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Disappointments

It’s Not Me–It’s You. It’s Not You–It’s Me. It’s Both. It’s Neither – Newsletter October 2021

2021-12-07T13:19:25+00:00

When we come from a place of It's Not Me – It's You, we project our fears and feelings onto the other. Ultimately, we are all responsible for the feelings that arise in us. Projecting our feelings back at the other is an attempt to deflect owning our feelings. And rather than get angry, defensive, or blame the other – it is more productive to respond calmly.  When we come from a place of It's Not You – It's Me, we internalize how the other made us feel. We are also responsible for any feelings we internalize, bury, and hide from the other. And rather than allowing our emotions to stew and later erupt or morph into passive-aggressive attitudes or behaviors, it is more productive to speak up calmly – but confidently. Later, we can look to understand why we allow another to make us feel bad and how we allow them to treat us in the way they do. (Sign-Up  to receive my Free Monthly Newsletter where I cover a variety of subjects related to our personal development). ✍?As well as my Spiritual and Personal Development Writing, I am also a Copywriter/Digital Marketing and I offer Various Writing Services. My Writing Services Page ✍? Whether we project or internalize, we take personally what the other said, did, didn’t say, didn’t do, or how they reacted or didn’t react. Don’t take things personally is one of the four agreements from ...  My Recommended Book of the Month is The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. When People Disagree or One Feels Hurt, or Gets Disappointed or Disillusioned ?It's Both of Us: because when issues arise, both are coming from a place of misalignment from love. One is unaware that they are feeling bad because of their misalignment; the other is unaware that they are behaving in hurtful ways that stem from their misalignment. And ... ?It's Neither of Us: Our true reality is that we are love. However, we are disconnected from that love. So, when issues arise, both are coming from a place of misalignment from that love – unaware that they are simply feeling bad or acting out from that place of misalignment. With this understanding that It Is Both of Us – and – It Is Neither of Us – and knowing that each is unaware that they are feeling or reacting from this place of misalignment, it is easier to understand and forgive how the other is showing up. To shift from It's Not Me–It's You – or – It's Not You–It's Me” – to – “It’s Both – It’s Neither” we must … ? Come from a place of honesty and authenticity within ourselves ? Bring the qualities of love – calmness, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and harmony to the other. And to get there, it helps to … ? Remember that we are all somewhat misaligned from our true reality – from the love we are at our core ? Recognize that you cannot always feel love and [...]

It’s Not Me–It’s You. It’s Not You–It’s Me. It’s Both. It’s Neither – Newsletter October 20212021-12-07T13:19:25+00:00

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message

2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

Feeling contented helps us weather life's ups and downs more easily. ?Sign-up for My Newsletter - and  read my past messages at:  Sign up for My Newsletter ? I also offer a variety of writing services, see My Writing Services Page There are many ways to get to a place of feeling contented, with the most obvious one being from externals, such as ... - Getting the job, reaching a goal, or becoming successful. These give us a sense of accomplishment, bringing feelings of contentment. - Moving into a house, finding the perfect partner, or starting a family also brings feelings of contentment, however … For Most of Us, Feelings of Contentment  that Come from Outside of Ourselves Is Fleeting  ? ?  ? Contentment That Comes from Within – From the Depths of Our Being – Has More Staying Power Once the newness of what we accomplished or have gotten has worn off, we seem to need to reach for the next thing. The wanting, satisfying, and wanting again trap humans fall prey to is one of the major reasons that true and lasting contentment eludes us. ? ?  ? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on My Upcoming Books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences…, and Relationship Intelligence … ? ?  ? This month's message was inspired by a friend's recent question on a Facebook post – and my answer. Traci asked: "What is one good thing you are experiencing even with the times we are in?" My answer (which came to me quickly) was: "I'm feeling even more contented than usual – even though I've had some tough times lately, and I feel blessed for all those who helped me get there. And I realize that there is nothing much else that beats the feeling of being content." Since that day, I've been pondering where that sense of contentment came from. I realized that it came from a combination of: ? *Loving the Holiday Season ? **Making peace with recent disappointments ? ***Appreciating what was now good ? ****And partaking in three powerful meditations with Allison Carol Blackburn just before and between Christmas and New Year. ? ?  ? ? *Loving the Holiday Season (or any other Celebration) – is an easy one because … Embracing the Spirit of Celebrations Heightens Our Senses Allowing Contentment to Grow in Our Being ? **Making Peace with Disappointments (*or True Forgiveness as taught by A Course in Miracles. See below for a fuller explanation). I had been feeling disappointed that my extended family could not attend my usual brunch (it wasn't the numbers but more distance and the many commitments the young adults had). Slowly, as the week went on, I started to make peace with this, until suddenly, it felt ok. With the acceptance that they were all growing up and had their own lives, a huge shift occurred in me, and I realized [...]

Creating Feelings of Contentment – January 2022 Newsletter Message2022-02-03T22:34:20+00:00

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