fbpx

spirited fawn publications

The Cavern Between You and Others – Is In Direct Relationship Between You and You – 3/3

2021-04-01T00:29:47+00:00

In part 1, I discussed how the hurts or conflicts that arise in our relationships are mostly due to Unconscious Influences  – to habitual thought and reactionary patterns that run our lives. In part 2, I discussed how our habitual thought and reactionary responses often do not get us the results we are looking for, and how they can create hurt feelings in us, and conflicts in our relationships. In this part 3, I explain how neediness and passive responses also affect us, and I sum this 3 part article up by explaining how we can become aware of – and override any conditioned unconscious responses that may bring us initial satisfaction, but do not ultimately give us the results we want or the sense of peace, happiness, and harmonious relationships we yearn for. You can read  Part 1 HERE   Part 2 HERE  But before I continue, I'd just like to mention that the main takeaway from this series is basically that: Improving our connection to our True Self improves – and deepens our connection to others. They are intertwined.  Passive Responses: Passive responses come from feeling disempowered. Although passive responses may appear to be neutral, as there are no blatant outward signs, they are very different because passive responses hold an emotional component – just like aggressive ones. Sometimes the hurts, feelings, disappointments, or perceived injustices are not voiced at all, while at other times they are, but are tinged with so much emotion and/or neediness that the other individual turns a blind ear. In both cases, we are not heard. Either way, the emotions are internalized affecting both the individual and the relationship. These internalizations harm us because buried emotions add another layer to the cavern between “us and us,” and our connection to our True Self is further weakened. This article is based on my books, “Your Journey to Peace … ” and “Why We Are the Way We Are” both are available in print and e-book from Amazon. Link to About Books       Link to Amazon. Passive responses harm the relationship because as our true feelings are not voiced (or heard) we have not addressed the hurt or disappointment we feel, and we remain inwardly angry towards the other for not understanding or taking into consideration our feelings, or seeing our viewpoint. And if we are do try to make ourselves heard but are ineffective, before we approach the subject again, reflecting on our approach last time and possibly adjusting it could help us getting heard this time. We can ask ourselves: Are we being needy – only thinking about our needs and perspective? Are we negative – only focusing on what is wrong or may go wrong? Are we overly emotional – crying at any perceived slight or criticism? Could we be acting passive-aggressively – sighing or putting on a sad face rather than sharing our thoughts or feelings? Whether we elect these attitudes because we don’t like to speak our mind, are unable to articulate or [...]

The Cavern Between You and Others – Is In Direct Relationship Between You and You – 3/32021-04-01T00:29:47+00:00

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message

2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

This post is taken from my December 2021 Newsletter Message. (Sign up to receive my monthly messages - and to read my past ones is below, as is the link to My Writing Services) The December theme, Creating Loving Feelings, was from an essay I wrote a few years ago for The Love Foundation, for which I received an honorable mention?. I tweaked it a little to reflect the Holiday Season and the impact the current state of the world may be having on us and our ability to feel joy. ??? Most of us aspire to feel good, be positive, and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we cannot feel love in our hearts – at least not enough to be joyful, happy, and contented, or loving towards others. Even if we are usually calm, loving, and are a positive person, personal stress and stresses from outside sources – like what we have recently been experiencing with the restrictions put upon us – dull our senses. Feelings of joy and happiness and our sense of aliveness may weaken. For many of us, our ability to connect to loving feelings is fragile and can easily be upset. ??? All my writing is based on themes from my books: Your Journey to Peace …,  and Why We Are the Way We Are, See below for info on my upcoming books, Overcome Your Unconscious Influences..., and Relationship Intelligence ... As well as my spiritual/personal development writing, I also offer Writing Services see My Writing Services Page To stay updated on book releases (and to read my past messages) Sign up for My Newsletter ??? We were created to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally expressing love – and its supportive qualities like fairness, sharing, and compassion outwards into the world. See my post The Qualities of Love. However, at some point in humanity's history, negativity arose. As this played out, our connection to positive and uplifting ways of experiencing and expressing life weakened. As time passed, harmful and disempowering ways of approaching life and others became the norm: our default position. Because of What We Experienced, or Were Exposed to in the Past, Our Connection to Loving Feelings May Be Weak. or Even Blocked ?Some of us were victims of how the negativity played out in others. As they abused, criticized, or belittled us, or were unsupportive of us emotionally, mentally, or physically, our hearts hardened, and we unconsciously erected protective and defensive mechanisms to protect our hearts and emotional world. ?Others of us inherited the negative ways of being from our families and cultures. We learned to view the world through a lens of judgment, biases, and competition: to battle rather than be compassionate and cooperative. To be suspicious of others different than us. Whatever caused us to disconnect from loving feelings, the protective and defensive mechanisms we erected, or any judgment, biases, and competitive ways of approaching life we adopted, habitual reactions and limiting beliefs [...]

Creating Loving Feelings, December 2021 Newsletter Message2022-01-28T17:23:24+00:00

Living Expanded – Instead of Contracted

2021-01-07T05:57:00+00:00

When we live life from an expanded place, our whole being feels loose and free. We are happy, open, curious, and we feel unlimited in what we can do, or attain. When we live from a contracted place, we are serious, and feel tight and restricted. We are closed, cautious, and feel limited in what we can do, or attain. Living expanded we feel light, calm, contented, and trusting that our life will go well: our life flows easily. Living contracted we feel heavy, concerned, and tentative about life and unsure that it will go well: our life often seems like a struggle. We are meant to be happy, open, and feel unlimited. We now understand the importance of living in this way, but putting it into practice in difficult times is not always easy. Still, it is in challenging times like this that we have to make the extra effort to remain happy and open, so that we can live expanded - not contracted, and still able to reap the benefits of living from the higher states of consciousness living expanded bring to us. This article is from my upcoming book, Overcoming Our Unconscious Influences, like Anger, Frustration, Hurt Feelings, Neediness, Impatience, and Control and Blame Tendencies.  It is tweaked a little to address what we are currently facing. Due out in early 2021, about this book and my published ones see here  Living expanded we are aligned with Universal flow, which embodies love, trust, hope, co-operation, and fearlessness. Living contracted we are aligned with our mind and emotions, which embody fear, doubt, competition, suspiciousness, and limitation. The more we are conscious and connected to our True Self, the easier it is to live from an expanded place. Some of us live from an expanded consciousness most of the time. But most of us live life from an expanded consciousness some of the time – mostly when life is going well. When life is going well, it is so much easier to be positive and approach life with openness, and free of worry and restrictive and thinking.  With a bump here and there along our path, most of us can weather life’s ups and downs, and easily return to being positive and open to life’s possibilities. However, when too many bumps or real concerns cross our path at the same time or consecutively, even those of us who are conscious and have a strong connection to our True Self, fall prey to worry, doubt, stress, and become tentative and distrustful of life, and our future. However, to lessen the blow, we must remain hopeful, instead of fearful. We must keep dreams of a good future alive in us, instead of constant worry about it. This not only makes us feel better now, it helps set up a good future for us. Because the cumulative effect of constant worry shifts our energy level. When too much is thrust upon us – especially the unexpected, the cumulative effect can wreck havoc on our confidence – in ourselves [...]

Living Expanded – Instead of Contracted2021-01-07T05:57:00+00:00

Energy Protection Tools

2021-03-24T11:56:00+00:00

As we go about our day, we might find it valuable to block out any energies that could negatively affect us. Here are a few Simple Protection Techniques that I have used. Always start with a few centering or cleansing breaths, then Envision yourself surrounded by a beautiful white beam of light. You can also envision a white mesh-like cloth all around you, and instruct it to let the good energies in and to repel the negative ones. Imagine a thin coating of a beautiful, sparkly gold-colored honey-like substance being poured over you. Call in Spirit, a deity, your guardian angel, or any Archangel you have an affinity for to protect you. I often do this in conjunction with one of the above. ©Rosemary McCarthy, February 19, 2021.

Energy Protection Tools2021-03-24T11:56:00+00:00

Newsletter #39 March 2021: I Am Humming Again

2021-04-22T17:22:21+00:00

We all have our contentment barometers that help us realize that we are feeling – or doing better than we were – whatever feeling or doing better means for each of us. Mine is humming. I’m sure you have yours.  Maybe it’s eagerly hopping out of bed in the morning, exercising more regularly, eating better, picking up that guitar or paintbrush again, watching less tv, going to bed earlier or … And these – or any good, uplifting, or healthy habits work off each other to further make us feel better – because once we do start to feel better, we have stepped onto a more positive life track. Spring Has Sprung ? And I Wish You A Delightful Season.  Whichever Spring Religious Traditions You Embrace, I Hope Your Holi Celebration Was Spirited; Your Passover Week Is Feeling Blessed; or that You Have a Beautiful Easter   (You can also read this in your browser, see it as it was sent out, and sign-up for this free monthly publication here ) When I realize that I have been humming again, and/or I automatically start singing a beautiful / uplifting song that just comes to me – either out loud or in my head (sometimes dancing or even skipping to it – which is kind of embarrassing if this happens when I am outside as I’m not always immediately aware I am doing it?), I get this ah-ha moment where I realize … oh yeah, I am feeling better. We have all been affected in different ways this past year, and we’ve probably all had up and down days, weeks, or even months. I find it a beautiful testament to our global spirit that most of us have managed through it all – without being too badly scathed.    For me … Throughout the latter part of the winter, I had just been feeling dull. Not exactly depressed, but just a low – couldn’t care less sort of energy. But recently, my contentment barometer went off. I found myself humming again. Towards the end, I have given a few simple instructions on how to create your custom-made affirmation practice  – similar to one that helped me come out of my winter funk. And at the very end, I have included a beautiful, uplifting Latoka Prayer.  A few weeks ago, when I was out walking one quiet evening, I realized I was humming again – and to be honest, I was skipping a little (it was quiet and dark, so Phew! there were no embarrassing moments. ? And since humming is my contentment barometer, I got that ah-ha moment … ah yes, I am feeling better again – more light-hearted. Humming became my contentment barometer one day many years ago .., when I was in the gym changing room and a woman nearby was humming as she was getting changed into her everyday clothes. (This was shortly before I started doing inner work to address how I was allowing my frustrations to play out in [...]

Newsletter #39 March 2021: I Am Humming Again2021-04-22T17:22:21+00:00

The Value of Being Authentic – Part 1/3

2020-12-10T14:36:10+00:00

When we are authentic, we come from an honest place within our self. We are open-hearted, and live and speak from the heart. Living from our heart-space we connect to our True Self―our core Self―our essence, and our authentic Self shines through. When we live, speak from, and are connected to our heart-space we engage our True Self, giving us access to the love, guidance, courage, wisdom, clarity of vision, and power it holds. Having access to all our True Self holds and connected to that honest place within, we feel peaceful, empowered in life, and can easily create―and maintain harmonious relationships. When we come from that honest place within our self, we are connected to the subtler parts of our self.  We know our self. We are in tune with our true feelings. We have clarity about our life. We know where we are in life; and where we want to go in life. Or, if we are shifting and changing and don’t have a clear picture of our future, we are confident it will reveal itself to us―in a timely manner. This blog article is based on my books - published and upc0ming  Your Journey to Peace ... (2016) Why We Are the Way We Are (2018, Book 1 in series) Overcoming: Anger, Frustrations,  Hurt Feelings, ,Neediness, Blaming Others for Our Unhappiness (Dec 2020, Book 2) Relationships in an Evolving World (March 2020, Book 3) About My Books here    To stay Updated, Sign-up for my Newsletter  here Because we are connected to the subtler parts of our self, we can express them to others. Our exchanges with others are honest. We can allow our self to be vulnerable with people. We can honestly and easily express our feelings and concerns―without fear of judgment or criticism. With the confidence and sense of security our connection to our True Self brings us, we do not take things personally. We are only connected to the honest and subtler parts of our self if we have acknowledged―and regularly deal with our innermost thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Denied / Buried Feelings Cause Unconscious Influences to Arise in Us If we cannot, or do not, acknowledge our true feelings and emotions to our self, we bury and deny them. Good feelings do not affect us badly, but hurtful ones do and create emotional wounds below the surface of our awareness that easily get triggered. They are like emotional scars, and we have an unconscious need to protect them. As we protect these old scars, we unknowingly create barriers that block us living from our heart-space, weakening our connection to our True Self. We then live with our feelings and emotions raw and close to the surface, causing us to get triggered by innocent, small inconsequential comments, actions, or non-actions by others that have nothing to do with the original hurt. We are simply overly sensitive and protective of our feelings. Because we take things personally, people always seem to be pushing our buttons or disappointing [...]

The Value of Being Authentic – Part 1/32020-12-10T14:36:10+00:00

Self-forgiveness Vital in Stressful Times – Part 1/3

2020-09-04T22:17:39+00:00

Even the kindest, evolved, and most conscious people among us waver from healthy, kind, compassionate, and forgiving attitudes and behaviors from time to time. And even though we are all more stressed than usual these days with all that is going on and the restrictions we need follow to keep ourselves and others safe, I am thrilled to see mainly kindness and compassion.  Most people seem to be doing fine! Still, what we project on the outside and when we are out and about is not always reflective with what goes on in our homes, or with those we are close to. Stressors do have a way of seeping into our attitudes and behaviors. Whatever the reason, whenever we fall into any kind of negative attitudes or behavior it is always important to forgive our self – but vital to do so these days.  (I wrote this article a few years ago entitled "Self-forgiveness and Becoming Our Best Self." It felt appropriate to re-post it now – with a few tweaks to reflect the times we are living. And so, as well as general themes on self-forgiveness, you will find references to our current situation). Rosemary? No matter what bad or unkind things we have thought, believed, said, supported, done, or not done, time we have wasted, money we have squandered, or any addictions we have succumbed to, we can turn our life around and rise above what has held us in negative attitudes or patterns hurting our self, or others. Our purpose here is to connect more fully to our True Self – TO LOVE, which allows us to feel good, be joyful, stay balanced, become our Best Self, and to bring love and light to the world. We ALL have the capacity for all this – no matter what is going on. However, most of us have simply not been taught this. And the world has forgotten the importance of feeling good and joyful. Forgiving our self is vital to us staying balanced,  feeling good,  able to access joy, turning our life around, and becoming our Best Self However, to allow self-forgiveness to anchor into our being we must embrace the concept of unconditional love for our self!  We ARE LOVE. we emerged from LOVE – from God (Source, Spirit, Holy Spirit – or whatever we call the universal creative force), and it reflects back to us only unconditional love. And unconditional love holds the premise of complete forgiveness.  When we (or anyone) cannot feel love, or express it out into the world, it is only because we are not connected to our origins. We are disconnected from our True Self – from the love we are at our core. (I will be posting a Worksheet on "Forgiving Our Self" shortly. See links below to follow me. Rosemary  Disconnected from this love, we default to egoic ways of thinking, being, managing our life, and navigating the world. These ways of being have all been inherited from Humanity's past, and have [...]

Self-forgiveness Vital in Stressful Times – Part 1/32020-09-04T22:17:39+00:00

Creating Loving Feelings

2020-04-15T18:49:28+00:00

Most of us aspire to be positive and express love out into the world. However, sometimes we simply cannot feel love in our heart, at least not enough to be loving towards others. We were intended to live connected to love, effortlessly tapping into joy, and naturally able to express love outwards into the world. Eons ago, we could. However, at some point in history, negativity arose, and as this played out, our connection to joy and loving feelings inadvertently became weakened. Many of us were victims of and/or inherited these ways of being from past generations, and so our connection to loving feelings may be weak, or even blocked. This article/blog post is based on concepts in my books. See here  We now know that light, positive, uplifting high-vibration thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors create feelings of general well-being. They burst through any weakness or blocks we may have to loving feelings. They send sparks of light and love to our whole being. This allows us to reconnect to loving feelings. The more we embrace high-vibration thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors, the better we feel. The better we feel, the more easily we can express love out into the world. For those of us who cannot easily tap into joy or loving feelings, we can conjure them up. Creating Loving Feelings  We create loving feelings by passionately evoking loving feelings with our thoughts, words, attitudes, and behaviors. Doing so with gusto, relishing, delighting in, reveling in, and with exaggerated feelings gets the ball rolling. We are attempting to override years, generations, and even eons of our feelings of love being dulled and subdued, so we must approach this with enthusiasm. Hug yourself or your pillow. Create a practice by summoning up love feelings as if you were hugging a baby, your child, your most precious loved one, a cute kitten, or whatever will create pure, unabashed childlike pleasure within you. This creates love feelings within your being, which you can later connect to more easily. Embrace joy and light-heartedness. Regularly do what brings you joy. Bring fun and light-heartedness to whatever you do, as this creates a sense of joy around it anchoring joy into your being. Joy then becomes part of your make-up. Be passionate and bring abandon to all you do. Being passionate and bringing abandon to whatever you are doing creates a positive vortex around it. This makes every-day tasks pleasurable. The mundane starts to feel extraordinary. Life starts to feel extraordinary. Delight in small things. When you allow yourself to delight in the small things in life, like the bubbles in the sink, spring’s first bloom, or a baby’s smile, you are evoking loving feelings. This creates a sort of love muscle memory, and you will automatically start to feel sparks of joy and loving feelings in small things, each time strengthening your connection to love. Allow for wonder and awe. Whenever possible, embrace what creates wonder and awe in your being. Whether it be the sky and [...]

Creating Loving Feelings2020-04-15T18:49:28+00:00

Newsletter March 2020 – Gratitude: In Good and Challenging Times

2020-04-15T18:51:33+00:00

As I was recently going over my section on “Gratitude” in the upcoming book 2 of my ‘Becoming Our Best Self’ Series, and the thought came to me to expand it to include a bit about the importance of being grateful – especially in difficult times. I also shared a few meditations. Links are below. Gratitude: In Good and Challenging Times  A little quote from Rumi, the 13th century Persian poet, expresses the power of gratitude perfectly. Gratitude seeps through any denseness created when we fall prey to low vibration thinking or ways of being and connects us to our heart-space. It bursts through any blocks we inadvertently created – like those caused by worry, fear, blame, anger, etc. that keep us disconnected from our heart-space. Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life ~Rumi Along with joy, freedom, and love, gratitude and appreciation are listed as the highest on Abraham Hicks’s Emotional Guidance Scale (1). And just like love, joy, and all the high-vibration attitudes, appreciation and gratitude send sparks of light, love, and healing to our cells, allowing for mental stability and feelings of physical well-being. This helps us override as gratitude connects us to our heart-space, we are propelled into higher levels of consciousness. This helps us to override any habitual, negative / unhelpful thought, attitudinal, and behavioral patterns. Worry, fear, anger, blame etc. dissipate, and we see life with more clarity and from a more hopeful – and helpful perspective. With clarity of vision, what we really need to do not only becomes clearer, it also somehow happens more easily. The cobwebs of worry, fear, anger, blame, and what if’s simply fade away. Clarity of vision is not a small thing – especially in these confusing and challenging times. Gratitude does not come that easily to many of us, but there is much we can do to help bring feelings of gratitude and appreciation into our every-day life. Cultivating Gratitude The best way to cultivate gratitude is to consciously and consistently make it part of our every-day life. Including gratefulness and appreciation in our prayer, meditation, quiet or reflection time anchors them into our being.  Feelings of gratefulness and appreciation then become second-nature. Creating a gratitude journal is also helpful. Included it in our everyday practice, or whenever we feel stressed or succumb to fear or negativity, spending a little time writing out what we can be grateful for puts us in gratitude mode. To Read Full Message see  HERE To Sign-up for Future Newsletters see  HERE Louise Hay’s Gratitude Meditation is useful any time of the day. See Here Marianne Williamson’s recent meditation aims to help us physically and emotionally in these challenging days by 1) infusing our bodies with protective and healing light; 2) waylay any fears we may hold about all that is happening regarding the corona virus. See Here Rosemary McCarthy ©  March 31,2020.   To stay updated on new posts and book publish date(s)you can also Follow my Facebook page here  See here  for [...]

Newsletter March 2020 – Gratitude: In Good and Challenging Times2020-04-15T18:51:33+00:00

The World Needs our Gentle Touch – Part 3/3

2020-07-15T13:03:34+00:00

In parts 1 and 2, I discuss why all of us need a gentle touch - especially now. In part 2 I also suggest that we extend that gentleness to all living beings on the Planet - on Gaia, as she is home to beings that walk upon her. In this part 3, I maintain that we must also be gentle to Gaia - our home - to Mother Earth. As we have progressed and modernized, we have abused and disrespected our home, and we need to help her heal. (This is a re-post of an article I wrote a couple of years ago and post from time to time - and felt it was a good time to present it again, as these days we all need a gentle touch: compassion and understanding as we navigate these challenging times. I addressed our current situation a little in Part 1, and here this is mostly just a re-post of the original article, but that is always relevant). Gaia is a living breathing being. The Indigenous peoples know this and show her the respect she deserves.They have a strong connection to our Planet, and they are teaching us the importance of respecting her - and all her inhabitants.  See HERE for Part 1 - For Part 2 HERE Our Home; Mother Earth In past times, we held a reciprocal relationship with Gaia. She gave to us through her bounty. We took and shared  her gifts – with gratitude, and we looked after her. The Indigenous peoples still adhere to this concept of reciprocity, and still believe in the premise of “enough.” Our planet has suffered physically through industrialization and our greed. We have been inconsiderate of her air, water, land, forests, and resources. We are now seeing the repercussions of many of the decisions made decades ago. Some of these we made unaware of the long-term consequences; others, we knew there would be consequences and either ignored or buried the research. We have gotten used to the many luxuries that we now consider our right – many of them attained at her expense. We have gone beyond the concept of “enough.” This article is based on my writings. See here for more information on my books. Our planet has also suffered from the emotional abuses we have put upon her. All the unfairness, judgments, prejudices, hate, injustices, and cruelty we have directed towards each other, groups of people, like through genocides and wars, or even towards the animals have affected her. Because she is a living, breathing organism and it all happened within her boundaries, she too has suffered when those living upon her suffered. Gaia, Mother Earth, our beautiful planet has had to shrug off all of these physical and emotional abuses. And even though she is still in an evolutionary stage and some upheavals are normal, many of the recent turbulent weather patterns are because of her releasing this negative energy we have put upon her. She too requires our gentleness [...]

The World Needs our Gentle Touch – Part 3/32020-07-15T13:03:34+00:00

Title

Go to Top