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Expressing Love

What Would Love Do? February 2023, Newsletter #56

2023-02-21T05:23:54+00:00

What Would Love Do? About Ourselves – and Regarding Others This text is from my February 2023 Newsletter Message. Sign Up to Receive Future Ones or Read Past Ones.  ?How we perceive and internalize what happens to us – dictates how we will feel afterwards ?How we respond to disappointments, misunderstandings, and others’ unwanted or aggressive attitudes or behaviors – dictates the atmosphere afterwards ?How we deal with unexpected or unwanted situations – dictates how satisfactorily they will be resolved And it Is How Much Love We Have for Ourselves that dictates how we perceive and internalize, how we respond, how we deal with situations – and how much we can express love to others – and out into the world. Self-Love Self-love means that we are accepting, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to ourselves – we are basically kind to ourselves. When we come from a place of love, we think, speak, act, and react from a place of love – and empowerment. Focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves and others is uplifting and empowering. Focusing on the negative aspects of ourselves and others is deflating and disempowering.  And it is from this place of empowerment that we can be accepting, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to others – we can basically be kind to those around us. Ensure Your Thoughts, Words, and Reactions Align with Self-Love Self-love requires being conscious and aware of what you are letting into your mind and life – and what you are putting out into the world. When we think, speak, react, and act unconsciously, we are at the beck call of Unconscious Influences. Based on unresolved past hurts and pains that we project into the present, these influences cause us to feel, react, and behave in habitual and protective ways that have no bearing on what is currently happening. This unconscious way of dealing with life and others causes unwarranted anger, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and conflicts. To get to a place of loving yourself, your thoughts, words, reactions, and behaviors must align with, ?The way you want to feel, ? How you want life to show up, and ?The kind of relationships you want to have. If you want to feel love in your life and have peace around you, you must come from a place of love – and extend Love’s Qualities to those around you. If your thoughts, words, reactions, and behaviors do not align with what you want, you have to exchange them with loving, compassionate, and forgiving ones – rather than berating yourself, complaining about a situation, or criticizing or blaming others. This is vital because how we think about ourselves and how we deal with others and situations dictates what shows up in our life and affects the quality of our relationships. Replacing negative thinking requires consciously training our minds to shift to positive thoughts about ourselves and others, and hopeful thoughts about the future. And replacing is really re-programming our habitual ways of approaching life. This article [...]

What Would Love Do? February 2023, Newsletter #562023-02-21T05:23:54+00:00

The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear

2022-02-15T05:03:25+00:00

All thoughts, attitudes, and actions stem from either love or from fear. What we are feeling and how we are being has its basis either in love, or in fear. All unease and negative outward expressions are based on some sort of fear. From the highest perspective there is only love! Everything else stems from fear.  The underlying fears within us surface - one way or another - in the many negative or unproductive ways we deal with life. This concept is so hard to hear and even harder to believe. Our mind just cannot wrap itself around the idea that “I am angry because of a fear.” Of course, we think NO WAY! I am angry because he/she said/did this to me. However, if we peel back the layers of why we are angry, it boils down to some type of fear. (My Worksheet: Connecting the Dots can help us link what we are feeling or what is causing unwanted reactions - to a fear we may not be aware of.  A printout copy is available from my book). This blog article is based on concepts in my books:   About My Books   Why We Are the Way We Are; Your Journey to Peace ...   About My Books (You will also find information on this link for my 2 upcoming books: 1) Overcome Your Unconscious Influences, like Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, and Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness"  - due out early 2022."Relationship Intelligence ... " due out Spring 2022. To stay updated,  Sign-Up for my free monthly Newsletter ??? Our positive feelings and attitudes come from the love we feel within ourselves and from our being connected to our True Self and aligned with the love it embodies. Our negative thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions are based on fears amassed from the impressions and interpretations we have gathered from our life experiences now buried in our Emotional Bodies and played out through our Unconscious Influences. These fears need a voice and are usually released in dysfunctional ways as we project them out into the world. Below, Illustration 4 shows some of the aspects of love, and Illustration 5 shows some aspects of fear. Love All the joy and passion that we feel and the harmony that manifests in our lives, and all the other positive attitudes (many shown in illustration 3) stem from love. We are able to bring these about because we are connected to the spark that we emanated from. There is a memory of that spark within all of us, and it is easily accessible - as long as we have not erected roadblocks to squelch the connection. In positive, loving people, that connection can show up in either overt or covert ways, depending on their personalities. Even when the connection is stifled, as was in my case, it can still be accessed with external reminders. A baby’s smile, a spectacular sunset, the abandonment that arises in us from the exhilaration of an extreme sport, or the passion that [...]

The Qualities of Love / the Qualities of Fear2022-02-15T05:03:25+00:00

? Saying “I Love You” – December 2022 Newsletter Message

2023-02-03T22:20:29+00:00

This is from my December Monthly Newsletter Message. ????? February's Message will be " "What Would Love Do." Sign-up to Receive it. You Can Read Past Ones there too. The words I love you are very powerful. They touch the heart of the recipient. However, not everyone can say the words. They may feel love for the other, but cannot bring themselves to express it verbally. Its as if the words are stuck in their throat. Saying I love you is often learned from our birth family as it may have been normal to regularly say the words. And even for those who grew up in a family where saying I love you wasn’t the norm, we may still be able to verbally express love later in life – if we have a strong enough heart connection. The stronger our heart connection, the more we can feel love in our hearts and come from a place of love, and the easier it is to express love – in all its ways, including verbally. The More Love We Feel in Our Hearts, the Easier it Is For Us to Express Love – Including Words The purest form of saying I love you comes from our heart-space and being unafraid to be vulnerable. Saying I love you makes us vulnerable because we are opening our hearts – and the other may not reciprocate the love we are expressing. But the purest form of expressing love to another requires no reciprocation. However, most of us get hurt feelings or confused if another does not reciprocate our expressions of love. Sometimes they may not feel it, but most likely, the other has not returned the feelings because they cannot. Still, even if it feels awkward to say the words or it makes you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable, uttering them will benefit you greatly. Our Words Are Powerful. They Are Like Mantras Mantras are valuable because they anchor the meaning of the words into our being – into our heart-space. The more often we make an effort to connect to or express love, the more we connect to our heart-space. And the more we connect to our heart-space, the easier it is to express love – in all its forms. (See my blog post The Qualities of Love) Words are most powerful when felt deeply in our hearts. But even words whispered to ourselves or forced words voiced have benefits – because we are making an effort. The “fake it till you make it” concept has value. So, if you are uncomfortable saying I love you to others, there are many ways to get the energy of it in you – so that you can override any blocks to verbally expressing your love. This - and my February message are excerpts from my upcoming book, Relationship Intelligence ... – due out later this Winter. See my Published and Upcoming Books Practice saying the words when alone – and repeat them many times, ?Out loud to [...]

? Saying “I Love You” – December 2022 Newsletter Message2023-02-03T22:20:29+00:00

What Would Love Do?

2023-02-28T18:38:09+00:00

What Would Love Do? is a concept I came across when studying A Course in Miracles. We can ask What Would Love Do? regarding ourselves, others, and situations. Our responses to what happens to us, to situations with others, or to issues that crop up are what dictate how we will feel once whatever is happening is past. ? If we come from a place of love – and express love’s qualities (understanding, compassion, etc., there is a link below to my post on Love's Qualities) we will feel better. Calmer. And we will be able to deal with anything that needs our attention with more clarity. We will get on our day feeling light. ? If we allow our mind to focus on the negativity of it all:  he/she did – didn’t do xyz, it’s not fair, or this should not have happened and anger or frustration take over, or we resort to judgment, blame, or revenge - or any type of aggression we will carry the dense energy of this with us throughout the day. We are only ever coming from a place of Love, or a place of Fear. Read my related post, the Qualities of Love / the Qualities of  Fear.  If we want to better ourselves - or to feel better, we must approach life differently than we were. In my past and before I started doing personal development work (I didn't even know that term), I  just wanted to find peace in my life. A feeling had started to grow in me that there was something wrong with the picture of my life -  of how I was navigating life. That it was not others - but me - who were causing my unhappiness and frustrations.  Not me-me - but that somehow I was missing the mark. And so, my journey to peace (the name and themes of my books) began. Slowly, I began to realize that my frustrations and what I was feeling were not about the others - what they were or weren't doing. It was all coming from within me. I learned that my perceptions of others and situations were not reality - and that I brought past hurts, feelings, biases, and beliefs into present situations.   From these echoes of the past and their beliefs and biases, I created protection mechanisms and default ways of responding to life. I call these Our Unconscious Influences (see below for info on my upcoming book 2, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences ... in my "Our Journeys to Peace' Series). I had started to understand that based on what I experienced or witnessed when growing up, I had been projected my fears of what was or what might happen onto the present.  I allowed actions and innocent remarks to echo in my mind as proof that I would be criticized, wronged, stepped-on, and/or disempowered – just like my mother and many women of the 50’s generation were. All my Articles / Blog Posts are based on my [...]

What Would Love Do?2023-02-28T18:38:09+00:00

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