Unhealthy Boundaries

In Part 1 of this series on our boundaries, I discussed the importance of healthy boundaries – especially in times of stress, change, and uncertainty – like what we have recently been experiencing. I pointed out that this past year, some of us have been able to further open our boundaries and help others, while others of us have had to close our boundaries to maintain our sense of balance and equilibrium. And that it is ALL Good! See HERE to read Part 1 Here in this Part 2, I discuss the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, and how each affects us. Healthy Boundaries Healthy boundaries are open enough to let the good in, while closed enough to detract what is not good for us. They allow us to be open enough to those around us to let in what feels good, supportive, uplifting – and to what empowers us, while still being closed enough to avoid the undesirable, like criticism and blame, and what may make us feel bad, unsupported, put upon – or feel disempowered any way. With healthy boundaries, we know where we begin, and the other ends. And we ensure those around us know where we begin, and where they end. When reasonable and healthy boundaries are being respected, there are no blurred lines between what is comfortable – physically and emotionally – and what is not. When around others, we either feel normal, comfortable, and safe. Or we do not. With healthy boundaries, we innately know when to engage with others, and when to disengage we recognize what our responsibility is towards others – emotionally, physically, and psychically we understand – and adhere to what our comfort level is with individuals we sidestep – or withdraw from drama and from uncomfortable or inappropriate emotional entanglements we know when to say NO to unreasonable requests we recognize what is inappropriate for us to engage in or what will stress us– and we adhere to that internal guidance and we know – and respect our energy levels. It is our confidence, self-esteem, and ability to trust ourselves that influence our ability to create healthy boundaries. This confidence ensures we do not allow others to, suffocate us emotionally bombard us lure us into their arguments or dramas expect more than is appropriate – given the relationship or situation. Healthy boundaries come out of a sense of confidence and self-esteem. We innately know who to trust – and who not to trust – with our words, feelings, emotions, time, energy output, ideas, etc. We just sense it. With healthy boundaries, we also trust our ability to relate appropriately to others. We are confident enough to make requests and express our self fully with people – without overstepping their boundaries. (These blog posts are all based on my books. About My Books and purchase info is found here  (a list of my books is at the end) I am also a copywriter and offer writing services. About my Writing Services [...]