear.” Of course, we think NO WAY! I am angry because he/she said/did this to me. However, if we peel back the layers of why we are angry, it boils down to some type of fear. (My Worksheet: Connecting the Dots can help us link what we are feeling or what is causing unwanted reactions - to a fear we may not be aware of. A printout copy is available from my book). This blog article is based on concepts in my books: About My Books Why We Are the Way We Are; Your Journey to Peace ... About My Books (You will also find information on this link for my 2 upcoming books: 1) Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, like Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness" - due out early 2022."Relationship Intelligence ... " due out Spring 2022. To stay updated, Sign-Up for my free monthly Newsletter ??? Our positive feelings and attitudes come from the love we feel within ourselves and from our being connected to our True Self and aligned with the love it embodies. Our negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions are based on fears amassed from the impressions and interpretations we have gathered from our life experiences now buried in our Emotional Bodies and played out through our Unconscious Influences. These fears need a voice and are usually released in dysfunctional ways as we project them out into the world. Below, Illustration 4 shows some of the aspects of love, and Illustration 5 shows some aspects of fear. Love All the joy and passion that we feel and the harmony that manifests in our lives, and all the other positive attitudes (many shown in illustration 3) stem from love. We are able to bring these about because we are connected to the spark that we emanated from. There is a memory of that spark within all of us, and it is easily accessible - as long as we have not erected roadblocks to squelch the connection. In positive, loving people, that connection can show up in either overt or covert ways, depending on their personalities. Even when the connection is stifled, as was in my case, it can still be accessed with external reminders. A baby’s smile, a spectacular sunset, the abandonment that arises in us from the exhilaration of an extreme sport, or the passion that [...]

The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fearwvlju2022-02-15T05:03:25+00:00

Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to My Inner – and Outer Reactions and their Root Cause

wvlju2021-10-06T12:44:41+00:00

Negative or inappropriate reactions are the result of living on the surface level of our emotional world. We are either disconnected from our current emotions out of fear of what we may find, or we are unaware that Unconscious Influences - past emotional upsets or hurts are running our lives and causing us to feel bad or react badly. This post is a companion to my article Understanding the Unconscious Influences that Run Our Lives Having no true connection to the honesty of our feelings and the depth of our emotions, we react from unconscious emotional states that have no bearing upon others or current situations - rather than respond to what is really happening. Connecting the dots between what we are feeling and how we are reacting can help us overcome negative, inappropriate, and ineffective attitudes and behaviors. Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to My Inner - and Outer Reactions and their Root Cause ?Always take a few moments to center yourself, ask your Higher Self, God, Spirit - of any diety you adhere to join you in understanding - and overcoming what is causing you difficulties. Write out your thoughts - and what comes to you regarding what you are trying to understand and/or heal about yourself and your communications with others. Here are a few examples. You may see yourself here; if not, you'll get the idea. We are looking at the real causes of our upsets or issues with others - so that we can get to the root causes and gain more understandin- enabling us to shift to healthier ways of dealing with our feelings and reactions with others. Example # 1: I Get Hurt Feelings: He/she forgot. I feel he/she doesn’t love, value, or appreciate me. I don’t feel loved, valued, or appreciated. Connecting the Dots: (You may see yourself in some - or all of these) I feel hurt when others don't show me love, appreciation, or meet my expectations (Were your expectations voiced, or heard by the other?) I need love, appreciation, and validation from people (I feel frustrated and unloved when I don't get validated for my efforts or the love I give) Others haven’t always loved, valued, or appreciated me. ( the 1st Ah-ha moment that connects back to past feelings of being unloved or appreciated) The big Ah-ha moment: I recognize now that I am projecting the lack of love and validation that I felt in the past into present circumstances and am putting unfair expectations on those around me. As well as my personal development, self-help, and spiritual writing, I am also a copywriter and offer many types of writing services My Writing Services. Example # 2: I am impatient and fly off the handle easily: I'm always busy and have lots to do. I don't have time for anything that delays my plans. I am impatient with people who are calm. It's not my fault - I just get caught up in things. Connecting the Dots: (You may [...]

Worksheet: Connecting the Dots to My Inner – and Outer Reactions and their Root Causewvlju2021-10-06T12:44:41+00:00

Attaining Peaceful Honesty

wvlju2023-03-29T02:30:02+00:00

Most of us have at least encountered moments of peace and even pure bliss. Some of us feel peaceful most of the time. Others of us vacillate between feeling peaceful and being worried, stressed, or even fearful. While others of us can rarely access feeling peaceful – never mind feel blissful. Whenever we experience life from a peaceful place, we are living connected to our soul – to our True Self. Connected to our soul, we are in touch with our emotional world. Peaceful Honesty is a concept from my first book, Your Journey to Peace ..., Connected to our True Self we are in touch with our emotional world and are open, honest, and fearless. We are authentic. We have no need to hide our feelings, desires, dreams, hurts, pains, or fears. Nor do we feel the need to defend, react, or attack. We trust life and the insights that come to us. Disconnected from our True Self and our honest feelings and emotions we cannot tap into feelings of peacefulness, as we are living life at a surface level – and at the beck and call of our Unconscious Influences. Any negative or hurtful experiences we are still holding onto or any from our past we that we keep buried influence how we approach life. Unconscious Influences cause us to live mind-centered and from a place of fear, suspiciousness, and protectionism. Living mind and fear-centered, we are disconnected from our TRUE feelings – and are afraid to show – or even acknowledge our vulnerabilities. being mind-centered causes us to bring echoes of the past into present circumstances. These echoes of the past created stories in our minds about how life should be and how others should be towards us. We then create expectations based on these stories that have nothing to do with what is happening in the present. We may be afraid to show our vulnerabilities, but they come out anyway in covert ways – by our reactions and behaviors. We, therefore, navigate life from a closed, limited, superficial, reactionary, defensive, and dishonest place. To access that feeling of Peaceful Honesty, we must be open and able to express our fears and vulnerabilities. Once we acknowledge, look at, and work through the real cause of our current anxieties, disappointments, or anger and we clear away the cobwebs from our past that are causing these, our fears dissipate and we open the door to living in Peaceful Honesty. Peaceful Honesty The term Peaceful Honesty came to me one morning about 10 years ago, as I awoke with an intensely peaceful feeling. It was as though every breath I took that morning went deep down into the core of my being. For years I had worked on acknowledging, accessing, and releasing much of my old, buried hurts and feelings. By the time this feeling of Peaceful Honesty came upon me that morning, I had unraveled many layers that lay between me and my True Self, and the peace that was lying beneath them started [...]

Attaining Peaceful Honestywvlju2023-03-29T02:30:02+00:00

What Readers Are Saying About “Your Journey to Peace”

wvlju2023-02-07T23:22:55+00:00

Below are a few reviews from readers of Your Journey to Peace, ... my 1st published book. (See below for info on my other published book, and my upcoming books on Personal Development and Relationships. (I also offer a variety of Writing Services) You can also read What Spiritual Teachers Are Saying about Journey to Peace... and my writing in general. (Purchase links below) About My other Published - and 2023 Upcoming Books ... on Relationships and Personal Development (cover images below) ??? A Highly Insightful and Progressive Read! Anyone who wants to find healing in themselves and within their relationships should read this book [Your Journey to Peace] . Rosemary offers great insight into the way our society is going and what we can do to move progressively forward as one collective humanity. (Rachel Greeve, Amazon Canada) Highly Recommended for Anyone Striving for Personal Improvement and Higher Understanding! I found this book [Your Journey to Peace] to be an urgent and timely read. The research is highly impressive, not to mention extremely provocative and informative. At the heart of this book is a spiritual plea for introspection, not only for each reader, but for a world in need of positive change. It is highly recommended for anyone striving for personal improvement and higher understanding. (Gary W Hesketh, Amazon, USA – author of The Soul of The Messenger). ??? Insightful and Uplifting! I find this book [Your Journey to Peace] offers insightful and well-thought advice/research and I recommend it to anyone on their spiritual journey to inner peace. (Anonymous, Amazon US and UK). ??? About Your Journey to Peace Purchase Links: Amazon Barnes and Noble Indigo/Chapters (Canada) About my other book, Why We Are the Way We Are, My Upcoming Books, Relationship Intelligence - due out Winter 2022-23; Overcome Your Unconscious Influences - due out Spring 2023 ??? Rosemary???? ©Rosemary McCarthy, posted March 9, 2022 My Writing Services My Newsletter Sign Up My Facebook page. My Blog Page You can share this message as long as you include the whole post and include the copyright message and website below. ??? Copyright ©Rosemary McCarthy, March 9, 2022. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this article simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.spiritedfawnpublications.com are included. You can contact me at: rosemary@yourjourneytopeace.com. Blessings, and thank you kindly, Rosemary??? Published Upcoming early in 2023 (Sign-up for my Newsletter to stay updated)

What Readers Are Saying About “Your Journey to Peace”wvlju2023-02-07T23:22:55+00:00

What Would Love Do?

wvlju2023-02-28T18:38:09+00:00

What Would Love Do? is a concept I came across when studying A Course in Miracles. We can ask What Would Love Do? regarding ourselves, others, and situations. Our responses to what happens to us, to situations with others, or to issues that crop up are what dictate how we will feel once whatever is happening is past. ? If we come from a place of love – and express love’s qualities (understanding, compassion, etc., there is a link below to my post on Love's Qualities) we will feel better. Calmer. And we will be able to deal with anything that needs our attention with more clarity. We will get on our day feeling light. ? If we allow our mind to focus on the negativity of it all: he/she did – didn’t do xyz, it’s not fair, or this should not have happened and anger or frustration take over, or we resort to judgment, blame, or revenge - or any type of aggression we will carry the dense energy of this with us throughout the day. We are only ever coming from a place of Love, or a place of Fear. Read my related post, the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear. If we want to better ourselves - or to feel better, we must approach life differently than we were. In my past and before I started doing personal development work (I didn't even know that term), I just wanted to find peace in my life. A feeling had started to grow in me that there was something wrong with the picture of my life - of how I was navigating life. That it was not others - but me - who were causing my unhappiness and frustrations. Not me-me - but that somehow I was missing the mark. And so, my journey to peace (the name and themes of my books) began. Slowly, I began to realize that my frustrations and what I was feeling were not about the others - what they were or weren't doing. It was all coming from within me. I learned that my perceptions of others and situations were not reality - and that I brought past hurts, feelings, biases, and beliefs into present situations. From these echoes of the past and their beliefs and biases, I created protection mechanisms and default ways of responding to life. I call these Our Unconscious Influences (see below for info on my upcoming book 2, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences ... in my "Our Journeys to Peace' Series). I had started to understand that based on what I experienced or witnessed when growing up, I had been projected my fears of what was or what might happen onto the present. I allowed actions and innocent remarks to echo in my mind as proof that I would be criticized, wronged, stepped-on, and/or disempowered – just like my mother and many women of the 50’s generation were. All my Articles / Blog Posts are based on my [...]

What Would Love Do?wvlju2023-02-28T18:38:09+00:00

Healing Ourselves Helps Heal Others, and Our Ancestral Lineages

wvlju2022-01-21T13:42:40+00:00

Individuals and Humanity are at a point where we can no longer brush things under the rug. It is our time to lift the rug – to reveal what was buried and hidden – so that we can heal anything that is not of love – and ensure that everyone feels empowered and in control of their life and destiny. As Individuals ?The impetus to look beyond our feelings, attitudes, and behaviors is upon us – so that we can heal the wounds that cause(d) bad, ineffective, inappropriate, or hurtful attitudes and behaviors. ?We are learning the importance of – and the necessity to – stand up for ourselves: for our freedoms, beliefs, and right to live life as our hearts and souls call us to. As a Collective ?We are being forced to look at the inequalities, injustices, and cruelty we have – and still do – put upon the poorer, marginalized, and disempowered individuals and groups, and … ?We are called to make restitution. ??? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …, and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences…, and Relationship Intelligence … As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer Writing Services see My Writing Services Page To stay updated on book releases (and to read my past messages) Sign up for My Newsletter ??? In this blog post, I will focus mainly on our individual healing. I have mentioned the healing of the collective to give a fuller understanding that this inner push to heal is part of Humanity’s current evolutionary process and that the healing of the individual and the collective goes hand in hand. Healing Our Emotional Wounds Has Far-Reaching Effects We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, Humanity's past caused emotional wounds within us and we disconnected from that love. Healing our emotional wounds can be done in many ways – but they all start with acknowledgment – with looking at the conscious or Unconscious Influences that cause(d) us to feel, react, or act out of context. Acknowledging how we feel, or what we have said or done that caused us or others pain or upsets, is the 1st step to healing. Once we acknowledge we then work to remove the blocks to love - to undo the Unconscious Influences that may be keeping us from accessing the love within. To go deep enough in the healing to make impactful shifts within us, we must be brave enough to be honest with ourselves.*** There are many simple and professional ways to do this. A few that have helped me are … ?Journaling*** our thoughts, feelings, and what comes to us as we sit to write about a hurt, our feelings, or try and understand why [...]

Healing Ourselves Helps Heal Others, and Our Ancestral Lineageswvlju2022-01-21T13:42:40+00:00

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message

wvlju2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

This post is taken from my December 2021 Newsletter Message. (Sign up to receive my monthly messages - and to read my past ones is below, as is the link to My Writing Services) The December theme, Creating Loving Feelings, was from an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Love Foundation, for which I received an honorable mention?. I tweaked it a little to reflect the Holiday Season and the impact the current state of the world may be having on us and our ability to feel joy. ??? Most of us aspire to feel good, be positive, and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we cannot feel love in our hearts – at least not enough to be joyful, happy, and contented, or loving towards others. Even if we are usually calm, loving, and are a positive person, personal stress and stresses from outside sources – like what we have recently been experiencing with the restrictions put upon us – dull our senses. Feelings of joy and happiness and our sense of aliveness may weaken. For many of us, our ability to connect to loving feelings is fragile and can easily be upset. ??? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …, and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences..., and Relationship Intelligence ... As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer Writing Services see My Writing Services Page To stay updated on book releases (and to read my past messages) Sign up for My Newsletter ??? We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, at some point in humanity's history, negativity arose. As this played out, our connection to positive and uplifting ways of experiencing and expressing life weakened. As time passed, harmful and disempowering ways of approaching life and others became the norm: our default position. Because of What We Experienced, or Were Exposed to in the Past, Our Connection to Loving Feelings May Be Weak. or Even Blocked ?Some of us were victims of how the negativity played out in others. As they abused, criticized, or belittled us, or were unsupportive of us emotionally, mentally, or physically, our hearts hardened, and we unconsciously erected protective and defensive mechanisms to protect our hearts and emotional world. ?Others of us inherited the negative ways of being from our families and cultures. We learned to view the world through a lens of judgment, biases, and competition: to battle rather than be compassionate and cooperative. To be suspicious of others different than us. Whatever caused us to disconnect from loving feelings, the protective and defensive mechanisms we erected, or any judgment, biases, and competitive ways of approaching life we adopted, habitual reactions and limiting beliefs [...]

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Messagewvlju2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 2021

wvlju2021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

Our ultimate purpose is to return to love.* And as we start to see others and life through the eyes of love, we can … ?Overcome – and effectively deal with our issues and challenging situations ?No longer focus the differences we hold with others, ?Make peace with situations around us we disagree with. *A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson, was one of the first books that opened my eyes to the depths that we can perceive others – and situations through the eyes of love. We emerged from love. We were created out of love. We ARE love. And our purpose is to return to love. Our world is a classroom in that journey back to fully embracing love – in all its forms – with everyone, everything, and all situations. ??? My passion is writing in the personal development and spirituality genres. I am also a copywriter and offer various writing services to businesses and personal development and spiritual communities. My Writing Services Page Whether the Garden of Eden was real or metaphoric, it is clear that we once had a connection to unconditional love, but at some point, we lost it. Over time, Humanity's ways of dealing with others and life shifted to fear-based. We inherited fear-based concepts, ideas, perceptions, reactions, and habits from our past. These became ingrained in our DNA and developed into our current default ways of navigating the world. Many qualities encompass us feeling and showing love, and there are many qualities we express when we come from a place of fear. See my post: the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear (The links to all my related blog posts are also at the end). Fear-based ways of approaching life limit our connection to – and outward expressions of unconditional love. Coming from this constricted place, we may be reactive or emotionally distant, hurting those around us. When hurt, our default may be that we become defensive and over-reactive, or we become protective of our hearts and shut down. Coming from a place of love we exude light. Coming from a place of fear we exude darkness. The Masters came to lead us out of the "darkness" or "our sleeping state, but we were too stuck in our ways to understand or embrace their messages – at least enough for them to become the norm. It is now time for Humanity to come out of the darkness into the light: To awaken to embracing the love we are at our core and extend that love to others. Moving Beyond How Humanity Has Navigated the World Influenced by what we have been taught and shown, people are only ever doing what they think they need to do to feel good or safe, or do what they think is best, right, good, or necessary. We are all on different legs of our Journey to Peace (my 1st book?) to coming out of the darkness and awakening to seeing [...]

Moving From “Its Not Ok” to “I’m at Peace With This” – Newsletter September 2021wvlju2021-11-02T18:36:27+00:00

August 2021 Newsletter: Expressing Ourselves: to Avoid Depression, Dysfunctions, and Lashing Out at Others

wvlju2021-09-21T18:47:48+00:00

Unless we express our fears, frustrations, and anger, they fester inside us and lead to depression, dysfunctional behaviors, or lashing out at others. Although focusing on the drama of anything going on is counterproductive, so is pretending all is well – when it is not. This post is created from my recent newsletter message. The link to sign-up or to read past ones is below. As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I am also a Copywriter. See My Writing Services And for the world, again, all is NOT well. And so, we must not ignore any feelings that arise in us as the uncertainly of our immediate future still seems to be up in the air. As the return to school and cooler weather almost upon those of us in the Northern hemisphere, and as covid numbers are rising again, many of us may be feeling frustrated or angry as it seems a return to some kind of normal is not imminent. None of us have ever gone through anything like this before. This is not the time to be “a-tough-guy” about it all – and pretend all is well. The haunting thoughts that we will be restricted again to seeing loved ones at will and that we may not be able to participate in our usual social outings and activities without restrictions is wearing on our emotions and stressing our being. We may not even consciously be aware of it, but there is a cumulative effect knawing on our emotions. To ensure we catch emotions and stresses before they become heavy and fester and create problems in our lives, we must address them. At the same time, ensuring we embrace calming/grounding activity or practices and have some positive life experiences will help alleviate any heavy emotions and stresses. Catching Heavy Emotions and Stresses Before They Fester Acknowledging and expressing how we feel is the first step to ensure we don’t fall into sadness or depression, become dysfunctional or fall into addiction, or project our frustrations onto others – which only causes disharmony and further stress in our lives. ? Talking to Our Friends or Loved Ones and sharing our thoughts, fears, and frustrations about what is going on helps relieve the heaviness of it all. As we discuss these with another, our words help us pinpoint how we feel about it all, which is often harder to identify than the superficial goings-on. Once acknowledged and looked closer at, the emotions surrounding bad feelings start to subside. And often, we realize they, too, are feeling some of the same. Knowing others have some of the same fears, worries, or frustrations is comforting and helps us make peace with it all. ? Journaling Is an Excellent Tool to acknowledge, pinpoint, and work through our feelings and emotions. When we have nobody we trust enough – or are not comfortable discussing our innermost thoughts and feelings with others. and journaling is a beautiful way to work through our thoughts, worries, feelings, and emotions. We can address scary emotions like [...]

August 2021 Newsletter: Expressing Ourselves: to Avoid Depression, Dysfunctions, and Lashing Out at Otherswvlju2021-09-21T18:47:48+00:00

Dealing With Anger

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